Is Chivalry Dead
 

When I was growing up it was the done thing to treat women with respect and be very Chivalrous towards them, but since the advent of womens lib and burn the bra in the seventies, these things seem to be dying out. I would always walk on the outside, open a door for a lady and give up my seat on a bus or train and for my part still do. I'm sure I'm not the only one on here of my age group who think the same and I'm sure ladies in that age group would still like to be treated like that too. What do you think do the younger generations still treat women with respect or is a case of 'you wanted equality so open your own flaming doors':D

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

I never asked for equal opportunities!!!

I think this day it is pretty much dead, but saying that many of the "older" generation seem to have lost it too so dont think its all, the young 'uns to blame to be honest. My dad is still ike that, opening doors, walking by the road etc but now i dont think many men are. I would like it if they were but it doesnt happen much anymore

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

Richard always carries my shopping in from the car for me, he opens doors if he is in front of me wherever we are going, if i'm in front of him then i open them, he has given me his coat on several occasions when ive been cold but i very much doubt he would put his coat down over a puddle if we where to pass one :D

so NO chivalry isnt dead :D:D:D:D

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

no don't think its dead, faded a bit yes, but many still live by the old values.:)

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

Find that most men even young ones open doors for women, think there are still some polite men out there. Think it could be said for a lot of people young and old, men and women just don't have the same consideration for other people these days and don't bother to try and help in little ways(ie holding doors for people with prams or less mobile). Maybe their lifes are lived at top speed or maybe they just have no manners!!

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

Its not dead for me!
Frank is very chivalrous,he opens doors for me,carries shopping and always walks on the outside of the pavement nearest to the road when we are walking just in case a car careers off the road i will take the impact for you is what he says!!!
Bless him!
Don't think its dead no,see plenty of younger and older men opening doors and giving up their seats etc... and long may it continue!!

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

I don't think it's dead no

He opens the door when I stand there with arms crossed :D lol

He moves the car up so I don't have to walk on the grass in my shoes
(Cos he'd never hear the last of it! :) )

He'd carry the shopping, unless it's in a pink bag lol

It is there, he just needs reminding sometimes



They once thought that chivalry might be sexist.... implying that the woman was a lesser species and needed special treatment!

Was chivalry not thought up to give men a goal in life?
To please his woman? :p

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

Chivalry isn’t just about being courteous to women but being courteous to all people.

My adult kids will carry stuff from my car even if it is light enough for me to carry it.

I will open a door and hold it open for anyone regardless of age or sex. I do so because I cannot walk as fast as they do. Most people seem to be in an awful hurry these days so I prefer to step aside rather than risk being pushed aside. Far too many people, both men and women do not even glance at me let alone nod or smile a thank you and I can’t remember the last time that I actually heard someone say thank you. But that isn’t chivalry as such. That’s self preservation.

In my younger days I would do all the gentlemanly things for a lady because I was brought up to do so. Sadly there are few ladies around these days, just women - especially the younger ones.

Chivalry should be accepted with good grace and not demanded with crossed arms, a frown and a tapping foot.

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

I don't know if I am chivalrous, I don't ride a white horse in chain mail to my darling Rapunsel, but I do always try to have good manners and am described by some friends my age as old fashioned for acting so!

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

I hold the door open for other people (generally anoyone behind me regardless of who they are), despite struggling to do this with a double pram i still do it.

As for there being few ladies around these days, maybe you are right, but as for holding doors open, saying thanks etc, i do this as this is how i would like to be treated myself

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

Basically, yes Chivalry is if not dead, is very, very, poorly, there are a few of we males, (of various ages), that will open a door and there are also a few ladies, (of various ages), that appreciate and acknowledge the courtesy offered them.

Unfortunately we also have a breed of women that not only don't say thank you, but will go out of their way to humiliate anyone with manners and often in terms that would shame a docker!

I will not however stop opening a door or helping anyone of what used to be called the 'fairer sex', because the ones that do smile and say, "thank you", make it worth while for the world to have to put up with the coarse ignorant ones.

:)

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

I think the pendulum is swinging back. I was brought up to be chivalrous (meaning courteous to ladies) and have always tried to practice it. There was a time, following the burning of the bras years, when I got odd looks from young ladies if I opened doors for them etc. but I now find that I usually get a lovely smile and a very genuine "thank you"; the young ladies of today seem to be appreciating what are, to me, just good manners.

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

think ya may be right mate, thats what i find meself anyway.:)

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

Why can't we be chivalrous to everyone?

I open doors for men as well as other women. That would be nice wouldn't it, if I just let the door slam in their face because they're a bloke!

Come to think of it though, I think fellas could be nicer to each other. They don't buy each other gifts, or get each other cards for special occasions and I've seen men who don't know each other avoid eye contact at parties until football is at last mentioned.....

