Wise Sayings..?
 

anyone got any wise words of wisdom,,

i will start the ball rolling..:)


dont argue with an idiot

he will bring you down to his level and beat you on experiece

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My mum always said '' if you fall off that wall and break your leg don't come running to me''

WHAT'S THAT ALL ABOUT!!!!!!!

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I've got one:

Don't p*** off Slinky or she'll start your balls rolling.

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oh:eek: i'm not that bad (am I??)

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Don't let her get you in a corner.........:(

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she aint touching my marbles especialy my dobbers :eek:

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catch a weasel asleep pee in its ear

my old boss used to keep saying this to me still dont get what he meant

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LMAO nice to see you rabbit!!!! what an entrance

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Never fight with a pig. You'll both end up covered in mud but the pig will enjoy it.



My Gran used to say that exact same thing about not running to her for sympathy if I fell off the wall and broke my leg!

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Don't boil your cabbages twice

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If you can't remember what you were saying to finish the sentence..........

must have been a lie to start with

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Don't teach your granny to suck eggs. A. To my certain knowledge my grandmother never expressed a desire to learn how to suck eggs. B. Since I do not know how to suck eggs, how can I be expected to tutor my grandmother in this skill, assuming that she had expressed the desire to aquire it, which, as I said above, she did not.

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This is true!!! where did that stupid saying come from anyway!!!

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on particularly apt for this time of year.
DON'T EAT YELLOW SNOW

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One of the things that my grandmother used to taunt me with when I was sulking - I sulked a lot as a child - was "Oooo, look at that lip. You could hang a jug on it!" The mental image of walking around with a blue and white striped jug hanging off my face always cheered me up and made me laugh. How do grandmothers always know the right thing to say?

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THAT'S TRUE!!!lmao my mum used to always say ''look at the lip, if a bus comes it will park on that lip''
The other one is ''if the wind changes your face will stick like that'' that used to terrify the living daylights out of me.

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Another one of our Mum's sayings when we were sulking was "Put your bl**dy face straight"

:confused: She still has never told us how this is done ?

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what about "if the wind changes direction you're face will stay like that"?
thanks mum, look at me now.

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Another one that always got me thinking was "do you want a bloody good hooker?"(Drop the aspirant and flatten the vowels)
My reply was always no, but I often wondered what the response would have been had I said "Yes please"

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[QUOTE]Another one that always got me thinking was "do you want a bloody good hooker?"(Drop the aspirant and flatten the vowels)
My reply was always no, but I often wondered what the response would have been had I said "Yes please"
absolute quality i can't type for laughing. where would you get one from anyway? more to the point i'd be worried if my mum knew the answer.

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I agree with this lol! When the teachers used to say " do you want a detention?" Wonder if they would have still given me det if i'd have said "well yes please Sir i've nothing better to do on Wednesday afternoon"???

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tinks, iam a bit concerned that you've missed bob's humour.
a hooker is another name for prostitue. that's why i laughed so much

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No i got it but i thought this time i might not reply anything with any sexual reference which is unusual for me !!

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Ahh, days of innocence long gone.

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:D i don't think i ever had any innocence. keep em' coming bob.

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What about "People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones". Do you know anyone who lives in a glass house? I don't. And why should such an injunction against aggressive anti-social behaviour only apply to them and not to the rest of us?

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what about "too many cooks spoil the broth" then we have "many hands make light work"
it's all very confusing and conterdictory.

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Or there is my all time favourite. This one from my grandad "Tha can allus trust a man as tucks his shirt inside his underpants." I'm not even going to attempt to deconstruct that one!

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[QUOTE]"Tha can allus trust a man as tucks his shirt inside his underpants."
it's probably an olde worlde saying with hidden sexual reference. mine always hangs out

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I've never tucked my shirt inside my underpants, the very idea is anathema to me. Does this mean I am not to be trusted? This has always seemed a little arbitrary and unfair somehow.

What do we make of the assertion that "The best way to a mans heart is through his stomach", when Lily Savage claims, contrarily, that "The best way to a mans heart is through his back with a bloody big axe!"?

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"Go on have a good cry...you'll pee less"

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"there's nowt as queer as folk"

Well I think giraffes and aardvarks are very strange!

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But not as strange as the platypus. Is there any evidence that Giraffe's and Aardvarks indulge in unnatural sexual practices? And if there is, what would the possible outcome look like?

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Peter Britcliffe????

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A giravark?

There is a zeedonk at Colchester Zoo, so I guess anything is possible...

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I could never work out "I want never gets" and "Them as don't ask, don't want". Get out of that one!

Also Granny Morris had a wonderful expression for cross-eyes - "Skenning like a basket of whelps". God knows where that came from.

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These sayings just reinforce our belief in the south that northerners are weird!!! :p ;)

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Oh come on, Vorlon, I can honestly claim to have heard two ladies from Walworf' on the bus talking:

WL1: Did he lose his legs then?
WL2: Yes. Same two as Douglas Bader.

Weird or what?

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That is weird indeed.

Where was this?

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Dahn the Walworf Road, goin' dahn to Peckham .....

Will now collect all the odd sayings I have heard down here, and we Northerners can laugh at them.

Anyone who eats jellied eels and that horrible liquor stuff (green gravy) has to be weird!

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It is actually whelks, you know, marine mollusc, like a large snail, not puppies.

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I live further south than that (yes, you can go further south than London!!! ;) )

I never really fancied jellied eels, and I have never heard of the other thing you mentioned

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I'm wondering what that man was doing with Douglas Bader's legs.

How about "Never fly a kite in a thunderstorm" ? Oh yes grannie, it's chucking it down out there I think I'll go and fly my kite.

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dont trust anything that bleeds for a week and dosnt die :eek:

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I usually tell the kids at school - Don't write on your hands, you'll get warts.

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DEAR DEAR CHAV!!! (but true):nono8:

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What's green gravy?

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Don't get into a pee-ing contest with a skunk! for obvious reasons.

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If knowledge can create problems it is not through ignorence that we can solve them. ;)
Ok so it's not exactly a wise saying, it's a wise quote.. which could be interpreted as a saying.. ! :p

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Green gravy?????? Eel Juice.......do people really eat that kind of stuff?????
That's feral!

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Hey, I LIKE jellied eels (green juice an' all) but then, I like most food.

I like "Skens like a basket of whelps" too. Have you ever really looked at a puppy when its eyes have just opened? Incidentally, I've never met anyone outside Lancashire who knows what "sken" means.

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man who walk with hand in pocket feel coky all day long

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Don't get caught with your pants down (whats that all about as if!!!)

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im not happy about thsi one but as im back in a happy mood

men are like roses watch out for the pricks

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Watch out for them?? I usually walk right into them!!

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your either spending too much time in the florists or too much time in anne summers shops then

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I'm not to sure what you mean there? :p

Wise man say: If you p*ss into to the wind; expect showers......

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Life is like a bed of Roses; its full of pricks....

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LOL must have done!!! hehehe;)

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Cat got your thong slinky :p

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yeah it stood on the string and gave me a wedgy!!!!!!! OUCH.............

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Oh dear, dear. How did it manage that then? :rolleyes:

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the force will be with you... Always...

Do not come between the Nazgul and his prey.

A communications disruption could mean only one thing: invasion

Clear your mind must be, if you are to discover the real villains behind this plot.

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Life’s a Journey, Don’t forget your ticket.

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Virginity like a bubble; one prick, all gone

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DISGUSTING

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I once had smoked eel in a swiss restaurant (the lighting was dim and I couldn't tell what it was.....thought it was some kind of sausage)......it was absolutely GROSS and it took about 10 sessions of teeth cleaning to get rid of the taste......and I didn't actually eat it. Now I let hubby try unidentified food items to make sure I don't eat things that I don't like.

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That made me laugh so much, beware of dimally lit Swiss restaurants!
Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

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I made a similar mistake in Spain.....I saw what I thought were battered onion rings and got myself a whole heap of the things......the first one I tried was like a fishy elastic band.....it was calamares.....yeuk. Hubby came to my rescue and ate them.

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He will eat anything.....crocodile, Kangaroo,emu.....he has tried them all.
Me, I like things that I can recognise.......I am not a bit adventurous.
I would rather be shot than poisoned!

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