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Aggravating things about men!
Why do...
Men put the empty milk bottle back in the fridge? Take the last thing of a plate in fridge and leave the plate there? Sniff their socks when they take them off? Scratch their wotsits first thing in the morning before even opening their eyes? Never replace an empty toilet roll with a new one? Throw things pathetically at bins and look astounded when they miss? Use every pan and utensil in the house when they "cook"? Answers on a postcard please..... |
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I don't think the world posesses enough web space to list all the aggravating things about men....;)
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Totally agreee there Lettie.
When they have scratched their wotsist they smell their hand? why? Why do they laugh when they fart? |
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Why do they fluff the duvet??????
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Why do they brag about going to the toilet?
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Why do they leave dirty clothes on the floor, then complain that they've no clean clothes????
Why do they never ask directions, but are happy to drive round in circles for ages pretending they know where they're going and hoping you won't notice that they don't? Why do they never read instruction manuals?? |
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Why do they never look properly, then find what they were looking for under their nose
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Why do they never know how to work a washing machine?
Why do they always insist they don't know how to work the video machine, but somehow they know when they want to tape football? Why do they have to weigh their pockets down with change, then not know how to sew up the holes they make? |
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If they have actually managed to hoover up, why do they never put the hoover away, but leave it in the middle of the living room until you come home, then say 'look! I've hoovered' (big deal!)
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why do they always have to be right?
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Why, on a night out, do they urinate in back alleys or on the steps of the register office (seen that twice in a month, it's like Niagara Falls down them steps on a friday night) when there is a toilet in the nearest pub about 10 feet away???
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never go to the doctors and admit when they are ill?
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. "I can't find it." MEANS: It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I am completely clueless. 2. "That's women's work." MEANS: It's difficult, dirty, and thankless. 3. "Will you Marry me?" MEANS: Both of my housemates have moved out, I can't find the washing machine, and there's no beer left. 4. "It's a man thing." MEANS: There's no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical. 5. "Can I help with dinner?" MEANS: Why isn't it already on the table? 6. "It would take too long to explain." MEANS: I have no idea how it works. 7. "I'm getting more exercise lately." MEANS: The batteries in the remote are dead. 8. "We're going to be late." MEANS: I have a legitimate reason for driving like a maniac. 9. "Take a break, honey, you're working too hard." MEANS: I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner. 10. "That's interesting dear." MEANS: Are you still talking? 11. "Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love." MEANS: I forgot our anniversary again. 12. "You expect too much from me." MEANS: You expect me to stay awake? 13. "It's really a good movie." MEANS: It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and tits. 14. "You know how bad my memory is." MEANS: I remember the words to the theme song of A-Team, the address of the first girl I kissed, and the number plate of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday. 15. "I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses." MEANS: The girl selling them in the shop was a real babe, and was wearing a bikini thong. 16. "Oh, don't worry, I just cut myself, it's no big deal." MEANS: I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before admitting I'm hurt. 17. "Hey, I've got reasons for what I'm doing." MEANS: What did you catch me at? 18. "She's one of those rabid feminists." MEANS: She refused to make my tea. 19. "I heard you." MEANS: I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and hope I can fake it well enough, so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me. 20. "You know I could never love anyone else." MEANS: I am used to the way YOU yell at me, and realize it could be worse. 21. "You really look terrific in that outfit." MEANS: Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving. 22. "I brought you a present." MEANS: It was free lighter night with every 5 beers. 23. "I missed you." MEANS: I can't find my socks, the kids are hungry, and we're out of toilet paper. 24. "I'm not lost, I know exactly where we are." MEANS: No one will ever see us alive again. 25. "This relationship is getting too serious." MEANS: I like you almost as much as I like my car. 26. "I don't need to read the instructions." MEANS: I am perfectly capable of cocking it up without printed directions. |
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If you kiss him, you are easy
If you don't, you are frigid If you praise him, he thinks you are fake If you don't, he thinks you are ungrateful If you agree to all his likes, you are submissive If you don't, you are controling If you visit him often, he thinks you're desperate If you don't, he thinks you're not interested If you are well dressed, he says you are vain If you don't, you are a dog If you are jealous, he say's you're possessive If you're not, then he fools around If you attempt a romance, he say's you are cheap If you don't, he thinks you are cold If you are a minute late, he says you are fussy If he is late, he says you're impatient If you visit another man, you are fooling around If he is visited by another woman, "oh we're just friends" If you kiss him once in a while, he says you're too shy If you kiss him often, he says you're too forward If he fails to help you in crossing the street, he brings up the feminist movement If he does, he expects to be rewarded If you stare at another woman, he says you're jealous If he is stared by other men, boy, you're in big trouble.. If you talk, it's always too much If you listen, it's never enough In short: So complex, yet so predictable So macho, yet so sensitive (usually to their own feelings) So confusing, yet so funny but most of all, So irritating, yet so irresistible ...MEN! |
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Why do they never read instruction manuals??
