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The Rat man cometh
A few of you know from a conversation we had in the chat room I have at the moment a plague of rat, (no it's not a typo' so far as I can tell at the moment there is only one of them).
The area I live in (just off Blackburn Road), is going through alot of re-developement at the moment (empty houses and lots of construction work), because of this according The 'Environmental Health Operative',(known from now on as 'the rat man for short), the rats are very big problem at the moment. There used to be two of them and it was the death of the first that lead me to discovering the existence of the second. One Friday afternoon I noticed a different, strange smell in my kitchen, and started to investigate, the smell was strongest in the area of my sink unit, while looking at the side of this where my water pipes go into it what did I see looking out but my friend ratty. I made a mental note that first thing Monday I would get the rat man out to sort it. On the Saturday the smell in my kitchen was worse, all windows throughout the house open and still the smell gets stronger, by Sunday, I had to take drastic action to try and get rid of this terrible smell. So with a few carpentry tools out came the shelves and off came the back panel of the sink unit. All this succeeded to do was allow an even stronger rotting smell to permeate my house and allow easier access for the living rat and I still couldn't find the source of the smell. Monday the Rat man is called with a promise to get here Tuesday, he arrived Wednesday, walked into my kitchen and said, "you've got a dead rat". I also informed him that I had a live one, I'll put some poison down was his reply. What about the smell I asked him, he told me that they had a spray that could be used for that but in his opinion I would be better with the smell of the rat, because the spray was alot worse and penetrated the actual fabric of the house making it impossible to get rid of. It will fade in a couple of days he added. Within a day of the poison being put down it had all gone been eaten or taken down the hole between the floor and the wall behind the unit. For several days no sign of the rat and the smell was starting to fade, my life was starting to get back to abnormal. One night I woke up and decided to make myself a brew, went to the kitchen, turned on the light and there was ratty scampering around the side of my cooker. so You're still here then you b*gger I shouted throwing the nearest thing to hand at it, (exit one full jar of coffee, MMMMM, smell the beans! as the glass shattered everywhere), Cool as a cucumber the rat just sort of strolled back into my sink unit and down it's hole not in the slightest disturbed by my presence. This Wednesday the rat man arrived, How's the rat he asked I told him it's fine and sends him it's regards, we went through to the kitchen where much to my horror we saw that my kitchen window was absolutely covered in house flies, (it was like that scene from nightmare on Elm st where the priest went into that room full of flies), the rat man took this in his stride, ah good the flies are getting rid of the dead rat for you that will have helped stop the smell. The rat man put down some more poison and said he would call next week, at least he says it's poison, because whatever it is the rat doesn't look ill, it is high as a kite, absolutly stoned out of it's head, it has no fear in it at all, it just sort of sits there looking out from the sink unit and waves to me whenever I go past. Excuse me is there anyone out there that could lend me an air-rifle? I live in fear that it might somehow break into my fridge and attack my beer! http://www.dynawerx.com/modules/Simp...e/DrunkRat.jpg |
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I wouldn't set much store by that poison if I were you Less.
When we had an empty house next door and the mice camping under the fireplace feature in there ran out of food which the previous occupants had left under there they decided to move en masse to chez Whisp. They came up under the skirting board by the fireplace. We called in the council "destructors" as my Mum used to call them and they put down poison. It was blue. We began to find blue mouse droppings and many a happy cheery looking mouse scampering back down under the skirting boards. We blocked up holes - they found new ways in. At the time we had a Jack Russell (well half of him was a sheepdog) and people said "good little ratters them". Maybe so but good little mouser he wasn't. He couldn't catch the wretched things for love nor money. Mimi caught one once. She speared it with a nail file and came into the dining room triumphantly displaying it aloft like a shish kebab just as our dinner guests were sitting down to a meal. Once when I moved the fridge to clean behind I found a mouse picnic site where they had taken dog biscuits up onto a ledge at the back of the fridge above the motor - neatly stacked biscuit supply, accompanied by blue pooh. One night my late husband sneaked downstairs to where we'd left a cupboad door open with an open box of dog biccies inside - it was full of meeces. He slammed the door shut then taped a clear plastic bag over the front before opening it again and trying to trap the mice in the bag. Some escaped and they ran around the kitchen with him chasing them and whacking at them with his slipper - reminscent of a scene from Tom and Jerry!:D Mimi and I just fell about laughing. We did manage to catch some in humane traps using mars bars as bait. Eventually we resorted to borrowing a friend's cat!!!:D These days we have cats of our own and narry a mouse to be seen. Best of luck in the showdown with your rat. |
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Here's a few ideas for you and your whiskery friend, before you......