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

Well come on PQ football is the gospel remember, without it what would us lads talk about anyway:D

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

I agrre with the above that the rush, rush, rush, of today's society seems to be more about self-service then thoughts of others. I've noticed both nice kids and adults that I know walk right by someone struggling with a large bag of dog food, etc., trying to lift it into the trunk or backseat of their cars. Most often it is they are either on a cellphone (ugh) or deep in LA LA land.

I do make it a point when I'm out with my 15 year old son about holding doors and to be concious of folks who may need assistance. NOt being a "town guy" didn't realize the walking on the outside of the sidewalk bit!

Be Well, be kind eh?,

Brian

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

I make a real effort to be chivalrous... I know I am in the minority of my generation in doing so... I just femininity still existed, it isn't sexist for a man to hold a door open and carry bags, just as it isn't a sign of oppression for a woman to speak politely and dress conservatively. There is more empowerment in being a lady than there is walking around all but naked... god I'm the worst 18 year old lad ever aren't I...

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

If I understand that right = look like a lady should and you are more likely to inspire chivalry.
That sounds realistic - If you look like a slobbish slag do you really deserve respectful conduct?
I'll go along with that:)

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

Good on yer samf.:);)

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

So a person’s character, personality and behaviour don’t come into your equation?

That’s rather sad.

A nice new coat of paint won’t stop a fence from falling down if it is rotten.

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

I think chivalry is ok in small doses but I think it degrades men. Why should they feel the need to serve us? Why can't the woman hold the door open for once or carry her own shopping?

I like old fashioned ways of things but it gets silly when the man really insists that he MUST carry your shopping and it ends up wasting time :p

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

I'll second that.

Maggie Thatcher looks like a proper lady, how many of you would hold a door open for her :p

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Not this gentleman, she broke all the rules, a glass door 'accidentally', hitting her face?

Yes! A result!
:mad:

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

I wonder, if you let a door slam in someones face knowing they were there would it be seen as an assault? Is there a legal duty to hold a door open for someone in that sense?

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

I must disagree with you there Less Crypts don't have glass doors and I'm sure you would open that one.:dancedog:

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

You should watch Judge Judy :) it is assault

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

Judge Judy is an American programme isn't it?

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

Yes -I was being frivolous - but that woman uses common sense

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

With the women mentioned, at the time I'd have had a better life being banged up for assault compared with how I ended up having to bring up my family under her divisive administration!

Everybody in work was taught, (through propaganda) that anyone out of work was lazy and worthless, it didn't matter that whole estates were filled with unemployed, all in that area are to be considered a blight on the nation.


Oh look, here comes another recession who's willing to bet the same attitude will come forth no matter which party is in power?

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

Can I ask a door opening etiquette question please?

Imagine if you will, a corridor with a door at either end. A gentleman who is taking you to his office for a meeting opens the first door for you (the lady) to walk through. That puts you in front as you walk down the corridor. So, what do you do when you get to the next door? As the woman should I stand aside and allow him to open it or should I open it and just walk through ahead or should I (for the sake of equality) open it for him?

Genuine answers only please! I found myself in this situation once or twice and never know what to do.

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

i would think in that situation, open it fer him.:)

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

See... thats the thing with "chivalry"I would think it cheeky... if I was male... which... I'm not:D

I would think it cheeky... if you were stood there waiting
Expecting me to come and open it

So thats when it aint chivalry anymore... it's expected



And I think to be honest, it's all just pure MANNERS
Men and women should have these, young AND old
It costs nothing to open a door and the person in receipt to say thankyou
It is just politeness

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

As he his leading the way to his office then you should wait for him to lead the way :)

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

Speaking purely personally, I love a bit of old-fashioned chivalry from a gentleman. If he holds a door open for me I'll give him a smile and thank him and if he stands up when I come into the room he's the one I'll direct my greeting to.

It's not because I don't think I'm his equal. On the contrary I know damn well that, if anything, I'm his superior and he's acknowledging that by his deferrence. Women's Lib had some good points but, on the whole, I think it did women a great disservice because it made some women think they had to be on level terms with men. No way, Josephine, I'll stay above them, thanks. :D

It does no harm to work it the other way, either. I hate to see women who treat chivalrous gestures with contempt. To me, that's the height of ignorance and bad manners.

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

I would wait for him to catch up to open the door for me, due to the fact that he felt it was his role to open the first door for me. Wouldn't want to insult him by depriving him of this good deed a second time.
Maybe, if not a formal escort , would probably open the door for him, and remark lightheartedly ... "My turn".

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

Happened to me a lot when I was working. The true gent will, when you reach the door, make quite sure he gets there first and opens it for you. If he doesn't bother, assume he isn't very chivalrous and open it for him.

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

meself i'm with accylass on this, think she summed it up very well.:)

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

Open the bloody door yourself then....superior being :p

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

Who asked you, inferior creature? :D

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

Like it.............Cheeky Moo ;)

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I have visited many offices in strange buildings, being met in reception by men, and never once have they expected me to open the door myself to let them through. Just occasionally, if the door opened away from you, they would they say "After you" but held back the door as I walked through.

