Parenting classes
 

A nursery school (that shall remain nameless) sent out flyers via all the children at my kids' school advertising Parenting Classes. A few days later a woman was in the school yard trying to encourage parents to go to these classes.

She came over to me - I asked her what it was all about. She said it was all about teaching us how to be better parents. At the time I was mid-cuddle with Maddie so I asked Maddie if I needed any lessons in parenting, she shook her head. I turned to the lady and told her that "no thanks" and "I found the whole thing very patronising".

Is it just me? And surely, if someone was a 'bad' parent they wouldn't be likely to go to a parenting class in the first place would they?

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french lady??

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She could have been, I'm not very good at recognising accents.

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How did the lessons go Emma? :p:rolleyes::D

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lol, thats ussi, she's actually very nice. she was doing the push at tys school the other day,she is a friend of a friend.

It is a parenting course, its supposed to help you control your childs behaviour and learn how to build a better relationship with them.

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I got one of these flyers from our nursery too and i didn't find it patronising.
It just looked like a class where parents could get together with other parents and give tips, have a chat about what works and what doesn't and talk to outsiders about problems they may see a solution for.
She could have put it in a nicer way 'teaching us to be better parents' is not the best way of saying it but i don't think thats what its about anyway.
The leaflet says its to "bring out the best in your children,give you support,increase your confidence and share ideas".
I think our area needs something like this-i know those that are considered bad parents are not likely to attend but if even one family gets something from the 12 week course i think its worth it.......and its free which is even better :)

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you only know i was there because you were sat behind me pulling my pigtails :p

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I had arranged security to stop the kids stealing anything from the school :D

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To my knowledge there are still no manuals on how to be the perfect parent, so how come people can be/feel qualified to give classes :confused:

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they obviously have a qualification in managing childrens behaviour...... you can learn different strategies that may or may not work with your child..... if it doesnt work then at least you tried.

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Strategies ?? This is parenting not the Iraqi war :)

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lol, thats what they are called...some of its common sense like praise and encouragment some of them are a bit more in depth and target specific behaviours....

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For a parent that is having a rough time or struggling with children, it can only be a good thing to know that sort of thing is available. Of course a parent has to be willing and it does become a grey area when teaching someone else how to be a parent, but it's good to hear that the grey areas haven't scared the organisers off. If only one parent is helped and hundreds offended then it's well worth it.

It's better than turning towards Channel 4 for 'Supernanny'. Urgh. Horrid woman.

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its also a chance for parents to build up a support network and make new friends.

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They are not teaching people to be perfect parents, just more confident and aware.

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I was going to say that too.
Every child is unique so it is hard to be a perfect parent.

This is where the extended family of years gone by came into its own.....aunties parents and grandparent used to compare notes, but even that wasn't perfect.
I think there are lots of pressures on parents today....the last one they really need is to be made to feel like they need lessons in bring up their children properly......I think if I had been confronted with an invite to something like that, I too would have felt affronted.

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What about those who feel to afraid to ask for help?This is a perfect opportunity for them.

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I can't understand being afraid to ask for help.......unless you are talking about practical help.
There are a whole load of places to get information from......I think that calling them Parenting Classes is a very negative way of dealing with something...if it were called a Parents Forum, or even Parents Club, then perhaps it would be seen in a better light.

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It will be the same as parents nights, the ones who need to go will not do so, and the parents that do not need to go will

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"Teaching how to be good parents......." it's very patronising isn't it? Now if the lady said it was a support group for parents and families, which is more what it sounds like, she might get more takers. As Margaret P rightly said the extended family, with all the support and help it often gave, isn't as prevalent these days. On top of that the general lack of discipline in the environment (not necessarily in the child's home) makes it more difficult for many parents to cope as well as they might.

The principle of the "classes" is sound, they could probably be beneficial and, not least, a way of getting to know other families. The advertising, however, needs to be a bit more inviting.

