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Giving Birth is agony myth!
The other day in the office I was surrounded by 3 heavily pregnant females all in various stages of pregnancy.
Sitting quietly at my work I couldn't help overhearing the tales of discomfort and sickness during the nine months of carrying the child. This was then capped with far, far too much info on the agony of actual childbirth. The question I didn't dare voice was if it's so horrible why do they go back for second and third helpings. Is the pain an urban myth?? Answers on a postcard please. HBC bunker.:Banane06: |
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The pain isn't a myth Lampman, I've had 2 children now both without any pain relief, although it is painful the pain disappears as soon as you have your baby and its worth it. The contractions for me near the end of labour was the most painful part.
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Just before my 1st one was born i didnt count on how painful it could be simply cos the mothers i talked to said it wasn't that bad - hmmmmmmmm oh gawd how wrong they were, i even came up with new swear words for an epidural tho wasn't allowed it & with my 2nd i expected the worst & it was much more controlled pain & manageable, still painful but not as bad as the 1st. The worst part is pushing them thro bit eeeoouch.
Lampman have u got kids, if so was u there at the birth as im sure yr misses would of given u a clue:D, if not ahh well u may find out one day just a tenth of the pain hehehehehe:D |
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Don't think you can generalise here Lampman, every woman has their own level of pain and how they best deal with it.
Yes, my experience was that it is a myth, and had suffered worse period pains on a monthly basis, never had any sort of pain killer either.Nearly lost my son, but that was due to inefficiency at the Hospital .. think 'cause I wasn't moaning an' groaning as some other women, wasn't as far on into the birth as they 'presumed', and equipment not working correctly, and the fact they left me on my own for long periods of time. We all have our birth stories and thank goodness everything turned out OK for me. Please remember though, that women still die in childbirth when things go wrong and what they must suffer must be horrendous compared with a trouble free birth. Not too sure of the stastics where a woman plans her second child, think most could be the result of 'accidents' .. who knows. :) |
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I was told by my missus at the time of my daughters birth that the nearest a guy could get to the birth pain would be his "delicates" being being used as a pin cushion. Its bad enough booted there so I cringe at the thought of pins. So if thats how bad it is then hell they are doing great taking it on.
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Yes Katex,my wife had a similar experience with our daughters birth,they both were in hospital for a further 5 weeks afterwards.
This was followed up by years of visits to Consultants at various stages of child development(our daughter had been deprived of oxygen). Anyhow all turned out well in the long term. Hmm.that brought back some bad memories,teach me to be flippant! |
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Image the red indian torture procedure-
Two saplings are bent so that their tops are pinned to the earth Then tie one leg to each one Then release the pins That's what came to my mind during labour (only did it once) |
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I didn't think labour was 'that bad' either....but I didn't go back for a second helping. I didn't have any pain relief...nothing, no gas and air, not even two paracetamols....and my daughter was 8lb 10oz....that gives the game away as to how long ago it was. (so she wasn't one of these tiny delicate looking babies)
I would say that the only way a man can maybe have some understanding of what labour is like....would be to shove a fair sized water melon up his bum and then tell him to part with it |
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Or as the late Dave Allan said try taking your top lip and stretching it over your head.
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I did it 3 times (giving birth, that is) and they were all over 8lbs. I had them very quickly, my longest labour being the first - 4 hours. I found contractions painful but the actual pushing them out just hard work.
