Aggrievating things about Women...
 

I love 'em dearly, but why do they:

1) when you're on a packed train, standing room only, insist on using the empty seat next to them as a storage space for luggage?

2) When you're right behind a girl in the check-out queue at the supermarket, she runs off to pick up some obscure vegatable at the far end of the shop just as it's her turn so you have to stand there doing nowt while she comes back?

3) You get through check-out and go to get 20 fags from the baccy stall, the girl's mate (above) has decided to avoid the main tills and pay at the ciggy section.....but she's got 55 items?

4) You finally get out and get down the pub, there's one table left so you go to the bar and order your drink, turn to your table, and some floozy & her mate (above) have walked in behind you and pinched your table without getting a drink?

Your answers please....I have many more questions.

Re: Aggrevating things about Women...
 

I've never done any of those things.... honest!!!;)


OK, I'll admit to the public transport luggage on seat thingy, but it was self defence and done purely to stop the creep, who was staring down my top from sitting next to me and hemming me in by the window...

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Why did'nt you just offer him the window seat..then it would have been more difficult to stare down your top...mind you, he probably would have had his hand on your knee

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Only Tealeaf would start a thread like this :D

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Someone has to......I reckon I've got about another 100 observations to make...and then there's all the other blokes as well

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Sorry about that Lettie, I was lonely :p

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:rofl38: :rofl38: Nice one Neal....

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Why is it that when girls are out on the town in the evening they are incapable of going to the loo on their own and have to be escorted by at least one, and usually two friends? Can you imagine a bloke saying to his mates "I'm going for a pee now...who wants to come with me....."

Re: Aggrevating things about Women...
 

Now there are several answers to the toilet one..

1) They're not actually going to the loo, but are in mid conversation and feel the desperate need to apply lipstick.

2) They are going to the loo, but know there is no lock on the door (most town centre pubs in accy) Rather than try to sit on the loo with your leg stretched out to try and get your foot on the door, we use our mates as a doorstop.

3) they have gone to talk about somebody behind their back ( that's the usual one)

4) You know that your mate will have toilet roll in her bag, and there's a high chance that the pub won't have any (accy again)

5) She may also have a spare toilet seat secreted about her person, and some of the pubs round here don't have those either. Must be some sort of national shortage of loo seats or something.

6) Some women aren't comfortable standing in pubs alone, while their mate is half an hour in the loo, so they will accompany them.. Personally, I couldn't give a toilet seat.. :D

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Blimey....I wonder how lot you would go on in France? Last time I went on a pub crawl in Paris it was'nt only the bog seats that were nicked...so were the bog bowls as well ...there was just a hole in the ground...you could also forget about the paper 'cause they had a water jet instead.....and women and blokes use the same room. On the basis of the reasoning above, it would take a coachload a week just to allow for one girl to have a p.

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There is a slightly more scientific reason for the 2 to the loo thing. Assuming that both women went to the pub at the same time and drunk equal volumes of fluids. The normal adult bladder has roughly a 300 ml capacity. If both are youngish adult females with normal renal, parasympathetic and sympathetic nerve functions, normal sphincter and detrusor muscle action, then they will simply need to pee at the same time. Once you've broken the seal (so to speak) in a pub, you are pretty much garanteed to need to go every 15-30 minutes thereafter, and will probably be in sync for the rest of the night.. :D

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But this is purely theoretical.As you are aware, continence is maintained by the external sphincter and pelvic floor muscles maintaining urethal pressure higher than bladder pressure....your estimate of every 15-30 minutes is such that statistically one would be looking at a mean variation of 7 or 8 minutes between 2 friends...in other words, the chances of them having to go at the same time are far less then not having to go at the same time.

Would'nt the simple solution be for all the women to petition for decent bogs in pubs in Accy; and if they ain't decent, report them to Health & Safety?

