This really hurts
 

We had Milly in the family for 20 years. The lady 7 years since my mother died she has been my companion.

Mid week she vanished and we were sure she had wandered off on her own terms to pass away.

Today I had a knock on the door it was a neighbour that found Milly hiding in her shed/bin cupboad. Milly was very weak and shivering. I got her to drink water and kept her warm and kept her company until she passed away. We were looking at each other and I told her that everything was going to be ok she reached a paw out to me in the moments leading up to her passing somewhat peacefully.

The thought of her being in there for 2 and a half days may haunt me for a while but I am happy we got to say goodbye. It's better than not knowing.

A truly sad day. But she had a good life living 20 years

I am just finding it really hard not to keep going back to the heartbreaking moment I lifted her out of that bin cupboard/shed

This is the last photo of us together. https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/202...685e53792d.jpg

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Re: This really hurts
 

Rob, so sorry for your loss.
She was never just a cat….and she had 20 years of love from you….she gave you her love for 20years….
This is for you…

If there’s a kitty heaven,
As I am sure there must be….
Millie will be there now.
In the shade of a sardine tree.
Be comforted to know that,
Her heart belongs to you….
She left her paw prints on your life
It’s what our loved kitties do.

Re: This really hurts
 

When I was 12 we had an elderly cat that was semi feral and she disappeared. My mother told me she went to find a place where she could be at peace away from her home.

Apparently this is something that cats do.

I did the calculation and Milly must've been In that shed/bin cupboard for 4-5 days Perhaps coincidence or something else brought us back together for her final hours.

I am finding it hard not to think about that moment I picked up her frail body out of that shed

That maybe I could've done more.

My girlfriend says I should focus on her reaching out and touching me in her final moments and all the good times.

We were looking into each others eyes when she seemed to make a coughing sound and it was like life left her body at that moment.

I was just telling her it was ok and everything will be fine if she goes.

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Re: This really hurts
 

Rob, when someone we love(and I include pets in that ‘someone’) it is natural to go over and over things wondering if we could have changed the outcome.
Invariably, nothing we could have done would have changed things..
She had 20 years in the heart of a family…she was fed, kept warm and loved.
What more could you have given her.

Rob, enjoy the memories of her and if in the months to come, you find that kitty shaped hole needs filling…then adopt a homeless cat…it would be the best honour you could bestow on Millie.

Re: This really hurts
 

PS…you know I am a cat lover…and I would have a houseful if I could.

Re: This really hurts
 

My thoughts are with you. Our elderly ladies are 22 and 18 and it's going to hurt like mad when we lose them. The last cat to die in our family did so whilst my wife and I were apart. My wife had got a new job and I was tidying things up before moving to join her. We spoke to each other on the phone each night and during one of the phone calls Mewsli wandered into the room, miaowed curled up under a chair and died. I'm sure she wanted us both to be with her. Cats know so much more than they tell us. Take care of yourself and your girlfriend.

Re: This really hurts
 

Restless Rob,
Know how you must be feeling but, if your cat lived for 20 years, neither you nor the cat should have any regrets.
We had five cats in 25 years living in Hampshire and the best thing we did whenever we lost one was immediately to ‘rescue’ another little wretched soul from one of the local charities.
You’ll never forget Milly but you will soon love and be loved by another deserving creature.

Re: This really hurts
 

Thanks :)

We have 3 over here at my girlfriends. So I have plenty of kitties in my life. We had two but new years day last year my girlfriends best friend and neighbour died to the flu and we gained a third (the one in the house)

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/202...7d68d264c6.jpghttps://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/202...b7b0664d0b.jpghttps://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/202...6ef14a3439.jpg

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Re: This really hurts
 

My favourite pic of my beautiful millyhttps://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/202...9e0f71d621.jpg

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Re: This really hurts
 

Rob, they are all beautiful cats and I can see why that is your favourite picture.

Re: This really hurts
 

Restless what a loving and caring life your cat had. Twenty years of it. Pets become such an important part of a person’s life, a family member. As sad as losing her has been remember she had a good life, the best, and you have had years of enjoying her as she had of enjoying you.

Our Labrador was almost fifteen when she sadly left us. Is buried next to the lemon tree, wrapped in a blanket. She was such an integral part of our lives, I used to tell her to go outside and pretend she was a dog because I’m sure she thought she was one of the children. Went on every one of our camping trips with us. Even though it’s a long time since she left us we still think of her, so like anyone who has lost a much-loved pet I do know how you feel.

Re: This really hurts
 

I couldn't say anything earlier but I can now.

Our Luna had a massive cancerous growth on here that took her from us.

While the pain may subside the memories will remain for as long as we can remember, after then we have the photo's to help remember her.

I'm sure you will be the same, your first photo shows her where Milly was at home - in your arms.
Although this is where we differ, Luna would rather remove our arms than snuggle up in them :)