I had studied and followed a book on natural childbirth by Dr. Grantly Dick-Read. His methods were based on yoga, fitness and relaxation and I am quite a titch, only 5'1 and small-boned, but I did all the exercises and learned to relax my whole body "at will". It worked for me. Having said that, with my 2 daughters I had spent 9 months in a perpetual state of vomitting. Morning sickness? it was all bl**dy day and night sickness - and a craving for draft bitter with the first one (peaches and Lucozade with daughter no. 2). Only my son behaved himself while he was brewing - and he made up for it 15 years later. :D So why do women keep on doing it? Mother Nature has a very firm hand and the urge to reproduce is, for those who experience it, something you can't always resist. No matter how awful the experience of birth there's nothing like the feeling when you hold your beautiful sleeping baby in your arms, at peace with the world. We'll skip over the feeling when it's screaming its head off at 3 a.m. as you change a nappy full of ****. ;) |
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Yes, I guess that would be a fair approximation too. It is true that you do soon forget the pain....but to be honest, it was pregnancy I didn't like...and I don't go a whole bundle on the motherhood lark either......and I NEVER EVER considered repeating the process.
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I don't think there is anyway we can fully understand what you ladies go through. |
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nearly four years ago my missus said she had worse toothache than labour pain !!!!! if its different everytime i`ll let you know , she`s due again in the next week or two!!!
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No doubt about it,it is the worst pain ever and suffice to say if you've given birth nothing else will ever seem as painful again,ever but mother nature has a way of ensuring that some time later,possibly to make sure that the human race continues,women forget just HOW bad the pain was.So you get all broody again and decide to have another then when you go into labour for the second time you're thinking 'oh my god,how could I have forgotten how bad this pain was' and then you have your lovely baby and the whole thing starts again in a couple of years and you might have to stop yourself going for a third maybe due to money,space,the thought that carrying on like this you might end up with a football team etc.
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have to disagree Lilly, yes childbirth is very painful but gallstones surpass it.... that really is pure agony with no joy of a baby or when the pain will end...was so glad when I got rid of gall bladder :o :)
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Would rather have couple hours/days of agony and give birth than go through nine months of agony on crutches then a c-section, with all 3 of ours.
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Everyone is different. Some are lucky and it's like shelling peas - they just pop out no trouble at all. Some women go through agony. Why do we do it again? Because the end result is worth it.
I've got gall stones - they won't operate because apparently it's not bad enough, although sometimes it's absolute murder. I've had other things too including a THING which needed an op to remove but even though the pain from that stopped me in my tracks and left me gasping for breath labour and giving birth won hands down. Mimi was such a flippin pest I was in labour for days with her and lost an awful lot of blood when she was born that I needed transfusions and wasn't able to hold her at first. Emz was born by cesaerian because she had to come out to provide access to the aforementioned THING |
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Not wanting to seem daft or indifferent but what's a THING?? I have 2 sons was there for both births. After 1st son was told NO WAY AM I GOING THROUGH THAT AGAIN!!! (23 hours in labour) 2&1/2 years later out popped son 2 (2 hours labour) Have dealt with births at home and in 2 cases in back of the Ambulance. Took ages to clean up urkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!! All mothers and babies were fine by the way |
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Do some women become addicted to the pain of childbirth & the end results?Maybe a bit like Beckham & his so called addiction to the pain when he has a tattoo on,but the results make the pain more worthwhile.:confused:
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Giving birth was incredibly painful and I make a point of remembering it on a regular basis - I don't want to forget because I want to be able to hold it over both of them when they're older.
Different sorts of pain though - Maddie was a horrendous pregnancy, 12 hrs of labour, depression etc so quite drawn out but I have never experienced anything quite as severe as that blow of pain when you've had a section and the nurses are forcing you to get out of bed. |
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Give me natural child birth any day, over a section ;) |
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So the consensus is that it can be a very painful experience,but one that you would repeat given the chance.A bit like life in general then.:)
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Well I wouldn't repeat it again. I've had one of each flavour and tried both methods of delivery so until someone can come up with something different I'll call it a day.
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I hope this whole discussion on who can handle pain didn't result in the "painful penis removal" event on traci's thread. Could have been an Accyweb male trying to prove his manhood. Hmmm, in this case that wouldn't work unless he wanted to hold it over his head or something.