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Think your spot on there Willow, you don't see the parents of kids who are forever in trouble actually asking to be taught how to be better parents, they usually don't give a stuff, or or to occupied down the pub to care

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i think social services can refer parents to this course....... i think ussi is a social worker

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They could hold these classes in the Railway Pub 7 days a week:do-one::confused:

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Parenting classes aren't for bad parents, they are for parents who want to learn about new methods of caring for their children. Not everyone is a naturally fantastic parent with angelic children!

I think parenting classes are a good idea and can only bring parents and their children closer together so what is the harm?

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The phrase 'you can take a horse to water, but you cant make it drink', springs to mind

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While you may feel that parenting classes are a good idea......and they may well be, but you have to get the parents who need the help to recognise that they DO need help.
And I'm not sure that parenting classes will necessarily bring parents and children closer together, if the closeness does not exist in the first place, I fail to see how parenting classes will facilitate it.

I think the very name Parenting Class is a barrier to the uptake of such a scheme...it could be promoted in a much less condescending and patronising way....and for it to be effective, it would have to be.

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Ive just found the leaflet thatcame from school....its says "Parent survival course"

WHAT IS THE PARENT SURVIVAL COURSE

The courseis aimed atparents atcarers who care full time for children between the ages of 2 and 8. It is based on theidea thta being a parent is hard work and most parents find it difficult to deal with their childs behaviour atsome point. We also know that some children are more difficult to manage than others. The course aims to help parents feel more confident in dealing with their child behaviour, without looking to find blame

The course aims to

help you bring out the best behaviour in your children
Build upon your skills and techniques for dealing with difficult behaviour
Provide supoort to families
Increase your self-confidence.

there will be chances to talk about your own experiences and practice new ideas and meet other parents who are having similar experiences and share ideas with each other,

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If that is what it is about, then I think it needs to be well advertised, and promoted differently.
I don't think that approaching parents in a nursery/school playground is the way to go....especially if the person promoting calls them 'parenting classes'.

I still think that most parents are savvy enough to seek out help if they are in difficulty....the ones who don't do this are the ones who would not attend such a course anyway.

Where is the funding coming from for such a venture? Does anyone know?

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I think I know which nursery this was but I won't name them. One of my friends was telling me about these classes. They advise you how to speak to your children, how harsh tones can make children afraid, not to resort to shouting as after a while they children block you out, no smacking, they advise you on other ways of punishing bad behaviour.

I wouldn't pour scorn on anyone who attends these classes, they are only trying to do their best for their children.....however, like others have said, the people who really could do with these classes wouldn't dream of going as they never think they need help with parenting. :(

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I must admit I might agree with you for the first time ever :)

However some try harder than others at it and when they need help will usually go about trying to get it.

If they are the people who the course is aimed at then maybe it becomes easier to find help. Perhaps it should be a compulsory course for all parents then those who do really need help won't be missed out, of course that assumes you don't need to be sober or drug free to turn up :rolleyes:

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I know kids grow up quicker these days but does childhood end at 8 or do they become a lost cause if not trained by then :D

It seems to be badly worded.

Presumably if your'e a working parent you're doing a better job ( and yes I'm joking before anybody takes the huff :) )

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I think there are a lot of parents who give children material things but not much of their time....mostly because they are working and have little time to spare.
Children, in the main, benefit from activites that are undertaken as a family....this is one of the things that brings true closeness....children being made to feel that they are important.
But maybe my ideas are old fashioned and out moded...after all...what do I know it is 40 years since I did my parenting.....and I didn't feel like i was any good at it.

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Well, there is the old saying of the Jesuits -
"Give me the child until 7 years of age and I will give you the man."

I believe there's a lot of truth in that. Children learn more in their first few years of life than they ever will afterwards. That's the impressionable age when they learn language, behaviour, tastes, their natural intelligence is either promoted or devalued and their impression of the world and the way it reacts to them, and they to it, becomes fixed.