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A lot of women would rather go into the loos with their friends and literally sqeeze one out, even if they do not wish to urinate at the same time. I reckon it is because they don't want to be left in the pub on their own. My mate will go about every 15 mins, as her pelvic floor is shot at, I tend to accompany her every other time as my pelvic floor is damn near perfect.;)

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Well said Lettie,I can wait ages for the loo,result of the Caesarian section I think!And I never go to the loo with a companioin and have no worries about entering pubs in Accy on my own,[foreign towns are different!]I am now going to start a thread about aggravating things men do! :hitting8:

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HOLY SAMOSAS Lettie!!! A mouthfull and then some. Isn't the idea with medical dictionaries to give them a cursory glance and then use them to prop up wobbley table legs?
What you have just described, is it the Ahhhhh... feeling, more prosaically known as a bladder orgasm? :confused: ;)

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They're almost the best ones......;)

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Trust Tealeaf to get everyone going then log off....

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Tealeaf and his ideas terrible!! hehe
Personally i dont mind going the loo on my own but one thing i dont do is go to the bar!

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I have never liked going to the bar for drinks.
Don't know why.

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The Secret Language of Women -- Keywords and Their Meaning

Fine
This is the word a woman uses at the end of any argument in which she
feels she is right about but needs to shut you up. Never use "fine" to
describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those
arguments.

Five Minutes
This is really half an hour. It is equivalent to the same "five minutes"
that a football game is going to last before you take out the garbage.

Nothing
This really means, "You'd never understand." "Nothing" is usually
accompanied by a woman's desire to turn you inside out, upside-down, and
backwards. "Nothing" is often said prior to an argument that will last
"Five Minutes" and will end with the word "Fine."

Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows)
This is not permission. This is a dare. One that will result in a woman
getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine.

Go Ahead (with normal eyebrows)
This means, "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You
will get the "Go Ahead" with raised eyebrows in just a few minutes,
followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five
Minutes" when she cools off.

Loud Sigh
This is not actually a word, but is still a verbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that
moment and is
wondering why she is wasting her time arguing over "Nothing."

Soft Sigh
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few
things that some men actually understand. This means a woman is content
and your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

That's Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can say to a man.
"That's Okay," means that she wants to think long and hard before paying
you retributions for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is
often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with the raised
Eyebrow "Go Ahead." At some point in the near future when she has plotted
and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

Please Do
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to
come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is
that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful
and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."

Thanks
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint; simply say, "You're welcome."

Thanks a lot
This is much different than "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks a lot"
when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in
some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not
to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you
"Nothing."

Re: Aggrevating things about Women...
 

You must have risked life & limb, Len, investigating all these subtleties of female communication.:)

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You know! lol

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The women's answers are all completely true Len.....:) Used many of those in the past, and no doubt will continue to do so. ;)

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The way women say it only costs so much.Or my wifes classic:-
They were on Special offer.Half price so I bought 3 lots and that way i get one free.

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When a woman buys a newspaper, what's the first page she turns to? The latest politics? The sports page? The Crossword?

No, page 19......the horoscope page. And we are meant to take seriously people who believe in this mumbo-jumbo.
Pass me the chicken bones, someone.

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You are such a cynic tealeaf.lol

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wot would we do without him :rolleyes:

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I have just realised I accidentally omitted the "i" from "aggrievating"...shame...still, at least I spelt it with an "e", unlike the somewhat obscure spelling of the title of a similar thread ...typical women.

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The reason Anne wont go to the bar is she don't like paying for a round !!

Re: Aggrevating things about Women...
 

I had a girlfriend like that once....she did'nt buy a round, I did'nt buy her one, the landlord did'nt like her standing there with nowt, so she had to wait outside..no problem.

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What's a cynic? A realist who isn't afraid to speak their mind!! :)

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Yeah, Tealeaf. What have you gone and done? :( ;)
You've lit the blue touch-paper and stood well back!
You wind 'em up and let 'em go, just like a clockwork mouse. But this particular mouse has traded in, and upgraded. It's now got thermo-nuclear power source, it's set to run and run. Will we ever hear the end of it?
When will a woman ever let you have the last word???

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Women never let you have the last word, you should all know that by now. We are perfectly amenable as long as we get our own way!!!!!:)

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Point taken. Point proven!!:D

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the trouble is women don't know what their own way is..........is it this way? iIs it that Way? Which way? What way?....who knows....certainly not any bloke..

