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chav1 24-02-2005 00:17

Wise Sayings..?
 
anyone got any wise words of wisdom,,

i will start the ball rolling..:)


dont argue with an idiot

he will bring you down to his level and beat you on experiece

slinky 24-02-2005 00:18

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
My mum always said '' if you fall off that wall and break your leg don't come running to me''

WHAT'S THAT ALL ABOUT!!!!!!!

Doug 24-02-2005 00:21

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
I've got one:

Don't p*** off Slinky or she'll start your balls rolling.

slinky 24-02-2005 00:21

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Doug
I've got one:

Don't p*** off Slinky or she'll start your balls rolling.

oh:eek: i'm not that bad (am I??)

simon 24-02-2005 00:22

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Don't let her get you in a corner.........:(

chav1 24-02-2005 00:24

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Doug
I've got one:

Don't p*** off Slinky or she'll start your balls rolling.

she aint touching my marbles especialy my dobbers :eek:

rockrabbit 24-02-2005 00:24

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
catch a weasel asleep pee in its ear

my old boss used to keep saying this to me still dont get what he meant

slinky 24-02-2005 00:26

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by rockrabbit
catch a weasel asleep pee in its ear

my old boss used to keep saying this to me still dont get what he meant

LMAO nice to see you rabbit!!!! what an entrance

rockrabbit 24-02-2005 00:42

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by slinky
LMAO nice to see you rabbit!!!! what an entrance

lol ive only just woke up been asleep since i finished work missed all the footy

WillowTheWhisp 24-02-2005 07:09

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Never fight with a pig. You'll both end up covered in mud but the pig will enjoy it.



My Gran used to say that exact same thing about not running to her for sympathy if I fell off the wall and broke my leg!

Sara 24-02-2005 08:10

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Don't boil your cabbages twice

Sara 24-02-2005 08:11

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
If you can't remember what you were saying to finish the sentence..........

must have been a lie to start with

WillowTheWhisp 24-02-2005 08:19

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Half the time I can't even remember what I'm saying to start the sentence!

Acrylic-bob 24-02-2005 08:56

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Don't teach your granny to suck eggs. A. To my certain knowledge my grandmother never expressed a desire to learn how to suck eggs. B. Since I do not know how to suck eggs, how can I be expected to tutor my grandmother in this skill, assuming that she had expressed the desire to aquire it, which, as I said above, she did not.

slinky 24-02-2005 09:01

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Acrylic-bob
Don't teach your granny to suck eggs. A. To my certain knowledge my grandmother never expressed a derire to learn how to suck eggs. B. Since I do not know how to suck eggs, how can I be expected to tutor my grandmother in this skill, assuming that she had expressed the desire to aquire it, which, as I said above, she did not.

This is true!!! where did that stupid saying come from anyway!!!

stanerlee 24-02-2005 09:02

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
on particularly apt for this time of year.
DON'T EAT YELLOW SNOW

Acrylic-bob 24-02-2005 09:02

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
One of the things that my grandmother used to taunt me with when I was sulking - I sulked a lot as a child - was "Oooo, look at that lip. You could hang a jug on it!" The mental image of walking around with a blue and white striped jug hanging off my face always cheered me up and made me laugh. How do grandmothers always know the right thing to say?

slinky 24-02-2005 09:05

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Acrylic-bob
One of the things that my grandmother used to taunt me with when I was sulking - I sulked a lot as a child - was "Oooo, look at that lip. You could hang a jug on it!" The mental image of walking around with a blue and white striped jug hanging off my face always cheered me up and made me laugh. How do grandmothers always know the right thing to say?

THAT'S TRUE!!!lmao my mum used to always say ''look at the lip, if a bus comes it will park on that lip''
The other one is ''if the wind changes your face will stick like that'' that used to terrify the living daylights out of me.

Tinkerbelle 24-02-2005 11:20

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Another one of our Mum's sayings when we were sulking was "Put your bl**dy face straight"

:confused: She still has never told us how this is done ?

stanerlee 24-02-2005 11:26

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
what about "if the wind changes direction you're face will stay like that"?
thanks mum, look at me now.

Acrylic-bob 24-02-2005 11:29

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Another one that always got me thinking was "do you want a bloody good hooker?"(Drop the aspirant and flatten the vowels)
My reply was always no, but I often wondered what the response would have been had I said "Yes please"

stanerlee 24-02-2005 11:34

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
[QUOTE]Another one that always got me thinking was "do you want a bloody good hooker?"(Drop the aspirant and flatten the vowels)
My reply was always no, but I often wondered what the response would have been had I said "Yes please"
absolute quality i can't type for laughing. where would you get one from anyway? more to the point i'd be worried if my mum knew the answer.

