Are manners a thing of the past?
 

Walking through Blackburn a couple of days ago, minding my own business I was rudely barged out of the way by a young (early twenties) woman who was busy laughing with her mates. She almost knocked me over and didn't seem to give a monkeys. I don't normally swear in the street but I found myself assaulting her thick brain with a few choice expletives. Is it me or does anyone else feel that manners and common decency are diminishing. And not just in young people either.

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I agree, though its mainly younger (not Kids) people, i reckon its the upbringing to blame.

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My thoughts entirely. I can't stand bad manners.

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Yes, courtesy and good manners are definitely dying out.
People seem to be disconnected from the world around them. More interested in what is going on with their mobile phone, or the music that they play loudly....so loudly that I can hear it despite the fact that they are wearing headphones.

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Unfortunately, the shoulder barge has been going on for years. I've even had a male Tesco employee do it to me several years ago with barely an apology.

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Mobiles are the MOST ill mannered invention EVER, the use of em that is.

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Yes, you are right Cashy.
What makes it worse is the music that I can hear through their headphones is just not to my taste..If it were then
Ethan's I would not mind so much.
I also hate the loud conversations that people seem to have on these devices....stuff that should remain private....personal stuff, stuff about people's finances.
If the bank were to make known what these chumps were discussing in a public place(on a bus) they would be asking for compensation.....and here they are discussing what they can pay and when on public transport. You would have to be very hard of hearing not to have heard every word.

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I don't think manners are taught much any more sadly. Not many children say 'Please' and 'Thank you.' these days. Parents cannot be bothered spending time teaching table manners either as most just sit with meals on their knees in front of the television not at a table. I am happy to say my own grandson is being brought up as I was and as I brought up my two children. He rarely forgets please and thank you and always asks if he may leave the table and says 'Thank you for my ....' which ever meal it is. I think speaking loudly on a mobile phone or playing loud music etc is widespread as most folk are just plain selfish with no regard for anyone but themselves. It is very very sad.

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I agree,kids learn their manners from their parents,If a child is ill mannered,being disrespectful or just plain cheeky,its the parents fault for not raising their kid correctly.
I was taught manners the old fashioned way,a clip round the lughole or a foot up the backside...obviously,we can't do that anymore :rolleyes:

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Really? Says who? A damn good thrashing doesn't hurt a bit! I could do it all day to the misbegotten little wretches with nary a twinge of the arm. Moderation is the answer, fifty lashes with the right, then 50 with the left, no problems. ;) :D

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Ah, son you learned the lessons so well!:D

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Our generation were used to getting a good slap or a clip round the ear if we misbehaved.Teachers certainly were not adverse to handing out a good hiding. I remember getting rapped on my legs with two rulers by Mr Hinchcliffe at Peel Park. Did I go crying to my parents ? No blooming fear , I would have got another and been told I must have been doing something wrong to warrant it.

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Do you think you would have turned into an ignorant, arrogant, bad-mannered person if you hadn't been routinely mugged by your parents? That it's their physical abuse that made you a good person?

I only ask because my dad's way of dealing with a situation which wasn't going according to his plan was to beat the child involved (I was one of four). My son has never been struck in his life, and he's a far better person now than I was at his age.

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There's a difference between being beaten and given a clip around the ear or a slap on the backside with a verbal explanation. Any one who beats their children should be locked up.

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I once slapped my son on the leg in frustration and immediately apologised for doing it.

You can teach your children manners by your example.

My experience showed me that children will learn their behaviour from you, providing you have gained their respect.

Violence, however 'mild', is not a respectable action.

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Your right there Margaret. Respect is the key word. My kids grew up to respect others and all three have a healthy dose of empathy. There was no major shouting or drama in their upbringing and we always showed them the respect they deserved as kids. Obviously, they had their naughty moments but slapping wasn't an option really. My youngest son laughs when he remembers 'the look' that his dad used to shoot at him. No words needed. Haha. I see people out and about on a regular basis screaming and shouting at their kids, venting their rage when the kids are just being kids. And mobiles! don't even get me started on that subject. The kids being dragged along with the parent wrapped up in a conversation on the phone. Why does everyone need to talk to someone when they're out shopping? Unless it's an urgent call I think it's pig ignorant. They want to try reconnecting with the world around them, they might have something decent to talk about then!

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There is a vast difference between violence and chastisement.
I grew up in a household where we were warned about our behaviour and told what the consequences of the continuation of that behaviour would be.

Yes we did get a slap from time to time. Did I feel violated, or abused if I got a slap?
No, because I had been told the consequences......all actions have consequences.....and i had brought those consequences on myself.
Children have to know that there are things that are unacceptable, things that they cannot do, there have to be barriers that they cannot cross. Rules.
This does not appear to be how children are raised these days. They do not appear to think that there are any rules that they need to obey.
Parents are not the friend to their child.....you cannot be a friend and maintain rules and discipline.
I know that this is a very un PP attitude, I make no apologies for it....it is my way, it is how I was brought up......I think that if more parents took the time to teach the consequence of life to,their children, then maybe, just maybe we would have a better society.

