What Are We Bringing Up ?
 

A pregnant 14-year-old has told how having a baby is now regarded as "fashionable" among schoolgirls. Kizzy Neal has been asked to give advice to four of her classmates who have also fallen pregnant since Christmas.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/liv...n_page_id=1770

Re: What Are We Bringing Up ?
 

pathetic! And its partly th parents fault. If i ever have a daughtwer and she comes home preggers she will be in a for a suprise! Im not having my child preggers and ruining her life early on when she should be young and free.

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I agree no child should get pregnant at such an early age, but what plan would you have for your daughter then tadah??

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Absolutely disgraceful where have morals gone to these days, its not just the parents its society's acceptance of it. We said on another thread that the lack of sex education in schools & life skills is horrendous & these silly teenagers gain their knowledge thro other teens & have NO clue how demanding a baby is especially as a 20yr old nevermind in their early teens.

Watching Jezza in the morning comes in handy lol as the way a lot of these girls think is that a baby is something thats going to love them no matter what & everything will be cool........mmmmm maybe a look at themselves & would they cope with child just like them cos thats what they'll get & more. There is an advert that tries to make condoms & taking precautions cooler than not doing in attitude - which is obviously failing. Im my day girls that got caught preggers while at school were deemed slappers & stupid not cool!!

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I've warned my daughter enough times - dont come home from school pregnant i WILL not be amused at all as its not acceptable.

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some young girls see having babies as a career choice.
Have a baby....the council will find you somewhere to live and the welfare will give you money to live off.

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It isn't fashionable :confused: Ask the average 14 year old if they think having a child would be cool and they'd laugh in your face. It's a tabloid selling papers and some girl who is stupid enough to get knocked up so early alowing them to do it in her name.

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Teenage pregnancy wasn't unheard of when I was a teenager but it was much rarer than today. Girls knew that if they became pregnant they would be censured by all aspects of Society, including their parents and even their peers. In those days, before the advent of the contraceptive pill, unmarried girls knew there was, really, only one reliable form of contraception and that was - don't do it. If a girl did get pregnant she would either have to marry the father as soon as possible or, in a lot of very sad cases, give up the baby for adoption. I think the latter was wrong and cruel but that was the way it was.

There is so much more exposure of explicit sexuality now, in the Media and in Life in general, and young girls are pressured into giving an impression of maturity that they don't really have. In some ways it's very subtle, such as the type of clothes available for children. I often see pre-teens who are, frankly, dressed like Tarts. They are encouraged to be "grown up" but they are not ready for it, as the idea of "fashionable" under-age pregnancy just goes to show. It's all part of the collapse of conventional moral values, even the collapse of the conventional family unit that is prevalent today and it goes hand in hand with the eroding of discipline in general.

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This isn't about one girl Sam. There were four others in her class as well. The ONS recently published figures that there were 7,917 preganancies for under 16's in 2005 and we have the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Europe. I don't think a tabloid paper is responsible for that !!

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Whats equally as alarming is that the father ( I use the term biologically ) is only 13 :eek:

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There are plenty that do that and some who do have a job even if its part time and loving homes if 17/18. Why a kid would want a kid beats me but is best summed up by the answer I got of my nieces pal. She was going on about being 16 in March and I asked her what was so important to which she answered "it will be legal" so that somes up the attitude of these kids. My young cousin regrets it as it stopped her doing what she wanted to do at colledge and uni. Asked why she got pregnant she said it was an accident and besides her pals said they were all sleeping with their boyfriends. Whether this was true or not it shows the peer pressure part without the realisation of what the consiquences of it going wrong due to contraception failure/non use (lads are the worst for this) leads to.

The story shows that we are still failing children in an area that will affect them for life. Maybe its time to stop glamourising sex and change the mind set of these kids before more have their lives destroyed. I have a daughter and worry about what she will trying in a few years time and how I would react.

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I was not saying that it isn't common, but I am saying getting pregnant is not thought as fashionable.

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Without support from parents social services then the babies of these girls who are only kids themselves are in for a hard life or adoption. To Willows point about marrage she is spot on and that would be bad as well.

A harsh but useful answer at the extreme end would be chastity belts for both boys and girls until they are 21.

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And you keep the keys ? :)

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Did us old fuddy duddy's do something right then our Mel ??? seems like I heard that one before?? and I certainly remember your grandad stressing to me (ouch !!!) that it wasn't acceptable

But I accept your argument - its parents that set acceptable standards for their children, by whatever means they feel neccessary - and yes if thats a clout round the lugholes then I say to the P.C. brigade - Baa Humbug----- if the PC brigade want to tell me how to bring up my kids then they can take over - change their nappies, be there 24/7 and pick up the bills ------ no!!!! you don't want to do that !!! ------ then butt out !!!!

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Dont u just love smug parents:rolleyes:

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When I was 15 nearly 16 and had just left school someone i know found out she was pregnant. She told me by saying hey guess what im pregnant and im getting married and im getting a house. Now that was back in 1983. I turned round and said she was stupid. Why have a kid you wont be able to go out and have fun. By the way when she left her hubby because he was cheating on her the council/government gave her another house and furnished it for her.

Why have a kid if you cant look after and provide for the child though. These kids of 14 who are having babies how are they going to provide for them. They are under the age of 16 and so cant work full time - mainly because they are going to school to supposedly get the qualifications to go out to work. So who is going to be picking up the tab for childcare while they are in school and for their food and for their clothes and pram and cot etc? People who are at work and paying their taxes thats who.