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Aggravate...to make worse,to provoke,irritate....from Chambers English Dictionary.
Aggrieve..to be treated unjustly[same dictionary]
Two different words,two different meanings,I think my spelling was better than yours Tealeaf!Blonde I may be, but I can spell! :p :p

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Just testing, Lindsay.......

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I'm going to stick up for Anne here - the reason women don't like to go to the bar is because we have much smaller hands than men and you do insist on having pints which are much harder to handle than our half's and of course we also need to hold the change because no women's clothing have pockets!

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Whats yer handbag for?

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dancing around, carrying used tissue, carrying sticky sweets!!!!! what did you think a handbag was for..

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I never take an handbag out with me

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You know, it's years since I've been to a disco/dance.....do women still dance round in circles with their handbags in a pile in the middle? What was or is the purpose of this peculiar ritual? Can anyone explain?

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if you where up here tea id ask you to come r/roll to-nite NO we dont dance round our handbags, we now use smaller handbags therefore no need to carry as much at our age, just money & lippy cos you men are too tight to buy the drinks all night //

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Thats your fault....women were quite happy once having a night out with a couple of halves of mild & a bag of cheese & onion.....now it's all this fancy alcopops business at some rip-off joint that probably charges five quid to get in and then two quid a bottle....outrageous...

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...plus I forgot the thirty quid chicken madras and the ten quid taxi afterwards..

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Tealeaf
And at the end of it all,you get nothing.

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....apart from the usual excuses.

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Oy Mez that is not fair.Who wanted sexual equality?I know of a few womenfolk who get insulted if you ask to buy them a drink.No way.You wanted the equality so women should buy the drinks too.

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now it's all this fancy alcopops business at some rip-off joint that probably charges five quid to get in and then two quid a bottle....outrageous...[/QUOTE]
Two quid a bottle, i wish. More like £3.50 - £4

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Well i wiill admit that the wife likes wickeds.We were backfor New Year in 2001 and the cost a quid.In August 2003 they were up to over 2 quid.Come on.I agree wi Sara

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I have upped your karma for stickin up fer mi shortstuff.
Your spot on with that answer.
Also he didn't tell you he takes all my cash before we go in.

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Oh Anne - you need training up. Remember - his money is our money and your money is your money!

Why do you think women have their money in a purse in a handbag & blokes have it in their back pocket? - Answer - it's always quicker for the bloke to get his money out so he should pay!!!

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Men are moaning that we spend too much of their money.... I beg to differ. I have always insisted on paying my share of a night out, and men can't handle that either.. Is it any wonder I'm still single.. My perfect man would be about 3ft 5ins, just the right size to balance my beer and pizza on his head while I watch the telly, and I may even be able to utter the immortal 'while you're down there' thingy. Which I've secretly always wanted to do..:D

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Just stop and think of all the wonderful inventions men have made for women over the years.....the electric iron, the gas oven, the hoover, the washing machine....and what thanks do we get? None whatsoever......all to help them with their housework. "Too much", they say, "it's never done".......while they're meanwhile chatting away on that other great invention, the telephone.....

And now they want "perfect 3ft 5" men".......

I give up.

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And i must point out that women don't seem to be able to grasp new concepts! Metric measurements for example, surely Lettie should be looking for a man that is 1.041 metres tall!! And i bet you never saw a clown woman that could balance a pint and a pizza on her head.

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Mind you Wingy, if we said a perfect womans measurements would be 95D X 55 X 90 it would'nt quite sound the same, would it?

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My perfect woman would be blonde, rich, 38 - 24 -32 love football and Snooker,read every wish from my eyes and be born without a toungue.As this is needed to talk

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Come On Guys...we're 12 Replies & 55 Views Behind The Whinging Wimmin On Men Here..lets Have More Of Your Views Before They Overrun Us....

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Why is it when you go to buy the wife a gift and ask her for here sizes,
she will say "If it's clothes, I wear Small, " If it's diamonds, I wear Large."?

