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garinda 12-06-2007 15:11

Birth order.
 
I recently came across this site, which tries to explain how your birth order can affect your character.

Birth Order

I was the first born of two sons. I was also the first born in a generation, and was the first grandchild for all my grandparents, as well as the first child born amongst my parent's contemporaries.

My brother was born when I was two years and three days old. I remember being introduced to him at Bramley Meade, and being told he'd brought a Golliwog for me, as some sort of compensation. I remember liking the Golliwog, but thought it was a poor swap for not being an only child anymore.

I also remember offering to feed him his pureed baby mush, and whilst my Mother wasn't looking, scoffing the lot, thinking he might then waste away! Forty odd years later, I've resolved these issues, and love my brother dearly.

Some of the characteristics listed on the site, I might admit to, but certainly not to always thinking I'm right!!!:eek::D

So, what about you?

Do you think your birth position has affected you?

Are you a seventy year old baby?

Do you still feel neglected?

Does it matter?

West Ender 12-06-2007 16:17

Re: Birth order.
 
I'm the youngest of 3. I am also the youngest cousin, all of them being at least 7 years older than me as are my brothers. Are you getting the picture that I was, for want of a better word, an Accident? Yeah, you're right.

I don't fit the stereotype, having always been noted in the family as "independent" - "She's far too independent, that one," was the verdict when I was a child. I've never felt small (except in lack of height which, unfortunately, is true though the rest of my family is tall) and certainly never felt weak. I also tended to side with my 2nd brother against the eldest, rather than the other way, though not too seriously as we all tended to side with each other - "Kick one and you've kicked the lot", as our dad used to say - not that he ever did kick us, of course. I certainly didn't get "all my own way" as a child and I never felt like, or was treated as, the Baby.

I also have 3 children (there's a 10 year gap between numbers 2 and 3 - my mother wasn't the only one who could have an accident). They don't seem to fit the bill either.

Are we odd or is it all just a load of - you-know-what?

;)

WillowTheWhisp 12-06-2007 16:27

Re: Birth order.
 
Oh dear. I'm an only child and apparently this is me:

* Pampered and spoiled.
* Feels incompetent because adults are more capable.
* Is center of attention; often enjoys position. May feel special.
* Self-centered.
* Relies on service from others rather than own efforts
* Feels unfairly treated when doesn't get own way.
* May refuse to cooperate.
* Plays "divide and conquer" to get own way.


Well for starters I was never pampered or spoiled. My parents couldn't afford to do that.

Feel incompetent? Not sure about that. I am a perfectionist and don't accept something if I feel I can improve on it.

Centre of attention? Special? Who? Me? Nah, although I will often take the lead in things I'm also happy to follow a good leader too.

Self-centred? No, I really don't think so. I hope not. I'm always on at my kids not to be self centred when they don't think of the implications for other people when they leave decision making to the last minute etc. I hate letting people down and am always thinking of how it will affect others if I change my plans.

Rely on service from others? Chance would be a fine thing! :D Seriously I think I probably am more of a dooer unto others than a done unto.

Feel unfairly treated if I don't get my own way? Well,only if what I want makes a heck of a lot more sense than what the other person wants and they are too stubborn to see it. ;)

Refuse to co-operate? Nah, I'm as co-operative as they come if it'ssomething I am able to do.

And as for "Divide and Conquer" that is a game I can't abide and the child who I know who seems to have that one down to a fine art is actually from a large family
:D

So, all in all not all that accurate.

garinda 12-06-2007 16:28

Re: Birth order.
 
As the first child I did find it was me who had to fight for our rights as children, so to speak. I was the one who had to plead to have a bike, go to bed later, go on holiday by ourselves, have friends to stay over, how much money we could get for cleaning the car, etc.

The rules were already in place by the time my brother wanted to do the same things.

garinda 12-06-2007 16:30

Re: Birth order.
 
*Lol@Willow.

I actually read the attributes of the only child, thinking that it fitted me, then realised I wasn't, I was the first born.

Freudian or what.:D

Lilly 12-06-2007 16:49

Re: Birth order.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by WillowTheWhisp (Post 434067)
Oh dear. I'm an only child and apparently this is me:

* Pampered and spoiled.
* Feels incompetent because adults are more capable.
* Is center of attention; often enjoys position. May feel special.
* Self-centered.
* Relies on service from others rather than own efforts
* Feels unfairly treated when doesn't get own way.
* May refuse to cooperate.
* Plays "divide and conquer" to get own way.