It's all part of life's great adventure. Us pseudo-technical people never read 'em. I once had cause to open one of these mythical manuals, the first line read: 'You should have read this before it went bang!' How true! |
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In short:
So complex, yet so predictable So macho, yet so sensitive (usually to their own feelings) So confusing, yet so funny but most of all, So irritating, yet so irresistible ...MEN![/QUOTE] Men are like larva lamps Janet, Fun to look at, but not too bright......:D |
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Why is it that when we women have a cold, that is what we have, a simple cold. But when men have a simple cold in turns into MAN FLU?
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[/QUOTE] Men are like larva lamps Janet,
Fun to look at, but not too bright......:D[/QUOTE] Oooo! Scratch her eyes out! Perhaps we should just b****r off to the moon. And take all the batteries with us.;) :p |
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You know they only put the "S" in SARS, cos it would be embarrassing to die of "ARS"...;)
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men // well wot can one say // as i was told by one man my ex, (womans logigic is not like a mans ) plz tell me wen as any man ever shown anyone any logic at all, its different to a womans ( we are always right ) ha ha ha
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This is getting close to fighting talk!!! |
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LEN your monkey post is spot on...........
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How can you tell if your wife is dead ?
Sex is the same, but the washing up piles up. How can you tell if Husband is dead ? Sex is the same, but you get the remote. |
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Girls , girls , girls.We do all these things to make you feel superior.I mean when all said and done its the female maternal instinct that keeps you looking after us, or sympathy come to that.
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why do they never put the toilet seat down?
why when they have had 5 pints they turn into a serial letch? |
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i have an a-mail about men and women if anyones interested but i dont want to put it on here cos it contains a minor rude word and apart from that i wouldnt know how to paste it on a thread annyway:(
just give me ur e-mail addresses xxx |
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[QUOTE=pussycat]why do they never put the toilet seat down?
Why do women never put the toilet seat back up where it belongs? |
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Why do men never clean the toilet after they've used it???
Why do they think a clean pair of underpants are the ones they had on yesterday, turned inside out...:D |
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I put a clean pair on every friday. Whats wrong with that? |
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[QUOTE=Len]
I put a clean pair on every friday. Whats wrong with that? [/QUOTE And I bet many times you don't even need to |
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Hosed it down with what???? ;)
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why when they have had 5 pints they turn into a serial letch?
Now then i have given up the alcohol for the last 19 years.And anyway why take them home when they are that way ???????????????????????????????? |
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Well girls, you know what they say...
Women, we may have our faults but Men have only two. Everything they say and Everything they do........ :D |
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...so what happens when we say & do nowt? Just the same old diatribe........
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Am sooo glad I started this thread in reply to Tealeaf's,just so I can yak on about my spelling!!!!!Put dictionary on your next birthday list Tea! :D :rofl38:
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Typical.....it was originally a typing error, not a spelling mistake
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chill ladies
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Whoa i think i will keep out of this one.But honestly girls you should never question your husband or partners choice.I mean look who he has decided to live with or marry.
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Why if a man can't find something the whole household has to stop what they're doing and help search until the woman finds it, but if the woman can't find something the man just carries on watching telly and gets annoyed if the searching woman crosses in front of him???
Everything on this thread is sooooo true - I wonder why we put up with them??? |
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come on girls! you know why. lol
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:rofl38: :rofl38: :rofl38: ha ha ha ha
:wave8: good one Lettie |
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They used to sell them in some of the ladies toilets in pubs, down Accy
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No doubt to help you pass the time while you're having the usual meaningless gossip with your mates in the loo....
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I think we need to face facts ladies.. Women will only be equal to men when we can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think we're sexy...:D
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It may well be the case that some of us are folically challenged, but at least we don't go spending forty quid on an hairdo when that good money could be used to return the compliment by buying the blokes a drink
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The follically challenged bit doesn't bother me, but when blokes are walking round looking like they urgently need a midwife......... Beer guts, just don't do it for us ladies... :nono8:
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Come on if the women had put it back in the right place in the beginning then we would not have all this aggrooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!! and why wantit when football is on?
