never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

apologies for stealing the words to an old country song , but , its your wedding night and you find out your new wife is as ugly as a pig , what do you do ......

Groom sues in-laws over ugly bride - Telegraph

before the femi-nazis jump all over me for being a sexist pig , I know there is a saying that there is someone for everyone somewhere , maybe the recently jailed mayor of Knott End mentioned in another thread might consider a religious conversion. :D :D

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

As Ms Palin said You put lipstick on a pig!

It,s still a pig!
The guy from Knott End would have been better off stealing a ski mask instead of a pair of knickers.

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

if the boobs were ok he coulda sorted that out with imac and lazer surgery :D

they wont they should be too busy tidying up :D

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

Well serves em right really, if they'd of banned the Burkha he would've seen what was on offer. :o :D

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

lol this arranged marrage was like buying off ebay.

you think your getting somthing good but you cant be sure until the wrappers off :D

http://www.vincentchow.net/wp-conten...baycheaper.jpg

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

Sounds like a reasonable judgement from the court .... no hands lopped off, no lashes ... and probably a hell of a lot cheaper than a US or Canadian divorce (I had two; makes me an eggspurt) ...

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

but , its your wedding night and you find out your new wife is as ugly as a pig , what do you do ......

What you should ave one before te big day, should have gone to Spec Savers:D

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

put her face down on the bed perhaps :confused:

use a lifeline and phone a friend

close your eyes and think of teh girl you really wanted to marry

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

Really do hope you aren't married :) comments like that will put you in a world of hurt ;) :D

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

just make sure you use the right name :eek: :eek:

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

And of course there's always the paper bag:D

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

But that doesn't work on the coyote ugly:eek: .... and nothing in the universe works on the double coyote ugly;)

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

Alcohol :thepint: Alcohol :thepint: oh & lots more Alcohol :thepint:, goes a long way to alleviating the problem, well at least as long as it's needed. :D :D :D

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

Why haven't we had any comment from the Ladies ?? :rolleyes: I'm sure you girls have had to put up with some "Pigs" of fella's in your time, so get your 2 pen'oth worth in & redress the balance, after all this is an equal opportunities forum, everyone's entitled to their say !! :D So come on Ladies get your digs in !! :oke2:

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

well, I think women are far more discerning about who they take to their boudoir(or they were in my day)....can't speak for the girls of today.
They seem to consume as much of the loony juice as the fellas.

My thought would be 'if it looks like something the dog sicked up, then leave it where it is....don't take it home with you'

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

Dave a fella does not wear a burka or mask etc, most women aint joined in, cos it will prove em either blind or stupid.:D p.s. im back.:D

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

Quite right Cashy, but what I meant is that us blokes can really turn it on when we're sniffin', all the chat, bags a krisma', flashin' the cash(by that I don't mean you wavin your 'erbert about neither) etc,etc, then when we've done the dastardly deed we're away on our toes afore the day breaks. :)

So what was meant was that they could name & shame the Scuzz buckets without any need to go into details, as they say "What's good for the Goose, is also good for the Gander" ;)

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

Naw it will prove them devious, with all them artificial aids to make look like sumat there not.
Same wit make up, its a poor soil as needs a lot of top dressing.


Retlaw.

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

not one to complain but wolke up with a girl from the former Top hat that lived up Ossie ..got the alarm with loadsa men "in black" bangin her door down for her to go to her dads funeral.. was invited but i was still drunk so did not intend cos I do respect the dead.

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

she didn't live just past the library did she?:D

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

don't think it was Cashy.. more like some gaff on outskirt it even had a back yard:D

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

Yup ... I never met a girl I can't drink pretty:mosher:

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

youtube.com/watch?v=_kRMMMC1gWo


short little ditto for ya :D

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

Lol very funny thread,well im getting on in years myself, I would rather have a pie and a pint than a man!

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

Me too, hon;):D

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

lol

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

i'd rather go to bed and sleep!

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

Well you must get up to it somewhere :rolleyes::p:D

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

Still drunk Mancie, don't seem like you mate:rolleyes:

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

mancie has been known to be t-total i think that particualr period of his life is refered to as childhood :D

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

shudda took yer own advice.:D

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

I presume that you mean before he was 4 accyman:D

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

Sorry but I left the pigs with old McDonald on the farm.

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

good job I was still drunk Jaysay.. otherwise the shock might have killed me. :D

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

managed to track the lady in question down mate and all she recals is leaving you alone with a kebab

are you sure that was garlic sauce ?

you were by your own admission very drunk :eek:

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

Know the feeling mate all to well:D

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

you wernt alone mate she was so racked with guilt she went straight to confession :D

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/m...r_1411415c.jpg

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

Now that is double coyote ugly for sure:eek:

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

Ya the hat doen't go with the guys tie at all Eric:D

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

Strangely enough, even though it is a bit off topic, there has been speculation, since the photograph was published, that Dear Margaret is considering crossing the Tiber and converting to Catholicism.

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

Well the old dear is getting on a bit & maybe she's planning her next career move, after all start at the bottom & work your way to the top, I think the devil might have a challenge on his hands !! :D

Re: never ben to bed with a pig , but woke up with plenty
 

satan dosnt give a toss what religion you are she need not bother :D