Well for starters I was never pampered or spoiled. My parents couldn't afford to do that.

Feel incompetent? Not sure about that. I am a perfectionist and don't accept something if I feel I can improve on it.

Centre of attention? Special? Who? Me? Nah, although I will often take the lead in things I'm also happy to follow a good leader too.

Self-centred? No, I really don't think so. I hope not. I'm always on at my kids not to be self centred when they don't think of the implications for other people when they leave decision making to the last minute etc. I hate letting people down and am always thinking of how it will affect others if I change my plans.

Rely on service from others? Chance would be a fine thing! :D Seriously I think I probably am more of a dooer unto others than a done unto.

Feel unfairly treated if I don't get my own way? Well,only if what I want makes a heck of a lot more sense than what the other person wants and they are too stubborn to see it. ;)

Refuse to co-operate? Nah, I'm as co-operative as they come if it'ssomething I am able to do.

And as for "Divide and Conquer" that is a game I can't abide and the child who I know who seems to have that one down to a fine art is actually from a large family :D

So, all in all not all that accurate.

I am an only child too Willow and I agree that this is not an accurate description.It makes us sound hideous.A lot of people do tend to say 'Oooh I bet you were spoilt as a child' though when you tell them you're an only child.Very untrue,very unfair.

Margaret Pilkington 12-06-2007 17:21

Re: Birth order.
 
Like you Garinda, I was a first child and a first grandchild......though not for long........my little brother came along some 14 months later...so I actually do not remember ever being the 'sole' child.
There were no inducements to make me like my brother....no Teddy, or Golliwog.
I do remember being told I was 'responsible' for whatever my brothers got up to.......and at the time I don't recall this being a heavy burden....I felt more than ready and able to look out for them.
Babies held no magic or mystery for me......there seemed to be one delivered in a brown box every year. Ma always had home births.....and a few weeks before delivery the midwife would bring a large brown box to the house....and for a long time I thought the new baby was in there (how naive).
I sometimes wonder whether these occurences are responsible for the fact that I have very little in the way of maternal feelings....and that I am one of the few people who do not gurgle and coo over new babies.....they leave me totally unmoved. Despite all this I DID have just one child....and she has had two children. I would have loved to have been an only child.

panther 13-06-2007 09:36

Re: Birth order.
 
  • Behaves like only child.
  • Feels every one bigger and more capable.
  • Expects others to do things, make decisions, take responsibility.
  • Feels smallest and weakest. May not be taken seriously.
  • Becomes boss of family in getting service and own way.
  • Develops feelings of inferiority or becomes "speeder" and overtakes older siblings.
  • Remains "The Baby." Places others in service.
  • If youngest of three, often allies with oldest child against middle child. :eek:
im the youngest and sorry but non of the above apply:D so that theory is out the window:rolleyes:

accymel 13-06-2007 10:07

Re: Birth order.
 
Im the oldest of 2 with my brother whom was born 4 1/2 years later, so i went from only child to oldest child so suppose im bit of both with resentment LOL. Mainly felt rejected & pushed out when he came along as i was only child for over 4 years but then also exibited into oldest child syndrome after with feeling of responsiblity [because it was expected me being oldest] free babysitter, couldnt go places or with friends cos had to keep eye on younger bro & had to take him with me - like to the fair once :( cramping my style LOL.

Age difference siblings when kids seem huge at the time, plus i was test pilot child i went out of line, pushed boundaries, or tried new things it was much more restricted - plus as my bro freely admits hehehe that he learnt thro my mistakes or where i went wrong or could of done better or didnt - like get away with stuff he did, with 1st child its a learning curve for parents because its new for them as well as child where if subsequent siblings do it - its 'oh we seen this before' & they handle it better without the shock or over reaction as with the 1st.

So i think being the oldest child is the hardest to deal with from child point of view cos it can seem unfair. I have 2 now 3 kids so im very aware, i can understand the oldest one as well as the next oldest - having been in both of their shoes at some point so havent lost that thought perspective- but the youngest im aware but a bit blind in some respects as havent been the youngest child.