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Hopefully that'll be you to flower

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Accymel n Mickmc I now know were to come when Lauren is a couple of years older. ;)

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LOL my dad [mickmc] taught me well just hope my lot take notice & do better than me like not have kids till their mid 20's at least hehehehehehe:D

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I remember my dad telling me not to bring 'disgrace' on the family.......I wasn't at all sure what he meant....but then he said that if i ever came home pregnant and not married he would turn me onto the street naked.......and I just knew that this was no idle threat. It was the best contraception ever!

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PMSL Margaret, i think thats the distinct difference from them days to now as parents were allowed to discipline their kids then - even make beleiveable idle threats cos we knew not to question it, todays kids question everything & they do the threats [idle maybe] & they know that theres a line parents can go to - so backfires now with disciplinaries taken out of hand.

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I was more scared of what my mum would do than my dad. My dad i could wrap round my little finger - i was daddy's girl. Mum - she'd have killed me!!!

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That sums my hooli.

Got her owd man well rapped round her little finger. :o

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both Ma and Pa were fearsome......after saying that they were fine if you did as you were told and heeded their warnings....and I can't say that I was scared of them......but we were left in no uncertain terms that whatever we did had consequences.......and I think that is where the answer lies. Kids need to be allowed to make their own mistakes in some ways, but they must always be aware that whatever their actions, there will be consequences. Which may not always be what they wanted, or envisaged.

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True point Margaret, ask my kids about the word 'consequences' they cringe with a oh no not this lecture again, especially my oldest LOL!!!

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HA HA SO WHEN U BABY SITTIN THEN DAD

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Heheheehe do u think he could handle 3 grandkids at once :D

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OUR JAKE WOULD BE ENOUGH:Banane06: :eek:

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This applied to any unmarried young lady not just teenagers, most of the smart ones got married and hoped Dad didn't do his sums well.

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Well, it must've worked as I got married in OCT 1966 and my daughter didn't arrive until March 1968...as the americans say 'you do the math'

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Aye, he could - but thats why I passed on my knowledge and wisdom to you two.... lol - so that I don't have to....lol

Always remember to explain to em that with every "right" they feel they have to do something, also comes with the word "responsibility" and that every "action" they do always has a "consequence" and to have respect for others and their property

My old dad had a very good theory about bringing up children, (and he should know, as he brought up 8 of us single handed after my mum died when I was 1, and still went out to work as well ) - it was "give children what they need, not neccessarily what they want" - think about that one carefully - it has great wisdom!!

Do they need the latest ipods or fashion??, - well maybe - or maybe they need love, attention, shared experiences, fresh air, a time to be kids and have fun, maybe they need to see places, allow them to achieve things for themselves - and maybe sometimes they need diciplining for breaking the rules

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mickmc, you are spot on with what children need. If they don't get the love and attention from their parents that is when they start doing the bad things that make parents take notice....they do need ground rules and boundaries,but these need to be set fairly early in their lives...and they need to be adhered to.

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Margaret when your Dad said he would turn you out of the house with nothing, he meant it and you knew he meant it.

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You thought me & maccy were bad mine beat us.............. i need a boxing referee 24/7 atm:D

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Also that u can do your best to bring your kids up what you think is right & thus them to fail or not suceed or do better for their future life. The hard thing is that the amount of pressure especially nowadays & the pc brigade its becoming extremely hard for parents that no matter what u do its wrong, finding the balance is hard.

Its a hard job & no handbook thats specific for perfect parenting:rolleyes:

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I think peer pressure does more harm than bad parenting these days. You can do the parenting job well enough but once they are out mixing you don't stand much of a chance if the wrong people get to them.

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True put u have little chance of actually protecting them, but give them as much advice & warnings about mixing with these types of people. You cant wrap em up in cotton wool or keep em away from other kids - otherwise 1 of 2 things will happen, 1] they get too scared to do anything then in later life once on their own have no concept on how to deal with it & get too afraid to do things/handle people in life so end up in a situation that isnt good because they cant get themselves out or with bad people OR 2] rebel & force their way to the very people u dont want them to hang with or do stuff thats wrong, to prove a point or end up with & doing the things later on once left home anyway.

So no win situ but give your kids the tools to survive that or how to deal with it should the time comes.

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Accymel, you are so right. You have to do your best....sometimes it doesn't look like things will turn out. But, if you give your kids the very best you can (and sometimes they feign disinterest, but are taking on board what you say) they will work out their own survival strategies.

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Unfortunately, this sort of thing is a status thing amoung certain groups in our society. It seems it's many of the poorer/uneducated lot that are found having kids at a very young age. I know of some families who are great-grandmothers at 45 - 50 years old. So much for teaching your children not to make the same mistake.

These young girls with a babe on their hip walk around like it's some kind of trophy. Then you have these young guys making the babes and taking no responsibility. The see it as a mark of manhood or something. They brag about "having 3 or 4 kids." They make em but don't do anything to support them.

It is just plain crazy (IMHO)!

Brian

Re: What Are We Bringing Up ?
 

My Dad made it very clear that if I fathered a child, then he would assume that I considered myself ready to take on full adult responsibilities - support myself, support the child, find my own place to live, and pay for any further education that I desired.

There was one really fine advert I saw in New York City - a picture of a young girl with a baby, and the caption "Having a child is like being grounded for eighteen years." I thought it was a brilliant approach!

Re: What Are We Bringing Up ?