As for having babies and the pain of the experience. Cindy's had two. For the second, she made me promise to not let her have any pain meds. "No matter what I say or what I do, I want to do this without them". . . . Alright, any guys who had to (oh I mean experience the joy of it all) standing in there watching your lovely lady weeping in agony, sweating like Victoria Falls, squeezing ya hand like the Tower Bridge has closed on it, . . . . . I aint no fool. After 3 hours of this, and a "bit" of begging on Cinnyose's part, I tracted down the doc. and had it done. Too be serious, I'm not sure if the ladies are aware how incredibly stressful it is for us guys. IMO, our duty is to love, honor, and protect our wives. To see you guys lying there in pain, unable to help, feeling a bit guilty for "allowing this to happen," isn't the best experience. At least Joshua came through alot quicker then Annie! |
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Willow that was a BIG THING then!!!! Glad all worked out for you all. Shame Doc didn't want to tell you what it was called and I agree LIFE THREATENING is dangerous!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Willow - I hope this doesn't upset you - but have you thought that it could have been a malformed twin? If I was you I wouldnt have been fobbed off like that. We ought to know what medics are doing to our bodies.
It might have been just a fibroid ---but not to know? |
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Ive never had kids so i dont what its like so you cant ask me! :D
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very sorry Willow - I had an early miscarriage but didn't realise it till years later
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ive had two kids and not yet experienced labour, i had to have c-cection for both, and believe me its bloody agony, and no it was not because i was too posh to push, like some soft sods!! it was because i developed pre-eclampsia, so they had to get em out, BUT i dont regret a single moment, i got two beautiful kids from it:D ;)
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On the myth of childbirth pain what about partners that are supposed to "empethise" and feel it all themselves is this myth or real?
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well he didnt complain when i was!!
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Its a myth Spuggie, I'm not saying its pleasant for the partners seeing their wife/partner in pain but there's no way they feel it.
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I had to have a c section because my daughter was breach and too big to use the normal exit ! No complaints about the op;I was wide awake and back on the ward with my baby 40 mins later. Plenty of morphine for the next few hours and then up for a shower the following day ! My (now ex) husband was there throughout although a bit green round the gills when he peeped over the curtain to see what was happening down the business end! I would love another,I really enjoyed pregnancy and hope there is still time for me !
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oh god i had a terrible time through mine, im afraid, if fella could have kids i probably would have had 3 more:D:D
then again if man could give birth we all be extinct!!! |
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My husband was there for the birth of our third, and last, child. Later that evening he looked into my eyes and said, "D'you know what I was thinking as she was being born?" I said, "No", expecting something profound and deeply moving. He said, "I was thinking I'd never seen anyone's face go the colour yours was, before." :(
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Oh it was definately painful for my (now ex) husband, he didn't tell me till later but through out one of my labours I was gripped on to his chest and he had gouged nail marks...few days later he complained of a bruised nipple...wait for it............
so I pulled mine out and said well look at these, do you want to try breast feeding then???? :D |
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:rofl38: can imagine his face:eek: ...lol
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I will tell you men how it feels right first bend a finger round each corner of your mouth and pull untill your lips split and bleed and then just pull for about another 10 mins then burn them with a lighter that comes as close to the pain as you gonna get!!
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Everybody has different pain thresholds and some women deal very well with the pain of childbirth and have minimal or no pain relief. Mother nature causes you to forget how bad the pain actually was, although women always remember that it hurt, but tend to forget just how much. Pain is a personal thing and is difficult to describe to somebody else.