Its hard being kids sometimes hehehehe having said all that with my bro - we didnt get on kinda hit & miss back then dependant on what was happening, BUT now we have grown up we are remarkably close, we actually have a good sibling relationship now & those birth order obstacles that was hugely blocking as children are used to advantage now adults in keeping the balance in our siblingship, he comes to me when needs me & vice versa:D

WillowTheWhisp 13-06-2007 11:05

Re: Birth order.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington (Post 434082)
I would have loved to have been an only child.


I was, and would have loved to have had siblings. Funny isn't it?

Margaret Pilkington 13-06-2007 11:25

Re: Birth order.
 
I used to go over to Sheffield to stay with my maternal grandmother...who used to spoil me rotten.....and I used to pretend I was an only child......and I loved it.

I suppose we always want what we can't have.
My main problem about being one of a large family, was 'hand me downs'.....now you wouldn't think that as the oldest I would have handed down clothes......but folks used to take pity on my mum and give her clothes for us......and to be honest there was absolutely nothing wrong with the clothes......I just wanted to go out and buy NEW ones.

Neil 13-06-2007 11:45

Re: Birth order.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by garinda (Post 434042)
I also remember offering to feed him his pureed baby mush, and whilst my Mother wasn't looking, scoffing the lot, thinking he might then waste away! Forty odd years later, I've resolved these issues, and love my brother dearly.

Yes but he still spits in your pies :D:D:D

LancYorkYankee 13-06-2007 16:14

Re: Birth order.
 
Middle Child
  • Has neither rights of oldest nor privileges of youngest.
  • Feels life is unfair.
  • Feels unloved, left out, "squeezed."
  • Feels doesn't have place in family.
  • Becomes discouraged and "problem child" or elevates self by pushing down other siblings.
  • Is adaptable.
  • Learns to deal with both oldest and youngest sibling.

Both Cindy and I are middle children. I am the middle of 5 and she the middle of seven. I don't think the above list fits either of us too well. Our most similar traits are trying to bring sides together through nmediation and/or listening. However, when pushed or falsely accused or threatened tend to lash out quite firmly. This is probably due to being pushed around by the older ones when kids and being responsible for the younger ones.

I've seen more accurate descriptions, Hence Dr. Rindy Freud:p, could you please find a sibling/birth order study that better fits all of our self-stated qualities!:Banane54:;):p:D:Banane08:

Brian

p.s. Rindy, I guess refering to you as me little bruv hasn't caused any middle child delemma for you yet eh?:p

shillelagh 13-06-2007 16:38

Re: Birth order.
 
Im the baby

SPUGGIE J 13-06-2007 20:46

Re: Birth order.
 
Am the first born but does not sound like me. Must have been dropped or something to explain how I ended up. :o

Eric 14-06-2007 18:40

Re: Birth order.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by WillowTheWhisp (Post 434067)
Oh dear. I'm an only child and apparently this is me:

* Pampered and spoiled.
* Feels incompetent because adults are more capable.
* Is center of attention; often enjoys position. May feel special.
* Self-centered.
* Relies on service from others rather than own efforts
* Feels unfairly treated when doesn't get own way.
* May refuse to cooperate.
* Plays "divide and conquer" to get own way.


Well for starters I was never pampered or spoiled. My parents couldn't afford to do that.

Feel incompetent? Not sure about that. I am a perfectionist and don't accept something if I feel I can improve on it.

Centre of attention? Special? Who? Me? Nah, although I will often take the lead in things I'm also happy to follow a good leader too.

Self-centred? No, I really don't think so. I hope not. I'm always on at my kids not to be self centred when they don't think of the implications for other people when they leave decision making to the last minute etc. I hate letting people down and am always thinking of how it will affect others if I change my plans.

Rely on service from others? Chance would be a fine thing! :D Seriously I think I probably am more of a dooer unto others than a done unto.

Feel unfairly treated if I don't get my own way? Well,only if what I want makes a heck of a lot more sense than what the other person wants and they are too stubborn to see it. ;)

Refuse to co-operate? Nah, I'm as co-operative as they come if it'ssomething I am able to do.

And as for "Divide and Conquer" that is a game I can't abide and the child who I know who seems to have that one down to a fine art is actually from a large family :D

So, all in all not all that accurate.

I agree. I'm an only child too. Not only is it not accurate, it is pure, unadulterated bulls**t. I'm an absolutely fantastic human being, and I owe it all to being an only child:rolleyes:

garinda 13-11-2011 19:59

Re: Birth order.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by garinda (Post 434042)
I recently came across this site, which tries to explain how your birth order can affect your character.

Birth Order

I was the first born of two sons. I was also the first born in a generation, and was the first grandchild for all my grandparents, as well as the first child born amongst my parent's contemporaries.

My brother was born when I was two years and three days old. I remember being introduced to him at Bramley Meade, and being told he'd brought a Golliwog for me, as some sort of compensation. I remember liking the Golliwog, but thought it was a poor swap for not being an only child anymore.

I also remember offering to feed him his pureed baby mush, and whilst my Mother wasn't looking, scoffing the lot, thinking he might then waste away! Forty odd years later, I've resolved these issues, and love my brother dearly.

Some of the characteristics listed on the site, I might admit to, but certainly not to always thinking I'm right!!!:eek::D

So, what about you?

Do you think your birth position has affected you?

Are you a seventy year old baby?

Do you still feel neglected?

Does it matter?

Claytonx mentioned in another thread, that they regreted not having any siblings, and still do, and it reminded me of this old thread.

Brothers and sisters do have lots of fights growing up too, as well as lots of fun.

My brother and myself had some real ding-dongs, but loved each other really, and as an adult he's been fantastic to me, and I feel lucky to have him, and his family in my life.

Perhaps being an only child makes those that are, better at making friends outside the family, who knows?

Has your status as a child, only child, first born, baby of the family etc, shaped who you are today?

garinda 13-11-2011 20:11

Re: Birth order.
 
Actually, having just checked, there seems to be quite a few sites, which explore birth order characteristics, and how it's supposed to shape us.

How Birth Order Changes Your Life - Family Psych: The Personality Traits of First Born, Middle, and Youngest Children | Suite101.com

Birth Order

Birth Order Traits - What You Need to Know

...and here's a quiz you can take, to check if any of this is true.

Quiz: What's Your Birth Order Personality?

:D

claytonx 13-11-2011 20:17

Re: Birth order.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by garinda (Post 947667)
Claytonx mentioned in another thread, that they regreted not having any siblings, and still do, and it reminded me of this old thread.

Brothers and sisters do have lots of fights growing up too, as well as lots of fun.

My brother and myself had some real ding-dongs, but loved each other really, and as an adult he's been fantastic to me, and I feel lucky to have him, and his family in my life.

Perhaps being an only child makes those that are, better at making friends outside the family, who knows?

Has your status as a child, only child, first born, baby of the family etc, shaped who you are today?

Yes I made sure as best I could that my family would have more than one child. I have been fortunate to have four daughters all married with five children between them, who have two more, so my family consist of wife,four daughters, five grandchildren, two great grandchildren.Our house is never empty as there is always someone visiting and thats a good family life,all in good health and with steady jobs which again is something to be thankfull for.

garinda 13-11-2011 20:18

Re: Birth order.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by garinda (Post 947670)

...and here's a quiz you can take, to check if any of this is true.

Quiz: What's Your Birth Order Personality?

:D

Some seemed daft questions, but they were answered truthfully, and...bang on, I am a firstborn.

:eek::rolleyes::D

You're #1: Firstborn Personality Whether or not you were the first child born into your family, your personality indicates that yours is a firstborn personality. What does that mean? Well, even though you're a natural born leader, you tend to uphold the status quo.In other words, you can lead well, but you're not necessarily going to try to shake things up. If you are indeed a bonafide firstborn, you can attribute this tendency to the fact that, for at least a little while, you were the only child receiving attention from your parents. You didn't have to share the limelight with anyone else, and you developed a relationship with your parents that allowed you to be the center of attention (again, for at least a little while).Also, being the firstborn gave you some insight into your parents' personalities; therefore, you absorbed much of their belief system through some sort of familial osmosis action. After all, you didn't have any siblings there to buffer the relationship you shared with your parents. As other siblings came along, your parents depended on you to be a little helper and occasional babysitter. Whether or not you enjoyed these roles, they did and continue to help you be the capable, ambitious, hardworking person you are today

cashman 13-11-2011 20:23

Re: Birth order.
 
