Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington (Post 930601)

We were so poor, all I got was a hole in my stocking. My dad told me that santa left lots of presents, but they all fell through the hole and broke.

Originally Posted by Gordon Booth (Post 930204)

At the end of the item the lady announcer said something like 'We apologise in advance for any offence the last item may have caused'.
Tell me I've got it wrong! Tell me I've misheard or misunderstood what she meant!

Originally Posted by Mancie (Post 930620)

Hang on.. why don't you tell us what you thought she meant and why anyone should say you are wrong? :confused:

Originally Posted by Gordon Booth (Post 930699)

Why don't you tell us why you attach me to some thread or post about a Muslim with two phones?
Assuming you can remember what you were rambling on about a day ago.

I was actually concerned that the PC brigade had struck again. You know who I mean-those people who think we shouldn't mention,or if we do we should apologise for mentioning, Christmas, Christianity,being English, the British Empire,schools where the pupils don't want to learn and the teachers can't teach etc,.etc,.
If you couldn't understand that you're either showing worrying signs of paranoia yourself or you're on something that stops you thinking clearly.
I still hope you have a Merry Christmas- it would be nice to think there was at least one day a year when you were cheerful and civil.

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington (Post 930606)

Oh, Eric.....you've gone all sensible.......I was looking forward to more of the pythonesque.
Kleenex are far more hygienic though. I can remember my grandma boiling up hankies on the gas stove...in a pan. My Grandad had been on the beer and was a bit intoxicated.
He came in and helped himself to some of the 'soup' that was boiling away(hankies) and a chunk of buttered bread......he told my grandma that the soup was 'short o' summat' and suggested she chucked another onion in.
I don't think she ever told him that he had had 'hankie broth'.

Originally Posted by Eric (Post 930602)

S'not funny:mad: I don't believe I actually typed that:eek::D I love the phrase "snot rags":D And I love being able to say it without getting a back-hander from my mom:alright:

By the way, folks over there don't use them any more, do they? I apologise profoundly to all those workers who lost their jobs because people would rather wipe their noses on disposable kleenex, than on soggy snot rags:rolleyes:

Originally Posted by mobertol (Post 930745)

PRICELESS, Margaret, ABSOLUTELY PRICELESS!!!:yelrotflm

Originally Posted by Gordon Booth (Post 930781)

Ah, Margaret and Eric, do you remember those lovely open fires you had at Christmas?

Trouble was a bit of Christmas wrapping paper and four or five Christmas cards didn't burn long, you soon had to put your coat back on.

Originally Posted by Eric (Post 930786)

What coat?:confused:

But I do remember writing notes to Santa, then holding them over the fire and watching them fly up the chimney ... and all the way to the North Pole:alright:

Originally Posted by Eric (Post 930786)

But I do remember writing notes to Santa, then holding them over the fire and watching them fly up the chimney ... and all the way to the North Pole:alright:

Originally Posted by Gordon Booth (Post 930801)

Yes, I did that but they told me if I sent it too early Father Christmas would be too busy to read it.
So I had to send it on Boxing Day then I might get something the NEXT Christmas.