Tinkerbelle 24-02-2005 11:36

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Acrylic-bob
My reply was always no, but I often wondered what the response would have been had I said "Yes please"

I agree with this lol! When the teachers used to say " do you want a detention?" Wonder if they would have still given me det if i'd have said "well yes please Sir i've nothing better to do on Wednesday afternoon"???

stanerlee 24-02-2005 11:42

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
tinks, iam a bit concerned that you've missed bob's humour.
a hooker is another name for prostitue. that's why i laughed so much

Tinkerbelle 24-02-2005 11:44

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by stanerlee
tinks, iam a bit concerned that you've missed bob's humour.
a hooker is another name for prostitue. that's why i laughed so much

No i got it but i thought this time i might not reply anything with any sexual reference which is unusual for me !!

Acrylic-bob 24-02-2005 11:45

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Ahh, days of innocence long gone.

stanerlee 24-02-2005 11:49

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
:D i don't think i ever had any innocence. keep em' coming bob.

Acrylic-bob 24-02-2005 11:51

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
What about "People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones". Do you know anyone who lives in a glass house? I don't. And why should such an injunction against aggressive anti-social behaviour only apply to them and not to the rest of us?

stanerlee 24-02-2005 11:54

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
what about "too many cooks spoil the broth" then we have "many hands make light work"
it's all very confusing and conterdictory.

Acrylic-bob 24-02-2005 11:54

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Or there is my all time favourite. This one from my grandad "Tha can allus trust a man as tucks his shirt inside his underpants." I'm not even going to attempt to deconstruct that one!

stanerlee 24-02-2005 11:57

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
[QUOTE]"Tha can allus trust a man as tucks his shirt inside his underpants."
it's probably an olde worlde saying with hidden sexual reference. mine always hangs out

Acrylic-bob 24-02-2005 12:06

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
I've never tucked my shirt inside my underpants, the very idea is anathema to me. Does this mean I am not to be trusted? This has always seemed a little arbitrary and unfair somehow.

What do we make of the assertion that "The best way to a mans heart is through his stomach", when Lily Savage claims, contrarily, that "The best way to a mans heart is through his back with a bloody big axe!"?

Alice 24-02-2005 12:22

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
"Go on have a good cry...you'll pee less"

lindsay ormerod 24-02-2005 12:25

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
"there's nowt as queer as folk"

Well I think giraffes and aardvarks are very strange!

Acrylic-bob 24-02-2005 12:32

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
But not as strange as the platypus. Is there any evidence that Giraffe's and Aardvarks indulge in unnatural sexual practices? And if there is, what would the possible outcome look like?

Acrylic-bob 24-02-2005 12:39

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Peter Britcliffe????

vorlon24 24-02-2005 13:47

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Acrylic-bob
But not as strange as the platypus. Is there any evidence that Giraffe's and Aardvarks indulge in unnatural sexual practices? And if there is, what would the possible outcome look like?

A giravark?

There is a zeedonk at Colchester Zoo, so I guess anything is possible...

pendy 24-02-2005 13:48

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
I could never work out "I want never gets" and "Them as don't ask, don't want". Get out of that one!

Also Granny Morris had a wonderful expression for cross-eyes - "Skenning like a basket of whelps". God knows where that came from.

vorlon24 24-02-2005 13:49

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
These sayings just reinforce our belief in the south that northerners are weird!!! :p ;)

pendy 24-02-2005 13:51

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Oh come on, Vorlon, I can honestly claim to have heard two ladies from Walworf' on the bus talking:

WL1: Did he lose his legs then?
WL2: Yes. Same two as Douglas Bader.

Weird or what?

vorlon24 24-02-2005 13:56

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
That is weird indeed.

Where was this?

pendy 24-02-2005 14:00

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Dahn the Walworf Road, goin' dahn to Peckham .....

Will now collect all the odd sayings I have heard down here, and we Northerners can laugh at them.

Anyone who eats jellied eels and that horrible liquor stuff (green gravy) has to be weird!

Acrylic-bob 24-02-2005 14:01

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by pendy
Also Granny Morris had a wonderful expression for cross-eyes - "Skenning like a basket of whelps". God knows where that came from.

It is actually whelks, you know, marine mollusc, like a large snail, not puppies.

vorlon24 24-02-2005 14:11

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by pendy
Dahn the Walworf Road, goin' dahn to Peckham .....

Will now collect all the odd sayings I have heard down here, and we Northerners can laugh at them.

Anyone who eats jellied eels and that horrible liquor stuff (green gravy) has to be weird!

I live further south than that (yes, you can go further south than London!!! ;) )

I never really fancied jellied eels, and I have never heard of the other thing you mentioned

WillowTheWhisp 24-02-2005 14:13

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
I'm wondering what that man was doing with Douglas Bader's legs.

How about "Never fly a kite in a thunderstorm" ? Oh yes grannie, it's chucking it down out there I think I'll go and fly my kite.

chav1 24-02-2005 14:17

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
dont trust anything that bleeds for a week and dosnt die :eek:

Sara 24-02-2005 14:31

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
I usually tell the kids at school - Don't write on your hands, you'll get warts.

slinky 24-02-2005 14:33

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by chav1
dont trust anything that bleeds for a week and dosnt die :eek:

DEAR DEAR CHAV!!! (but true):nono8:

Sara 24-02-2005 14:33

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by pendy
Anyone who eats jellied eels and that horrible liquor stuff (green gravy) has to be weird!

What's green gravy?

Margaret Pilkington 24-02-2005 21:03

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Don't get into a pee-ing contest with a skunk! for obvious reasons.

WillowTheWhisp 24-02-2005 21:07

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sara
What's green gravy?

eel juice ..............

andrewb 24-02-2005 21:09

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
If knowledge can create problems it is not through ignorence that we can solve them. ;)
Ok so it's not exactly a wise saying, it's a wise quote.. which could be interpreted as a saying.. ! :p

Margaret Pilkington 24-02-2005 21:37

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Green gravy?????? Eel Juice.......do people really eat that kind of stuff?????
That's feral!

WillowTheWhisp 24-02-2005 22:15

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
It's a southern thing Margaret.

West Ender 24-02-2005 22:35

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Hey, I LIKE jellied eels (green juice an' all) but then, I like most food.

I like "Skens like a basket of whelps" too. Have you ever really looked at a puppy when its eyes have just opened? Incidentally, I've never met anyone outside Lancashire who knows what "sken" means.

WillowTheWhisp 24-02-2005 22:41

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
I was skennin' this morning trying to thread a needle before I'd woken up properly!

chav1 24-02-2005 23:32

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
man who walk with hand in pocket feel coky all day long

slinky 24-02-2005 23:40

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Don't get caught with your pants down (whats that all about as if!!!)

rockrabbit 24-02-2005 23:47

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
im not happy about thsi one but as im back in a happy mood

men are like roses watch out for the pricks


rockrabbit 24-02-2005 23:48

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
if you want sympathy you find it in the dictionary between s*** and syphillis

slinky 24-02-2005 23:49

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by rockrabbit
im not happy about thsi one but as im back in a happy mood

men are like roses watch out for the pricks

Watch out for them?? I usually walk right into them!!

chav1 24-02-2005 23:51

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by slinky
Watch out for them?? I usually walk right into them!!

your either spending too much time in the florists or too much time in anne summers shops then

Doug 24-02-2005 23:52

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by slinky
Watch out for them?? I usually walk right into them!!

I'm not to sure what you mean there? :p

Wise man say: If you p*ss into to the wind; expect showers......

rockrabbit 24-02-2005 23:52

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by slinky
Watch out for them?? I usually walk right into them!!

so we have met before then lol

Doug 24-02-2005 23:53

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Life is like a bed of Roses; its full of pricks....

slinky 24-02-2005 23:58

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by rockrabbit
so we have met before then lol

LOL must have done!!! hehehe;)

Doug 24-02-2005 23:58

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by slinky
Watch out for them?? I usually walk right into them!!

Cat got your thong slinky :p

slinky 24-02-2005 23:59

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Doug
Cat got your thong slinky :p

yeah it stood on the string and gave me a wedgy!!!!!!! OUCH.............

Doug 25-02-2005 00:02

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by slinky
yeah it stood on the string and gave me a wedgy!!!!!!! OUCH.............

Oh dear, dear. How did it manage that then? :rolleyes:

mani 25-02-2005 02:50

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
the force will be with you... Always...

Do not come between the Nazgul and his prey.

A communications disruption could mean only one thing: invasion

Clear your mind must be, if you are to discover the real villains behind this plot.

Doug 25-02-2005 08:13

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Life’s a Journey, Don’t forget your ticket.

vorlon24 25-02-2005 10:13

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Virginity like a bubble; one prick, all gone

Sara 25-02-2005 14:59

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by WillowTheWhisp
eel juice ..............

DISGUSTING

Margaret Pilkington 25-02-2005 20:17

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
I once had smoked eel in a swiss restaurant (the lighting was dim and I couldn't tell what it was.....thought it was some kind of sausage)......it was absolutely GROSS and it took about 10 sessions of teeth cleaning to get rid of the taste......and I didn't actually eat it. Now I let hubby try unidentified food items to make sure I don't eat things that I don't like.

garinda 25-02-2005 20:51

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
That made me laugh so much, beware of dimally lit Swiss restaurants!
Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Margaret Pilkington 25-02-2005 20:56

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
I made a similar mistake in Spain.....I saw what I thought were battered onion rings and got myself a whole heap of the things......the first one I tried was like a fishy elastic band.....it was calamares.....yeuk. Hubby came to my rescue and ate them.

Margaret Pilkington 25-02-2005 20:58

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
He will eat anything.....crocodile, Kangaroo,emu.....he has tried them all.
Me, I like things that I can recognise.......I am not a bit adventurous.
I would rather be shot than poisoned!

WillowTheWhisp 25-02-2005 21:35

Re: Wise Sayings..?
 
I like to be adventurous. There's an interesting restaurant we came across last time we were down in Bedfordshire and I'm looking forward to trying something new when we go again.


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