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And why when a woman spends £40 on a hairdo do they come home and moan and say " he never does what I ask"??
Men spend £5 and are 100% happy |
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Well that must be the moaning Gene.It is a female Gene i am sure,Honest i really am
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The bathroom library..
I'm not saying this applies to all blokes, but why do some blokes take newspapers or magazines into the bathroom, when they go for a sit down job. My ex husband says it's because you can't rush a masterpiece, but I reckon it's sheer laziness. By the time he'd come out of the bathroom, all the housework would have been done, and he still would not have even cleaned the loo, despite the fact that he had been sat on it for an hour and messed it up..:) |
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Well basically it keeps idle hands busy.While you need your hands to turn the pages and hold on to the paper you cannot do anything else ?????????
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Lettie you should know by now that its the bathroom fairy that cleans it! Also we have a self cleaning shower.
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Well i look at it as a sharing thing.I make it dirty the wife cleans it.I earn the money she spends it LOL!
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And i would not allow any fairies in my house
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Men and women may be employed in the same job which pays the same rate, but in my experiance "earning" is a different matter
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You would'nt be a touch sexist in saying that would you T.
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Me Sexist? Merely observant.
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About time we both started our own website eh? T. Sexiest dot com springs to mind.
M |
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Dont you start mik, we have enough keeping Tealeaf in check.
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Why do...
Men put the empty milk bottle back in the fridge? Then you will take it out,wash it and put it outside. Take the last thing of a plate in fridge and leave the plate there? Then you will take it out, wash it up and put away. Sniff their socks when they take them off? To make sure they are smelly enough for you to find them and put in washing machine quicker thus ending in quick turn around and constant supply of clean socks Scratch their wotsits first thing in the morning before even opening their eyes? Hate to state the obvious but a. To check they are still there and b. Because they sometimes itch. Never replace an empty toilet roll with a new one? Because your always reorganising and moving the rolls around so we can never find them in the same place twice! ( This can sometimes happen with furniture aswell, with bedrooms becoming studies and dining rooms becoming lounges ) Throw things pathetically at bins and look astounded when they miss? Who misses? Use every pan and utensil in the house when they "cook"? Creates more washing up for you to do. Washing up is relaxing and so gives you time to work out the above answers. Hopefully concluding that by doing the above men can save several vital minutes even hours a week thus giving them more time to spend in the pub or watching footy! |
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aye you are right Jane .Thing being you could knock on T,s door but me i am too far away for that, or am i?????
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Afraid I'm the same Mik........not exactly a 5 minute bus ride from Accy town centre (despite what it say's above)
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well then T it looks like we get the advantage over the womenfolk of this website.I wish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Well done - you've both moved many miles away and now you've got the upper hand! (Don't think so!)
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thank you for the verification of that fact ShortStuff.Me and T thank you for that
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Yes Shortstuff....we're away from Accy. I'm still not following your logic though; but then again, what man can follow any womans logic....in fact, do women have logic....possibly - but, as in the immortal words of Doctor Spock, "...not as we know it".
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Well, beam me up scotty.:hidewall: :tongueout :hidewall:
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i cant believe my brother actualy scratches them and sniffs his fingers. pussycat you shouldnt be saying things about him like that.
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And if us girls don't speak logically - why is the only answer you give us when we're talking is "Yes love" and "I agree"? |
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cos they darnt say anything else, cos they KNOW we are always RIGHT////
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We know we know that we're always right - whats wrong with that?
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Lettie, we're never, ever wrong...you should know that by now.
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Belly button fluff.. Why do men get it? A quick reckie of my female friends reveals that they don't, and I've never seen it on any of my female patients. When I was in general nursing, I used to find it on fellas all the time. Do they not wash themselves properly? Is it the clothing they're wearing? Why is it always blue? Can anybody answer this question????
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Men get it through hard work.........the bodily movement causes friction, rubbing against your clothes which works it's way round to your belly button. Women don't get it because a) wrong shape b) no hard work, apart from moaning.
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I see you're working your socks off at the moment Tealeaf... :rofl38:
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I've got blisters on my fingers.....
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It's a wonder you dont have blisters on your tongue Tealeaf. Slagging off us women.
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Janet, I don't slag off anybody. I merely observe & record some fundamental home truths.
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Women may not always be right - but at least we are capable of admitting it - Try getting a bloke to say he was wrong!!
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I'm wrong :(
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A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. ;) :D |
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