We are very lucky in the UK because we have gas, opiates and epidurals to help us to cope with the pain. Some women also have very high expectations of childbirth and I know that it may sound daft but these women tend to believe that they won't have much pain. It comes as a real shock to them when they can be having pains for several days only to be told that they are not in labour and their bodies are just preparing.. Sometimes these women may have 2 or 3 hospital admissions before the 'real thing starts.' On the whole, UK women should think themselves lucky that we do have access to pain relief in labour, should we want or need it. Many millions of women in developing countries are not so lucky, no pain relief, no midwife, no doctors and no hospitals, frequent stillbirths and infant deaths, maternal deaths. Pain in childbirth is not a myth but very real, coping with that pain depends on a woman's pain threshold, expectations, attitude and support. Midwives tend to find that the women who have never had a baby before, say they want no drugs just alternative therapies, and are very rigid about what they will and won't have, tend to have every form of pain relief going once they go into labour. Women with the 'I'll take it as it comes' attitude tend to need less pain relief and be more relaxed. :D |
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Is it not the bushwomen of the Kalahari who experiance the least pain in childbirth? They simply go out, when the time is due and squat under the nearest tree. Out it pops with no pain and no need for any medication. Maybe the good ladies of Accy should be following their example - just think of the cost savings, especially to us taxpayers.
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Methinks you should take on board this extract from Lettie's post and ponder over your post .. :p |
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i thought childbirth was a breeze with my daughter 2 an half hours in labour she was 6 wks early and weighed 4lb 14oz. i thought i'd repeat the process and got pregnant again thinkin your second birth is easier i thought i'd breeze through it again how wrong was i 5hrs of pushing took to theatre give birth normal they put a cathetre in cocked that up and 4months down the line thats how old my son is i still have it in thanks to hospital negligance so i want be doin it again!!
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Reece came out the sunroof so i wouldnt know about giving birth:D
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The pain is unbearable. You don't know whether you or the baby will survive. At the time all you can think about is the pain. I was given morphine and later I had an epidural after screaming for pain relief for a further 50 minutes. It failed and they gave me another epidural about 5 hours later which worked thankfully.
I want another baby desperately. I fight with the decision each day, should I take the risk having another child or not. I don't want my son to grow up with no siblings. I am part of a large family and I know what he'd miss out on. Having seen what I went through, my husband doesn't want to take the risk. If we decide to try for a baby again then we will have made the decision to risk it. I have absolutely no intention of going through natural labour again - next time it will be an arranged C section. I think the reason women go through childbirth again is because a planned C section becomes an option, where it is rarely encouraged for the first pregnancy. What I question is why, if there is a safer way to deliver the baby, women are still encouraged to have a natural birth? With regards to the pain of childbirth measured against the pain caused by gall stones, I would say that the pain of childbirth is almost on a par with it. I had problems with gall stones after the delivery of my baby. The stones blocked ducts causing Pancreatitis and Liver failure and before my baby was 2 weeks old I was back in hospital with this similar pain becoming more intense like contractions. This was more scary though because there was no apparent reason for the pain and no end in sight. It was two months before I had my gall bladder removed so I had several attacks. Comparing it in hindsight, morphine worked as pain relief for the gall stones, but not for childbirth, so maybe childbirth was worse after all. Please don't assume that women dramatise childbirth, mothers and babies die everyday from the trauma and yet nature finds its way... |
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I have gone through four birth's. The pain from the fibroid has big as a 4 - 5 month pregnant woman was worse.
I had a natural child birth with my first, fairly quick no pain relief at all. With MUMMIBOO a shot of pethidine near the end. Sent me doolally and it still hurt. The more I had the worse it got. 3 tanks of gas n air and a shot of something or other. With the 3rd they suggested I had an epidural omg how i wish I hadn't. The needle going in was worse than the birth of my girls. The first top up was giving and then the time came for more and they couldn't find the anesthetist. He'd gone home. Ended up with gas n air. When they pulled the plaster off I could have hit the nurse doing it and swore at her. Got a telling off from Mick. Well it was stuck down firmly to all the little hairs on my back and it hurt like hell. But I found the after pains hurt more than the actual birth pain. |
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Yeah yeah thanks for this thread! i will be doing it agin for the 3rd time in a few months time! Owww
The first 2 time were not that bad i only had gas and air both times but that feeling that the nurse was sat there with a lighter burning me was just the worse feeling ever! |
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Women who have sections are more likely to develop fatal embolisms, wound infections, have greater blood loss, more pain (for several months after the surgery in some cases), anaesthetic complications and be less able to care for their new baby. Insurance companies do not allow you to drive for at least 6 weeks after a section. At a lot of hospitals now, C Section for no other reason than maternal request is not an option as it carries a much higher mortality rate than a normal birth. In other words, planned C Section is not the easy option.... |
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Well I for one have learned from this thread,didn't realise the cons of Caesarian Section.Though I must admit I am influenced by the fact that my own daughter was born after a long,long labour and was very ill as a result!
