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I am sick to death of people i know and strangers(!) making comments about me being 'at home on my behind all day whilst i get benefits'.....excuse me.........even if i did it would be none of their business but it makes me even more mad because....
I DONT GET BLINKING BENEFITS ANYWAY :mad::mad::mad:
Fair enough when i was on benefit then they had a point to an extent and i just used to take the stick i got for it....even though i worked from when i was 14 till i was 8 months pregnant, with only a 6 months gap when i first moved up here,so i feel i paid enough tax to justify recieving benefits for 2 years so i could be at home with Jack.
When i started seeing my new fella i moved him in with me quite quickly for two reasons-1) because i love him so much:o and 2)because i didnt want to be seen as a benefit cheat even though he wasnt even living with me/giving me money he did come over nearly every day.At that point ALL my benefit stopped.I informed the benefit people the day BEFORE he moved in-which i know most people dont bother doing.

I was on the bus a while ago ago and a women was sat near me and Jack with her lad....she had obviously just been shopping for new shoes for him but he didnt like any of them and he said 'mummy i want ones like that boys got' pointing at Jacks boots to which she replied 'you cant have them,Clarks shoes are too expensive sorry babe' and muttered 'shes obviously on income support'!!!!:mad::mad::mad: i just got off the bus....i didnt know what to say to her cos i was so mad.

Another time i went for a brew at the local surestart centre with Jack and an old couple said to me 'must be hard surviving on benefits and being a single mum eh?!.....erm excuse me IM NOT EITHER!!!!


People should not just assume.


Sorry.......rant over.

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Kitty are you ok?

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Why u get so mad? what happens in ur life is no ones bussiness, if u had to care about what everybody elses says, thinks or mutters then u will have no life, at the end of the day what u recieve or not is up to you and no one else.
I work and im on benefits too, little amount but every little helps, sometimes it makes me angry when people says that i moved from spain to get benefits, well i didnt and i know that and i dont have to explain myself to anyone and neither shud u so stop getting angry about what people says, its not worth it,
Oh and about the clarks shoes bit, my son has them but they have been either given or bought in charity shop or ebay, not because i cant afford it but simply cuz i think they are too expensive and would not pay what they ask in shops.

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get down to tommy balls, all there shoes are clarks :D

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i know my friend buys them there, where is this place?

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I am now i have had my rant,cheers.....just pees me off when people say stuff about things they dont have a clue about.

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in Blackburn, near Morrisons

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i know what you mean

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miss kitty, people that make comments like that, are just saddos,making up for their own inadequacies, tell em to SWIVEL.;)

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i know exactly how you feel kitty.....

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Thanks for your replies.....much appreciated.

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you dont have to explain anything to anyone kitty
your friends dont need explanations
and your enemies wont believe them
so as said before let em swivel ;);)

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Know how that is Kitty had that rant most of my kids life still feel it too to an extent, im a stay at home parent have been for well over a decade [feels longer lol] not really by choice because kids interests have to come 1st & always the priority a pigging nitemare getting a job around it, now my life is a little more lenient, its still a barrier not for want of trying see job apps thread - been doing it long enough to know the rejection & the employment industry being more competitive with the foreigners, im slipping more by the wayside well feels like it, well it shows it means nowt to employers but assume the layabout parent label too despite the voluntary & college inbetween:( - my rant soz:o

Yeh i get the prejudgment comments of sitting on my arse scrounger opinions & im far from it, boring life waiting on yer loved ones & housejobs, its like blumming groundhog day:rolleyes: hence i try & get involved in something like osc & community stuff to least keep me sanish:D otherwise u lose your identity as a person, but some people are only too happy to labelise people to make themselves feel better, its a hard thankless job at times being a responsible stay at home parent & not a career choice LOL!!

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I have my lad in nursery for 3 days a week. I love being able to spend more time with him. But years ago it was mothers duty to stop at home and look after the kids. Why is it now that women are frowned on when they arent at work!!!!