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As Westendlass has said, it is easy to see every single day, parents who while they may not be slapping their child, are violent towards them.
When in the post office recently I saw a mother with three small children......all of the under school age, put her face no more than a couple of inches away from her toddler sons face and then proceed to verbally abuse him.....with a long line of vile expletives.
Is this violence? Is this likely to cause the child lasting harm?
My answer would be that this is much more harmful than a slap on the legs.

Since parenting became a softly, softly thing.....do you think society has improved?
My parents were strict.....we knew exactly where the boundaries were.....and knew what would happen if we crossed these boundaries.
My mother once dragged me to the police station for taking sixpence out of her purse.
She asked for me to be put into a cell for half an hour(I was let out after a very long ten minutes)......was she wrong to do that?
Do you think I learned my lesson......of course I did. It stays in my memory....but I am not damaged by it because I know that I brought it on myself.

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Utter rubbish, my son may well have been dead now if i hadn't slapped his legs, after many times trying to explain.:(

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There were seven children in our family and without rules and discipline there would have been chaos.
We all knew what was expected of us.....and my father kept order like a sergeant major.
We knew that what he did, he did for a reason. He didn't tell every night ' i love you' he demonstrated it daily by making sure that we were safe, cared for and fed(which was no mean feat).
I would not have had it any other way. It prepared me for life very well.
I brought my own daughter up along similar lines.....and she is bringing up her children in the same vein.
To be a good parent, you have to have had good parents.
Parents who demonstrate their moral code, their ethics and their beliefs.
This does not mean that you are forced to choose the same things for yourself, but you cannot differentiate good from bad if you do not know what 'good' is.
Manners are instilled before a child goes to school.....they are maintained by good example after that.

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Not necessarily - but I'm sure it helps.

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I went into 4 shops yesterday and bought something in each but only in 1 did I hear a please or thank you by the shop assistant. Last month in Currys I spent several hundred £s and I never heard a please or thank you but I was told by the salesman to press the green button on the panel by the door on my way out to signify that I was very satisfied with the service I received.

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Um...the flip side of this for me is I have held doors open for women most of my decades and probably 10% of the time I come across one who does not like a man holding a door open for them, even had one tell me 'I don't need a man to help me' as they stomp off jabbering. Funny owd world....

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I woulda said, fair enough ignorant lesbo.:D

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Manners may not be in abundance ...... but it appears chivalry is flourishing. :D

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That means that 90% valued your gentlemanly behaviour.
I always thank anyone who hold a door open for me regardless of their age or gender...because it is polite and courteous to do so, it is how i was brought up.
Please do not stop doing this just because there are some churlish people in the world...the world is a richer place when people do these small acts of kindness.

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Violence is the sign language of the illiterate.

The most ill-mannered people I seem to come across are cyclists and old biddies with shopping trolleys.

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Isn't mild violence an oxymoron?
To talk of the chastisement of your child as violence is wrong.
If you do not check your child when he/ she does something which is wrong, something which is dangerous, you are not a responsible parent....and you are certainly not setting your child up for life in the real world.

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I don't know if it counts as manners but I saw the most fantastic behaviour exhibited outside my place of work yesterday. I work in a building on the corner of Barbara Castle Way and Preston New Rd, it's a crazy busy junction all day, with 3 sets of traffic lights for the pedestrian and 2 traffic islands.
An elderly Caucasian gent had broken down on his mobility scooter at the opposite side of the road, he was frail and unsteady on his feet whilst trying to get his scooter going, with no luck. Just as the lads in the office were about to go to his aid a young Asian fella was there, he looked very streetwise, bandana and muscle vest, he took the old guy's arm and whilst guiding him across the road he pushed the scooter too! It was obviously extremely hard work, dunno if the brakes were seized, but the young man was panting when he got to the traffic island. Then a young Asian woman ran across and helped him with the old fella, both of them pushing the scooter and making sure the old fella got to the health centre. I must add that whilst they were slowly crossing the road some ignorant git beeped his horn even though it was obvious what was going on, the young man flicked him the bird and rightly so!
It was a wonderful thing to see and full credit to the 2 of them for helping!:dancedog::dancedog::dancedog:

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I have to say linds, it dont surprise me, in my experience Asians in general are far more family orientated than we are, may upset a few, but thats how i see it.

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I think that is a very valid point, there were plenty of well built fellas walking past who didn't help or even stop to ask if their help was needed.

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I reckon a lot of countries are a lot more family oriented than us. When my missus arrived in this country, she couldn't get her head round the concept of old folks' homes, as elderly mums and dads and even uncles and aunties are looked after as part of the family in her "third world" country. Nobody would dream of sending them off to "care homes".

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I must be getting an old git like cashy. Flicked him a what?

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The middle finger! x