Good luck to all those nearing this hopefully happy time. |
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Every birth is different!!
My first was 37 hour labour, very very painful, had pain relief up to eye balls, he was 8lb 8 and stitched up to eyeballs too lol 2nd, 8 hrs labour, gas and air towards the end!! painful but manageable!! 7lb 11oz, no stitches home same day!! I think labour with 2nd 3rd kids etc is just as painful, but at least you know what it is going to be like. No-one can prepare you for the pain you will experience with your first!! I remember when I was about 4 month pregnant with my second, one day I was sat on the bed thinking about having him, and I cried...... I cried because it hit me like a ton of bricks just how painful my first was!! But actually I enjoyed the birth of my second, mainly because I felt in control!! |
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Why does a women who cant wait and wanted a baby dispite the pain it causes then blames her partner for what she is going through??? Sow the wind reap the wirlwind. :p
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I didn't really want to go into too much depth to scare anyone about to go through a natural labour, but the doctors couldn't find a heartbeat and after a 32 hour labour, with my baby lying back to back the doctor had to cut me open down below anyway (sorry, can't remember the medical term). The cord was wrapped round his neck and as I was pushing he was being strangled. Unfortunately, in my case gall stones causing pancreatitis and liver problems mean't I had severe abdominal pain for 2 months after giving birth and then cut open anyway to have my gall bladder out. This caused muscular pain and so my baby was about 3 months old before I could carry him and it took until he was about 6 months old before I felt no pain carrying him. I suppose everyone has different experiences. There are obviously risks with a C section, but I still think women who have experienced complications in a natural birth should be given the choice second time round. |
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I didn't really want to go into too much depth to scare anyone about to go through a natural labour, but the doctors couldn't find a heartbeat and after a 32 hour labour, with my baby lying back to back the doctor had to cut me open down below anyway (sorry, can't remember the medical term). The cord was wrapped round his neck and as I was pushing he was being strangled. Unfortunately, in my case gall stones causing pancreatitis and liver problems mean't I had severe abdominal pain for 2 months after giving birth and then cut open anyway to have my gall bladder out. This caused muscular pain and so my baby was about 3 months old before I could carry him and it took until he was about 6 months old before I felt no pain carrying him. I suppose everyone has different experiences. There are obviously risks with a C section, but I still think women who have experienced complications in a natural birth should be given the choice second time round. |
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First time round was hell so the second time from day one I asked if I could have an elective section. All the way through they said 'no'. At the last appointment they said that the baby was too big (10lb 3oz when he came out) and was breech so I'd have to have a section. I had the good sense to look horrified but inside I was going, 'yeeeeeeesssssssss'.
Recovered far better and quicker from the section than the 'natural' one and didn't have any baby blues afterwards at all. |
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well after reading 5 pages of mainly women whinging, i can honestly say,my consultant told me over 2 yrs ago, that my nuralgia is far more painful than childbirth,an i dont whinge about it- cos i'm a man.:D
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The nearest pain on the 'rhicter' scale was appendicitis which required rapid surgery -scale 8, childbirth was 10+ |
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So we are all agreed man is the more resilient to pain!:D
Afterall we survive man-flu! |
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i havent read all the reply so i dont know if im repeating myself here
but after labour our body produces hormones that makes us forget how bad labour really is... because nature wants us to keep reproducing |
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I wish my body could produce hormones to forget how bad the Labour government really is!
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I thank you!!!!!!!
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