The quiz is a bag of crap, i came out the Middle Child. when in fact i'm the eldest, n i answered em honestly.;)

garinda 13-11-2011 20:25

Re: Birth order.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by claytonx (Post 947674)
Yes I made sure as best I could that my family would have more than one child. I have been fortunate to have four daughters all married with five children between them, who have two more, so my family consist of wife,four daughters, five grandchildren, two great grandchildren.Our house is never empty as there is always someone visiting and thats a good family life,all in good health and with steady jobs which again is something to be thankfull for.

That's lovely. You've certainly got a big, loving family around you now.

When you said you still wish now, that you had siblings, it brought a lump to my throat.

Then I got to wondering if only children are better at making friends, because they have to, not having ready made playmates at home.

You certainly seemed to have had a good gang of close pals around you, to have your adventures with.

Then I remembered this thread.

:D

Margaret Pilkington 13-11-2011 20:26

Re: Birth order.
 
Well, I did the quiz, though I couldn't relate to some of the questions...it seemed too american to me....and guess what I came out as a 'firstborn personality'.......and I am actually the eldest child in a family which has seven children.

I always wanted to be an only child. I like my own company.
I only had one child.....but she, like you. Claytonx regretted not having siblings....and has two children of her own.

heth 13-11-2011 20:26

Re: Birth order.
 
Well even though I am the eldest apparently I am more like a middle child,


Personality Traits of Middle Children - Birth Order
  • More mysterious. Middle born children are more difficult to define because their identity growing up changed (from last born to middle child). This affects their personality and environment in unpredictable ways. Strange, it didnt change as I were growing up?
  • Peacekeepers. Middle born children may be more likely to keep peace in the family, to restore connections and relationships. Yep this is deff me, I hate arguing and try and keep the peace.
  • Less decisive. Middle children may take longer to choose a career than firstborn or later-borns. They may deliberately make opposite choices than firstborns; if the first born is a doctor, the middle child may choose to be a firefighter or policeman. I kinda fell into a job, didnt really make a career for myself as I were too busy being naughty when I should have been thinking about my future!
  • Less connected. Middle children may not be as attached to the family as first borns or later borns. This one I disagree with very much, any one that knows me can tell you that my family is the most important thing in my life.

heth 13-11-2011 20:28

Re: Birth order.
 
I do agree thought it did seem very american that test.

Margaret Pilkington 13-11-2011 20:28

Re: Birth order.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by cashman (Post 947676)
The quiz is a bag of crap, i came out the Middle Child. when in fact i'm the eldest, n i answered em honestly.;)

Maybe you should have been a middle child.

garinda 13-11-2011 20:30

Re: Birth order.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by cashman (Post 947676)
The quiz is a bag of crap, i came out the Middle Child. when in fact i'm the eldest, n i answered em honestly.;)

Unless someone snatched a sibling, before you came along, and left some pegs and some lucky heather in their pram in exchange, and no one's ever told you.

;):eek::D

garinda 13-11-2011 20:53

Re: Birth order.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington (Post 947679)
I always wanted to be an only child. I like my own company.
I only had one child.....but she, like you. Claytonx regretted not having siblings....and has two children of her own.

Does she?

Perhaps we all want what we didn't have.

I do love my brother, but like you, much prefered my own company as a child, no one could match the imaginative world that I'd created, and I still do prefer my own company.

Having met your lovely daughter, she has a very special, empathetic quality, which she might not have developed, if she'd had siblings. Perhaps it was meant to be.

I do think most of it's daft, but I do think some of who I am today, was defined by being a first born, to two new sets of grandparents, and the first child born in our extended family for a generation.

I wasn't spoiled, but a lot of attention was invested in me. Which really, sadly, seems to diminish with the arrival of the next child in our family. Not especially from parents, but from the whole family as a whole.

My brother thinks this is true. There are boxes of photographs of me, and tons of film, and very few of him. Him being the film making grandparents' third grandchild, by the time he was born.

I was also given lots of things, that had belonged to children from previous generations, books, precious toys, childrens' furniture, which he didn't get given to him. Though I suppose why would they save stuff to give him, they didn't know he'd be born two years later than me.

I do think there's something in it...perhaps.

:rolleyes:

Margaret Pilkington 13-11-2011 21:04

Re: Birth order.
 
When Nicola was having her second baby I told her that there wasn't much to bring a child into the world for....and you know my feelings on babies......I wasn't keen on them.
She told me that she didn't want her son to be on his own in the eventuality of his parents demise.....she wanted him to have someone with whom he had a close bond.....and it was then she said she wished she had had a brother or a sister.