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i am 20 but look about 15 so people always think im a silly teenager who has gotten pregnant and now im going to be a single parent. ............. well there wrong because i was trying for a year before i managed to get pregnant and me and my boyfriend are still together with no intentions of splitting up... why are people so old fashioned with there opinions

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apparently young mums just want benefits and a council flat.... id love to be back living at home with my mum again

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Council flat is old hat, it's a house they want nowadays :D

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all of us are inclined to make generalisations......it has been done in this thread......and it is something that has always happened in one way or another.
All I would say is live your life and disregard what other people think. You cannot control their thoughts, anymore than they can control yours.

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lol ...........................

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It's funny you say that its an old fashioned opinion because I think its quite a new thing. Most people seem to frown upon teenagers getting married and starting families, yet alot of older people I know seemed to have done all that before they were 20.

I dont think there is anything wrong with young parents or single parents, my mum had me when she was young, and now she is a single parent and I think she does a brilliant job (though some on here might suggest that I turned out badly :p ) , and I'm sure my brother and sister will both turn out well too.

I think the only thing I have a bit of a problem with is older women getting pregnant, but perhaps that isn't right of me, i'm not sure.

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Isn't that what nursing homes are for :p I think I personally would be hesitant though of nursing homes, perhaps it might be just because my interest is in the health care/medical secter of law, but there are so many cases of the nurses mistreating and even killing the elderly people in their care, there is even a couple currently in the news for it, and its not a rare thing. Its horrible.

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Carers, minders, anyone with responsibility for looking after people in some way neglect people. It's not even safe to have your own family care for someone who's ill or in need of care at times, and its not just elderly people, its disabled people and children and those with severe illnesses. Its hard to find someone you genuinely can rely on to have that kind of responsibility for your loved ones i think. There are just so many cruel people out there :(

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There are thousands of carers out there who do the work for very little money and do not ill treat the people in their care......because a few hit the headlines does not mean that they are all like that. Newspapers and TV programs love to make much out of a minority.
Many carers go above and beyond the call of duty, because they become attached to the people they are caring for.

I worked in Nursing for almost 30 years and never saw anyone ill treat a client/patient...and if I had seen that kind of treatment I would have reported it in an instant.....I have, however seen nurses hit, scratched and bitten by people under the influence of alcohol....but that doesn't mean that all people who drink alcohol will treat nurses in that way

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Obviously they arent all like that, but what i'm saying is that its a horrible world when you have to worry about such possibilities when its meant to be a help to everyone including the person who is being treated there.

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mentioning the fact that some carers do abuse those in their care, does offend the vast majority of those who do their job diligently and to the best of their ability, and may perpetuate fears in people who are currently in the situation of looking for somewhere to place an elderly or infirm relative.
Although I take your point that it must be considered, it is a sweeping generalisation.

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theres nowt wrong with single mothers on benefits, they do a good job on their own, probably better than most couples.
I have no problem with them whatsoever.

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Just look at it this way you have payed your tax,s but there is a lot that has not so don,t let them get you down.

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Some people are so old fashioned (in the bad sense) with their opinions because they need something to fill up their boring sh***y lives. Screw what strangers think; or better still, tell them what you think of them.

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I dont think you should listen to people's generalisations, this Govt doesn't make it easy for a mother to return to work, childcare costs are high and I agree a lot of employers aren't flexible enough. You dont have to prove yourself to anyone.

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That is a ridiculous statement to make and I am deeply offended by it. I was Iantos carer and I resent you implying that I was neglectful in my care for him. You really should think before you speak or do you just not care about other peoples feelings????

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i totally agree with bernadette. that was a nasty thing to say i know loads of carers that love the people they care for and do a very good job at it aswell...

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there are quite a few members who have been carers for loved ones,and to generalise like that is abysmal blazey, sometimes you should look at the big picture before engaging yer big gob.:(

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does your statement apply to anyone careing for someone?? this must include teachers, nursery nurses and mothers as they care for children... so does your mother neglect her children?

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So why do you just no get married then, if you were trying for a year to become a family unit? OK.. old-fashioned opinion maybe. :confused:

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i know what ur saying ive been married 24 years now been together 25 years but for our kids to get married now a days it is so expensive i think thats one reason why they dont seem intrested to get married.

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I think this is definately one of the reasons....getting wed really does cost over the top amounts of money these days if you want whats considered a 'nice wedding'.To most it would mean getting into debt....something alot of people dont want to do,but thats a whole new topic :D

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That is because we did it and now we know better. In my opinion 20 is too young to have children. You should be enjoying time with your other half while you still can. Children make a massive change to your life. You wont realise how massive till you have one.