There are a few who aren't pointed the right way as infants and still manage, somehow, to turn out really well but they are the minority. Most of the little ones who are "dragged up" by dreadful, clueless parents grow up to be dreadful and clueless themselves.

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Have you not heard the saying...'Give me a child until he is 7 and I shall give you the man' ?

There's the answer. ;)

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West Ender, you are so right.
We depend very much for our own parenting skills on that which we experienced while growing up....and our parenting styles will closely mimic the one our parents used(in the main).......so children who had parents with few of these skills will have less ability to deal with the problems of parenting.

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My daughter will be well pleased at that prospect :D

I have 2 older stpechildren from a previous relationship. At 8 years old they were 2 of the most well behaved and polite children you could wish for. At 11 they went to secondary school, that put the Jesuit theory in to the trash bin I'm afraid :mad:

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SOLD!! when are you picking him up:D

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Hahaha...I think they need to be with someone from birth to 7 to form a character based on the parenting they've received so it's too late for your son. What's done is done. :D

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"Give me a child until he is 7 and I shall give you the man"
Yes we've all heard this. Maybe there is some truth in it. But that still depends on their upbringing.
How are the children from the programme that used that saying doing these days? Would be interesting to know. We must be due another update soon. Are we saying that we can't change a child after this?

Why just till 8?
Can vouch from having 6 kids meself, all of whom have been through the teenage years, the worst is yet to come, lol!

If you haven't got it in you, to be a decent parent, or ask for help if you are struggling, which comes naturally, I would say, if you want the best for your kids. Then, maybe, you would need help with these skills. But would this kind of parent ask for, or even want the help, as they are often much more concerned usually with themselves than their kids?

Agree to some extent with what Margaret P says about mimicking our own parents parenting skills, this is often the case for the worse, things going from bad to worse through generations of a family. these cases i would say cause a lot of problems in todays society. But not all of us whos own parents parenting skills leave a lot to be desired do this, they tend to go to the other extreme, wanting to make sure their kids have a better upbringing than they them selves got.

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no problem..... i will see you in march then :D

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Its not just aimed at bad parents though-its for any parent/guardian........

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Misskitty, I take your point, but I am of the opinion(like others on here) that the parents who need these skills will not recognise their need, and the parents who do take up the places will be the parents who DON'T really need the skill......the fact that they have come forward indicates that they have some sense of inadequacy.....which if most parents are honest, they feel, at times.

Another point I have been mulling over, is that, to be truly effective you would have to have a group of parents with varying parenting skills......this would be so that parents could all contribute something, and feel integrated into the group...... a group of all good parents, or all bad parents would probably learn nothing of any use from each other......but then maybe this is where the Social Worker comes in.

No......I'm sorry, if I were a modern day parent I would not avail myself of this 'service'.

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I also think the child's character is based on that of the parents. I am sorry but "do as I say not do as I do" does not work with kids.

Just have at look at some of the parents you see pushing the prams around town :(

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If parents start of as they mean to go on, as soon as their kids are born, then there maybe a chance of these kids being brought up right, its no use tying to insill values when a child gets to five or six, it has to start from square one, the first few years are the most important, afer that its a downward slope

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birth to 8 is classed as early years, the 'teachers' on the course are probably early years practitioners who are qualified to advise on children up to 8....... you would need different strategies for older children.

The course is run by catholic childrens rescue society which is a charity and funded by collections (st josephs penny)

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I really think St. Josephs Penny could be put to better use.
Encouraging families to do activities together would be a start.

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Catholic childrens rescue help catholic families that are having difficulties. They are also act as the child protection for catholic schools.

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I think it's fair to say most of us probably thought it was a social services/council led thing early in the thread. I don't know anything about the organisation running it,but I think it being run by a religious organisation may put more people off than actually encourage them.

Is anybody actually going on this course ? It would be interesting to see what they make of it.

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