I had never considered such things when she was growing up.......I felt that she would be very self reliant......I am independent and self reliant....and felt that these were traits she would inherit.
I also know that having brothers and sister does not always work out how you would want it to....although I am one of seven children, there is only me that really does the caring stuff for my mum.....OK two of my siblings are in Oz.......but the others - all boys, seem to have little interest in how Ma is, or whether there is anything they could do for her.
Some families just do not get on at all....and this can be a cause of much unhappiness.

Margaret Pilkington 13-11-2011 21:06

Re: Birth order.
 
My grand parents made much of me....I was their first grandchild and they doted on me......but this was the only place where I felt truly important.

cashman 13-11-2011 21:11

Re: Birth order.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by heth (Post 947681)
I do agree thought it did seem very american that test.

Thats probably the reason its a bag of crap.:D

cashman 13-11-2011 21:14

Re: Birth order.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by garinda (Post 947692)
Does she?

Perhaps we all want what we didn't have.

I do love my brother, but like you, much prefered my own company as a child, no one could match the imaginative world that I'd created, and I still do prefer my own company.

Having met your lovely daughter, she has a very special, empathetic quality, which she might not have developed, if she'd had siblings. Perhaps it was meant to be.

I do think most of it's daft, but I do think some of who I am today, was defined by being a first born, to two new sets of grandparents, and the first child born in our extended family for a generation.

I wasn't spoiled, but a lot of attention was invested in me. Which really, sadly, seems to diminish with the arrival of the next child in our family. Not especially from parents, but from the whole family as a whole.

My brother thinks this is true. There are boxes of photographs of me, and tons of film, and very few of him. Him being the film making grandparents' third grandchild, by the time he was born.

I was also given lots of things, that had belonged to children from previous generations, books, precious toys, childrens' furniture, which he didn't get given to him. Though I suppose why would they save stuff to give him, they didn't know he'd be born two years later than me.

I do think there's something in it...perhaps.

:rolleyes:

If yer from a good/loving family, don't dwell on crap like this i reckon.;)

garinda 13-11-2011 23:31

Re: Birth order.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by cashman (Post 947702)
If yer from a good/loving family, don't dwell on crap like this i reckon.;)

We did come from a fantastically loving family. Still do.

Trust me, I don't ever dwell on this.

It was only Claytonx's post, about them wishing they'd had siblings, which reminded me of this subject.

Then again, I would say that, being a first born, wouldn't I, you little baby?

:dummy2:

;)

:D

garinda 13-11-2011 23:42

Re: Birth order.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by cashman (Post 947700)
Thats probably the reason its a bag of crap.:D

Though how we're all raised, and in what environment, and how we learn to develop relationships with other people, and who those people happen to be, might have an affect on the personality traits we go on to develop throughout our lives.

A child brought up from birth alone in a cellar, might develop slightly differently from a child brought up in the company of other children, in a secure and happy home, say.

So environment may shape our development, as science tends to think, and it might not all be crap.

:rolleyes:

cashman 14-11-2011 00:01

Re: Birth order.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by garinda (Post 947765)
Though how we're all raised, and in what environment, and how we learn to develop relationships with other people, and who those people happen to be, might have an affect on the personality traits we go on to develop throughout our lives.

A child brought up from birth alone in a cellar, might develop slightly differently from a child brought up in the company of other children, in a secure and happy home, say.

So environment may shape our development, as science tends to think, and it might not all be crap.

:rolleyes:

Well i was once shut int coal nook, so that may have contributed.:D

garinda 14-11-2011 00:11

Re: Birth order.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by cashman (Post 947766)
Well i was once shut int coal nook, so that may have contributed.:D

I can understand why.

:rolleyes::D:p

jaysay 14-11-2011 08:42

Re: Birth order.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by garinda (Post 947667)
Claytonx mentioned in another thread, that they regreted not having any siblings, and still do, and it reminded me of this old thread.

Brothers and sisters do have lots of fights growing up too, as well as lots of fun.

My brother and myself had some real ding-dongs, but loved each other really, and as an adult he's been fantastic to me, and I feel lucky to have him, and his family in my life.

Perhaps being an only child makes those that are, better at making friends outside the family, who knows?

Has your status as a child, only child, first born, baby of the family etc, shaped who you are today?

I would have loved to have had a sibling, especially now I see how my kids are so close, as for making friends Rindi, I think your right I used to love making new friends especially female:D

jaysay 14-11-2011 08:46

Re: Birth order.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by garinda (Post 947769)
I can understand why.

:rolleyes::D:p

Um does answer a lot of questions:p:p:D

Gayle 14-11-2011 10:40

Re: Birth order.
 
I'm an only child but it seemed to think I was the middle child.

I was an only child due to economics, my parents really couldn't afford another one at the time because they were so young when they had me and then when they could afford one they decided not to have one as the family of three seemed to be just right as it was.

One thing that being an only child has given me is independence. I know that no matter what happens I can cope with things on my own and I can certainly stand up for myself. I'm extremely comfortable in my own company and never need anyone around to entertain me.

What's most interesting about the family dynamics is how me and my longest close friend from school (the one I shared all my growing up with) have done the opposite and she has only had one child because she saw how my life was and I have had two because I thought she had it better.

I can certainly see how Zack is like his Dad and Maddie is like her uncle and the similarity of the dynamics between their relationships.

There's a lot in it but equally it's of no real importance because I couldn't suddenly muster up a younger or older sibling, even if I'd wanted to. So in those immortal words

I AM WHAT I AM

mobertol 14-11-2011 12:46

Re: Birth order.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington (Post 947697)
My grand parents made much of me....I was their first grandchild and they doted on me......but this was the only place where I felt truly important.

Idem!

I did the quiz and came out as First-born which I am -the description it gave is pretty accurate as far as I can see.

I don't make friends easily - (especially now as an adult and particularly with other women) - but of my 4 "Best-friends" who all remain from childhood, 3 are "only children" -i wonder if there is a reason for this?

Wish i hadn't read the description of a First child in the link on the first post - scary to see all my "issues" in black and white...

Margaret Pilkington 14-11-2011 13:37

Re: Birth order.
 
don't see them as issues then...see them as opportunites to change...well that is if you want to change. I guess if you see them as issues, you must want to change them.

Margaret Pilkington 14-11-2011 13:39

Re: Birth order.
 
How we perceive things colours the way we approach issues....they stop being issues if you accept them as part of the person you are.

mobertol 14-11-2011 13:46

Re: Birth order.
 
It's hard to change who you are and the way you relate to your family members - had realised quite a few things in this sense recently through the "sharing" of past history with a friend. Seeing it written down makes you take notice and realise how you fall into a pattern and can't be yourself properly - time to rebel perhaps!

Margaret Pilkington 14-11-2011 14:20

Re: Birth order.
 
If change is impossible, acceptance is the only way.

garinda 14-11-2011 18:40

Re: Birth order.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by mobertol (Post 947969)
It's hard to change who you are and the way you relate to your family members - had realised quite a few things in this sense recently through the "sharing" of past history with a friend. Seeing it written down makes you take notice and realise how you fall into a pattern and can't be yourself properly - time to rebel perhaps!

David Bowie - Rebel Rebel - YouTube

:Dhttp://skins.hotbar.com/contentserve...en-GB&SG=sg039:D

mobertol 14-11-2011 19:09

Re: Birth order.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by garinda (Post 948062)

Great choice -love Ziggy!

Have already started the up-rising!!;):D

cashman 14-11-2011 20:50

Re: Birth order.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by mobertol (Post 948089)
Great choice -love Ziggy!

Have already started the up-rising!!;):D

Yer outa touch mobertol,that was long after ziggy.;)

mobertol 09-12-2011 13:00

Re: Birth order.
 
Thought about this with relation to my own family. I have two sons, the first is 5 yrs older than the second. He has just returned from 3 months away and after 5 days at home it's amazing the way the equilibrium of the family has changed.

He has reclaimed his bedroom which his brother had moved into - no fight over this , the second is a born peace-maker and everyone likes him -perfect 2nd child profile. The first is the leader, has had all the advantages is sure of himself, intelligent and thinks everything is his by right...

Quite an eye-opener, hadn't really noticed before how they relate to each other. They have never really fought over things but sometimes words fly. The second has had one advantage over his brother though -I have always been more lenient with him and things his brother first did at 17 he got to do at 14/15.


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