I thought the trend now was to sort out your life/job/house etc then have children later in life, maybe in your 30's.

Except the ones who want council houses and free council tax of course :rolleyes::D:D

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I don't agree with that either. It depends why you want to get married. Is it because you want to be married or because you want to have a nice day? A friend of mine recently got married at the registrar office with just their parents there. They told hardly anyone about it until after the event. They did not need to get wed for any 'other' reason, they just wanted to be married to each other.

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BOTH! maybe im just greedy?:D

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Thats another reason for doing the marriage bit first and the baby bit second. After the baby bit you will never have enough money for the wedding bit :D

I know, I did the baby bit first, but he did look smart in his top hat at the wedding :).

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I was determined never to get married before Jack came along....

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Sorry I am a little confused by that

Do you mean you

Intended to never get married but now you have Jack you would

or

That you wanted to have children before getting married

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Lol erm neither (i think?).....
I never intended on getting married EVER.

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Why not?

Yes I am noisey :D

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Noisey AND nosey Neil...poor Romps lol

erm various reasons really-i came from a family that has lots of broken bad marriages,i think its a very expensive piece of paper and felt it wouldn't change much in a relationship....my views have changed obviously, but before they had a little gorgeous thing called Jack appeared (just call me Mary) ;)

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Ok so my browser at work does not a spell cheker and I am naff at spelling Mary

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Il let you off seeing as its so early in the morning x

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What a load of old ballcocks. It's no more expensive to get married now, in real terms, than it ever has been.

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so can accywebbers get a cheaper wedding by asking you?:D;)

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You're right there, Neil. How much does it cost to get married at the registry? I think it's about £40 for the necessary license. It need not cost any more than that.

Getting married is as expensive as you make it. You can spend thousands on the day if you want but it's not compulsory.

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How does that work then?
I thought CofE ministers ( or whatever you call them) can marry people, apart from that I thought it was only the registrars who could do it at licensed places. Many hotels are licensed now.

If you get married in a catholic church don't you need a registrar there?

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Is that unique to your church or do other non CofE churches do it as well?
Is it a new thing as I thought only CofE ministers and registrars could do weddings.

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I suppose i could cut costs a bit cos my grandads a vicar :)

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getting wed needn't cost the earth, got stretch limo, licence,flowers,witnesses, video,lovely chapel, etc etc, cost around 250 dollars, ya just need to suss things out. that was approx 6 yrs ago, ya can book a package with a tour operator n will cost a fortune, use yer head n jobs a good un.;)

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I can think of more important things to spend our money atm though eg our house,Jack.
He reckons he is gona marry me eventually.....thats if i say yes ;)

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It just so happens that a friend of ours is a C of E Vicar, I will ask him what he knows about it all when I see him next. I suspect he could only do it in a C of E church after all the license bit has been done.

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I think we paid something like 17/6 to get married.....my suit was 12 quid....the taxi up to the register office was a couple of quid....both hubby and I travelled there in the same one.....we didn't have a reception, someone made us a cake as a gift. OK, all this was 42 years ago....but he has asked many times if I wanted to do the church thing with a swish do.....but my answer has always been NO.
Getting married was the important bit.....not the flash clothes or the posh do.......and if I could go back, and had more money I wouldn't change a thing.

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C of E vicars are not limited to the church at which they are incumbent (is that the word you were looking for?) for weddings, funerals or christenings. :)

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You would need to ask your chosen vicar if he was willing and you would also need to okay it with the incumbent of the church you'd chosen. I know that our vicar has done weddings elsewhere and that we have had other vicars officiating in our church.

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I hope he cleaned it up afterwards :rolleyes:

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Im ringing my grandad tonight,do you want me to ask him?

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They can conduct weddings in any church as long as they have the permission of the incumbent.

If you wanted the vicar at St Paul's in Oswaldtwistle to conduct your wedding and you were getting married in Cambridge this would be ok as long as the vicar of the church in Cambridge gave his permission.:)

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miss kitty don,t you let them work you up in any way just get on with your life and you keep a smile on your face and everything will work out for you.

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