Best ones are those with automatic doors, then no decision to be made ... :D

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

thats a real "Fence Sitters" answer.:rofl38::rofl38::rofl38:

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

Thanks:)

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

As always:)

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

I think it impolite not to wait for your escort to catch up whilst in corridors of offices that are not yours. You need an invitation to carry on to the next stage if you understand what I mean.

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

Oh yeah I didn't mean to walk through and ignore the person taking you! lol

Of course that would be ignorant, but nothing to stop you standing there and opening the door for them:)

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

In my younger days I would invite the fairer sex to climb stairs first and I would follow behind......A quick glance would not go amiss........Now I am Knackered and my escort would have to help me up the stairs. :)

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

"Chivalry" had to have bonuses lol

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Been there...done it....Now't better than a good looking woman even at my age.....and I've got one.

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

So not only does it have bonuses, but it pays off too:D

Hope it doesn't wear off:)

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

Spuggie is very chivalrous - and sometimes it doesnt half bug me and i tell him off.... like im used to walking along - he has to walk on the outside - just in case a car goes through a puddle and splashes me - it has to splash him instead - but he also likes to hold my hand - but i like to keep my right hand free - now if we are walking on the right hand side of the road - its ok he grabs my left hand - but if we are on the left hand side - he grabs my right hand ...........

Also chivalry is not dead - dont know how many times ive had the door held open for me and i always say thank you and hold it open for the next one through as well. If im at the bus stop - i always let the older generation on first. I always say thanks - my mum told me that to say please and thank you doesnt cost nothing. I get off the bus and say thanks to the bus driver.

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

Well, like I said .. the fact that he opened the first door pleased him to do so, and probably would be embarassed if you opened the second door for him particularly, as so often happens, colleagues of your host are on the other side of the door. I wouldn't feel cheeky, just acknowledging respect for his manners.

I have shown many women into offices that I have worked in, and would always open the doors for them .. not just a man/woman thing in business situations, just a welcoming invitation to proceed.

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

I don't even do stairs these days Roy:rolleyes:

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

A real gentleman wouldn’t follow a lady up the stairs. He would either walk alongside or in front.

Similarly a real gentleman would lead down the stairs so that if she stumbles he would be there to catch her.

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

not much fun if she's a heifer!

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

What you trying t say ema, let the fat lass go first:D

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What would happen if she fell backwards going up? :)
A real Gentleman would feel a right prat when picking up the bits and bobs.

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

Are we talking chivalry or courtesy?

I think "chivalry" as such, to my mind, is more the domain of the older gentleman these days. I think today it should be more a matter of courtesy. Not just to us ladies, but to all fellow human beings. I certainly don't expect, even as a female of "a certain age" to have certain niceties bestowed on me just because I am such, but for it to be a matter of decent manners to one another. In any case other things more important than gender should be a priority, such as age or infirmity. :)

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

I appreciate the thoughts on saying "please and thankyou." Both friends and family mock me a bit for tending to say please somewhat too much.

It does kinda bother me when you hold the door for someone and they pass through without saying thankyou. I don't think I've ever had this happen with the older generation.

When I was in England, I was pretty surprised (not overly offended because I thought it might nbe cultural), when most Hindu people rarely said thank you. Over here I only notice that with some younger Black women.

Anyone else notice this type of behavior on a cultural basis?

Brian

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

Can't say I've noticed the cultural difference. Just Hindu? No other ethnic minority?
One thing that annoys me though, you hold the door for someone, then a whole parade of people keep passing through whilst you are stood there like a lemon!

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

Well, seeing as you have mentioned this ... have noticed how badly behaved their children are ... running about in shops and aisles in Supermarkets without being checked.

I thought the children in America though were extremely polite.

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Yes............Chinese............When you go into a carry out the usual greeting is: 'Wot yu wan?'
When you order is ready 'Flied Lice'...........No prease or fankyou at either end of the transaction. ;)

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

How do you know they were Hindu?

We don't have an Asian community here but there are a few Hindu and Muslim families in the area. There are 2 Hindu boys in Laura's class (they are cousins) and they are perfectly polite, well behaved children from very nice families. I don't think we should generalize.

As for restaurants - I don't think the waiters at any of the establishments I frequent, most often Italian, Turkish, Greek and English but sometimes Chinese, ever please-and-thank me for my order. Why would they?

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

My thoughts exactly!

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I apologize West Ender, just read back my thread. It was supposed to have been written "when I've been in London." So maybe that has more to do with it also eh?

I didn't notice the same attitudes the times I was in either Yorkshire or Lancashire.

Brian

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

think the obvious answer to this one is ......surely you should have known that you should have 5 paces behind him in the first place , then the question wouldn't have be necessary ;) ;)

Re: Is Chivalry Dead
 

Brian , obviously you have never taken the San Francisco number 30 bus which runs thru Chinatown :eek: :eek: