Accrington Web - Toilet Wall Humour

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Ianto.W.

06-09-2006 20:53

Toilet Wall Humour

:engsmil: What's the best peice of wit youve read on a toilet or any other wall or door, "kilroy" was world famous during my short spell in the armed
forces, this was written on a newly refurbished toilet at Catterick camp,
"roar with laughter jump with joy I was here before Kilroy, underneath
the reply was, take no notice of that bloke I was here but my pencil broke.
The best of all was "A man's ambition must be small to waste his talent on
a s***house wall. :drink: Sureley there must be hundreds?

Mick	07-09-2006 09:23

Re: Toilet Wall Humour

"Some come here to sit and think,
You come here to sh1t and stink,
I come here to scratch my balls,
And write graffiti on the walls."

Less	07-09-2006 09:31

Re: Toilet Wall Humour

Heres some sites for you

http://users.ox.ac.uk/~peter/humour/graffiti.html

http://www.gelfer.net/graffitisample...%20graffiti%22

And if you want to have a go at a bit of graffiti without having to worry about bumping into Robbie Williams try this site:-

http://www.blograffiti.com/all.php

http://www.gifs.net/Animation11/Ever..._in_toilet.gif http://www.feebleminds-gifs.com/spider-toilet.gif http://www.feebleminds-gifs.com/toilet-tongue.gif
These are for you Granny, (whatever you do don't go looking for animated toilet gifs, there are some very strange sites out there)

Ianto.W.

07-09-2006 10:52

Re: Toilet Wall Humour

Thank's Less looks like we have something in common after after all, this gem
was written on English Electric A shop toilet wall, "Fitters i've s**t em (reply)
if your a***e was as big as your mouth you still couldn't do it" :drink:

Less	07-09-2006 17:29

Re: Toilet Wall Humour

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ianto.W.

Thank's Less looks like we have something in common after after all,

Now hold on there just a cotton pickin' minute, as my gym mistress used to say, "One swallow does not an orgy make".

Just because I posted in this thread does not turn us into bosum buddies, I might just have put those links in knowing that to read through them all would take you a few hours which would stop you from picking on me, leaving me with plenty of time to get back to my master plan of picking on willow!

http://images.google.com/images?q=tb...r%2520evil.jpg
Less strikes a dramatic pose before continuing with his evil plan.
(Do I look like a bald headed Rindy in this outfit?).

Ianto.W.

07-09-2006 21:50

Re: Toilet Wall Humour

The toad beneath the harrow knows Exactly where each tooth-point goes;
The butterfly upon the road Preaches contentment to the toad.
Not on a bog wall.

WillowTheWhisp

16-09-2006 13:20

Re: Toilet Wall Humour

There's a loo in Morecambe with a sort of on-going saga. There are no hooks behind most of the loo doors in Morecambe and not having somewhere to hang your handbag is a bit of a problem, especially when the floor is wet.

One of the loos had a hook! Someone was obviously so impressed by this that they had drawn a huge arrow on the door and written "***** there's a coat hook!"

Sometime later the hook was missing and written below the first comment was:

"Not now there aint"

Beneath that was:

"Whurzit gone?"

Then:

"We had a coat hook on one door.
We have a coat hook now no more.
It was there and now its gone.
Nowt to hang my handbag on.
Who woud want to nick a hook?
Look! It's missing look there! Look!
A curse upon you theiving get
The bottom of my bag is wet
I hope that it is only rain.
I shall not come in here again." (that may not be word for word accurate but I did read it several times over a 6 week period)

and finally

Who sez it got nicked? Maybe it just bogged off.

Less	16-09-2006 14:25

Re: Toilet Wall Humour

Quote:

(that may not be word for word accurate but I did read it several times over a 6 week period)

My sympathies go out to busmen if he had to share his time in Morecambe with a six week period! Bad enough when you go there for a wet week-end!
http://images.google.com/images?q=tb...wings%2520.jpg

Margaret Pilkington

16-09-2006 18:33

Re: Toilet Wall Humour

Do not sit upon the seat....the crabs in here can jump ten feet!
So what my Granny used to tell me about sitting on toilet seats was true:D

Ianto.W.

16-09-2006 19:51

Re: Toilet Wall Humour

Quote:

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

Do not sit upon the seat....the crabs in here can jump ten feet!
So what my Granny used to tell me about sitting on toilet seats was true:D

:drink: Be not disheartened by your try, I swear next door the
b-----s fly. :Banane29: :Banane29: :Banane29:

Bazf	16-09-2006 22:55

Re: Toilet Wall Humour

Come home Oedipus I love you. Mother.
Over my dead body. Father

Don't beam me up Scottie, I'm having a Sh

was oscar wilde?

constipation is the thief of time but
diarrhoea waits for no man

six mounths ago I couldn’t even spell electrician, now I r one.

Ianto.W.

17-09-2006 11:08

Re: Toilet Wall Humour

:engsmil: Toilet writers when they die, will find errected in the sky;
a pleasant tribute to their wit, a monument of solid s--t. :D :D :D

:drink: It took me six years and a lifetime of experience, to become an
electrician Baz, finally made it at sixty, best of luck. Grumpy Ian. :D :D :D

Margaret Pilkington

17-09-2006 15:46

Re: Toilet Wall Humour

this isn't exactly Toilet Wall Humour, but it made me laugh.
We recently went to Skipton.....while we were there my hubby needed the loo.
He went to the ones on the car park near the Town Hall...he was charged 20pence. He said to the woman 'Twenty pence just to have a pee?'.......she said 'No it is twenty pence to get in........you can do whatever you want once you are in there!' I took his pencil off him!

Ianto.W.

17-09-2006 19:23

Re: Toilet Wall Humour

Quote:

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

:drink: You always were a spoilsport Margaret, you mighn't have a
budding genius on your hands, after all the man paid his money :drink:

Margaret Pilkington

17-09-2006 19:26

Re: Toilet Wall Humour

Yes Ianto.W..........but I know he can't spell! And I wanted to get some shopping done, not have him composing War and Peace in the Gents lavvy!

Ianto.W.

17-09-2006 21:02

Re: Toilet Wall Humour

Quote:

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

Yes Ianto.W..........but I know he can't spell! And I wanted to get some shopping done, not have him composing War and Peace in the Gents lavvy!

:D :D :D You know it's time that Russian saga was made a bit more interesting,there hard work are Russian authors. I had it it out on permanant loan.
If you follow this line down, you will be cr-----g at an angle of forty five degrees. :D :D :D . Chin Chin.

Ianto.W.

18-09-2006 14:47

Re: Toilet Wall Humour

:D :D :D This was on a hotel wc in Douglas.
If lesbians come from the Isle of Lesbos, do male Gay's come from the Isle
of Man? :D :D :D

NorthStar72

18-09-2006 15:10

Re: Toilet Wall Humour

The funniest thing I've seen on a toilet wall was in the Adelphi in Accy which read 'Fat people are harder to kidnap',and it still makes me giggle now when i think about it!!He,he.....

Ianto.W.

19-09-2006 23:57

Re: Toilet Wall Humour

:D :D :D Toilet prayer for today. Twinkle Twinkle little rectum; Big chaps
come when you least expect um. :D :D :D

WillowTheWhisp

20-09-2006 06:48

Re: Toilet Wall Humour

I wonder of they knew that from experience Northstar?

West Ender

22-09-2006 17:09

Re: Toilet Wall Humour

On the door of a Gents loo,

My mother made me a homosexual.

Written underneath,

If I buy the wool will she make me one?

BLACKBURN RAVER

22-09-2006 17:22

Re: Toilet Wall Humour

lo;l i like that1 west ender..:D

on the wall in front it said " look up"

on the ceiling it said " look down "

on the floor it said "look left"

on the left it said " look right "

on the right it said " your a nosey fecker arn't you, now feck off and have a p!55 "

thought that was quite amusing myself :D

Ianto.W.

24-09-2006 00:14

Re: Toilet Wall Humour

Boy meets girl holds her hand visions of the promised land, 'more next week'.

WINGY

24-09-2006 10:14

Re: Toilet Wall Humour

Quote:

Originally Posted by NorthStar72

The funniest thing I've seen on a toilet wall was in the Adelphi in Accy which read 'Fat people are harder to kidnap',and it still makes me giggle now when i think about it!!He,he.....

I used to have that on a sticker across the back window of my car about 4 years ago. I saw it at a show and had to get it. I'm sure it amused many people following me.

glasgow guy

24-09-2006 10:27

Re: Toilet Wall Humour

now I havent read through them all so sorry if this has already been posted, I was using a toilet in a company one day (through work) and it read on the inside of the door...

"as I sit here and comtemplate
should I sh**e or mas****ate"

I was 17 when I read it and I have always remembered it...

Ianto.W.

24-09-2006 13:25

Re: Toilet Wall Humour

:D Poster in the rear car window 'Caution' young blond girl thinking! :D :D

Shane.

24-09-2006 14:11

Re: Toilet Wall Humour

You don’t come here to pi*s about,
So p**s your p**s and p**s off out!!

:eek:

Eric	10-04-2007 15:45

Re: Toilet Wall Humour

Quote:

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington (Post 309707)

Do not sit upon the seat....the crabs in here can jump ten feet!
So what my Granny used to tell me about sitting on toilet seats was true:D

Or, don't throw toothpicks in the urinals, the crabs can pole vault.

I once saw written over a urinal "Why look up here, are you ashamed of it?" And written underneath in different handwriting: "No, I'm scared sh*tless of it!":eek:

Lilly

10-04-2007 16:03

Re: Toilet Wall Humour

If you sprinkle when you tinkle
Be a sweetie
Wipe the seatie

grannyclaret

10-04-2007 20:38

Re: Toilet Wall Humour

Be alert... your country neads lerts :confused:

chrissy

10-04-2007 21:43

Re: Toilet Wall Humour

[COLOR="Red"]An exboyfriend once told me what was written on the toilet door were he used to work, (the toilet had just been mended after being blocked)

"Anything weighing more than 1lb must be lowered by hand"[/COLOR]

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