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Why is it that when you sense that your lady is feeling down, or frustrated, and you suggest that it may be pmt you get your head bitten off! Yet if THEY say its pmt you just have to accept it??

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It's called Pathetic Man Tension Wingy.....:D

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You lads wouldn't cope for 1 month with PMT. If you had all those hormones running round you'd realise that we're actually quite calm & rational!

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I don't get PMT, and I'll shoot anyone who disagrees!!!!!!!! :flamethro

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If men had to have babies the human race would become extinct.

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If men could have babies we'd get robot's to build 'em.....none of this 9-months mucking about malarky....we'd build a factory, stick the bits in one end and 20 minutes later...whoosh..out comes the finished product the other end. And by finished, I mean finished..........no leaking & pooing for the first two years of it's life.

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What do you mean P.M.T. we have to put up with all the side effects.Moaning ,bitching and all that other Malarcky

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You lads are sooooooo lazy - and let's face it, if we could get robot's to build babies, us girls would have created them by now and then made the male of the species totally extinct. Just remember - us girls only feel attracted to you men for one thing - to reproduce. (Which is kinda of why guys are attracted to girls - well the procreating part anyway!)

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You forgot about his wallet.

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I think not short stuff! You can have your robots but that would never replace a Robert.Robots are cold unfeeling things and Roberts make you feel nice and warm and can tell you things that make you feel good.By the way i do like women and kids.Best Tax Dodge i have ever discovered LOL!

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:lol: :lol: :lol:

You might get a roasting for that one! lol

:flamethro http://www.accringtonweb.com/forum/a...tachmentid=811

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LEN!!!! How many times have I told you not to plaster my photo all over the net..:D

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I didn't think you would mind. ;)

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Wow Lettie an Ad for homepride.


No lumps

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I beg to differ too!!! http://www.luxweb.co.uk/~accringt/fo...s/rolleyes.gif


Past tense, Dear. I must be very tolerant. http://www.luxweb.co.uk/~accringt/fo...es/biggrin.gif


Well, I'm 6' 3'', will that do? Six foot tall, that is.
Yeah, that 'while you're down there' phrase does ring a bell. http://www.luxweb.co.uk/~accringt/fo...ilies/wink.gif But what do I get in return? Nowt! http://www.luxweb.co.uk/~accringt/fo...lies/frown.gif

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:drink: where did this thread come from sparky!!!

10. good things about a woman
1.
2.
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10.breasts:rofl38:
should this not be on anything goes.

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Glad to see you know your place..;) :D

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I now know a bloke that needs a decent mouth-wash for christmas!

:signbeer:

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i think you should stop looking into why woman are and start looking into why men arn't.
After all its down to the way men are that makes women behave the way they do.
Change the way men behave and hey presto the woman changes automatically and if she does'nt then thats the PMT.

My fella says i have PMT for 3 weeks of the month.

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l:eek: sorry lads looks like we are history check this out!!baby born after 21 years!!!!!:signntme:http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/allnews...name_page.html

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That's an email address.:confused:

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It's woman that have an influence on all children at an early age, so it must be their fault that men grow up the way we do, some famous person once said give me the child until he is seven & I will give you the man! (apologies for not giving an exact quote).

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:eek: [QUOTE=MUMMIBOO]i think you should stop looking into why woman are and start looking into why men arn't. After all its down to the way men are that makes women behave the way they do.QUOTE]

I know a word that describes this statement appropriately;:eek: unfortunately I’m not allowed to use it to its full potential.:o However, it’s got a B and two L’s in it……..;) :p May I state at this point to the fundamentalist feminists that I am not being insensitive chauvinist pig,:rolleyes: :) but something less offensive like “Truthful” :p

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Its true the females of this world are a big influence.Look at the Italians.All through their childhood the men are told ' when you grow up to be big and strong you will go to work'.What comes out of it = most Italian men grow to be about 5'3".
Sorry if anybody is insulted it is a ligthhearted comment

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That's because they have another mate up at the bar putting the order in. It's always somebody's "job" to find a table.

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try this willow. http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/allnews...name_page.html