KILL IT! http://www.dapper.com.au/toys.htm#partygames |
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Yet again, Thank you to rindy and willow, laugh's and titters all round for your input, however just a quick question?
If I go any further to be rid of my unwanted guest will I, (as others have been accused before me), be racist? after all a rat is a mammal and therefore we do share alot in common with them? Should I allow my rat the right to live? Should I let it become a buddy? (or would I then be accused of being a buddist?). Oh sod it! cut through the cr*p, I don't want the rat, as I've already asked, anyone got an air rifle? http://www.lipu-uk.org/Pubs/SHOOTING2.gif I don't think I'm going to be that good a shot! |
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You may be accused of being rattist (is that how you pronounce it?) ;)
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Is it cus he is black, you is gonna kill it?
Try talking to it first. You may find death appeals to him, rather than living chez nous.:D |
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Just be careful I don't need your assistance to ruin my 'macho' reputation! http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...px-Rat-Man.jpg |
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I thought you'd moved in with him Less to get away from the rat.;)
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May be you should see it as a compliment. This poor homeless rat decided that your home was the perfect place to live. It obviously recognised a soul mate when it saw one.:p :D
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Perhaps you being such a staunch supporter of the 'minority's' you could organise some sort of grant for it, (let's face it it stands more chance than I do, I'm not a single, lesbian, abused, mother, (I could have put black at the front of that but then you would have thought I was being serious). :D |
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Just going to be serious for a second - you know what the best solution to a rat problem is don't you? Get a cat! :D |
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Wanders off mumbling to self about no good do gooders that given the chance of a bit of power will squander it on useless projects, Ooops sorry folks thought I'd wandered into the 'panoptican thread' there for a moment! Bye Bye karma, Gayle is about to go on a mission!:( |
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I'd love to give you some karma, Less for bringing up my favourite subject again but unfortunately I have to spread it around a bit before I let you have it.
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The solutions simple Less. Forget the cats air rifles and cute little Jack Russells.
You need to borrow yourself a German Shepard. It will have ratty for dinner quicker than you can say poison. |
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I've just called German shepherds, Mitzi und Fritzi.
They will be at Church station at 5.15 tomorrow, and are very much looking forward to helping you with your infestation. http://www.germany-tourism.ie/media/lederhosen.jpg |
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One look at them knees and the rat will be off like a shot! :D
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had one in my kitchen less once and hubby kindly showed it the door and thank god it never came back................
No help to you at all but just felt i had to share that with you pmsl......... |
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So many thoughtful replies from your friends Less eh? Very humurous threads guys thanks!
I'm an american so of course I've got every kind of weapon :Banane36: necessary from a bb gun to 30 30 rifle as well as what every Yank boy has but an semi automatic 9 mm hand gun.:Banane36: But how to get them through customs hmmm . . . Okay that won't help. I have a great rat, mouse, mole. rabbit killing dog but again, bloody customs. Hey, Chav's got snakes. How bout borrowing one. That'll give ya peaceful dreams eh? I am sorry for your dilemma but love the advice and guidance given. Oh, by the wa, if that poison works won't ya just have another decaying rat to have to deal with? That smell is SOOO Gross. Good Luck! |
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However being British we live in fear of what is known as 'friendly fire', I would be just a little nervous allowing you anywhere near my kitchen, though the rat probably wouldn't have those worrys. Here's just a quick thought, next time your talking to good old George, why not suggest that he does get a little task force together and take over the U.K. It would solve two problems we would become rich again from all your aid, and Your economy would be able to boom again once you wrote us off as a tax loss!:D |
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Hey Less, perhaps you could hire a Pied Piper outfit for Garinda and set of pipes for him to blow .. no harm in trying. Unless rats are tone deaf, of course. :D (Ok just typed innocently what I think might be a prompt for comment!)
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Well it's nice to have a bit of company, so I thought because it seems to be staying I'd go out and get my rat an new set of clothes ready for Christmas. After all it's not long to go now.
http://boles.com/called/CarlaRatSanta.jpg (As modelled by a professional, this product may not look as good on your own rat), That's what it said in the small print!:D |
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Gee he looks cute.:D
After a great deal of thought I've decided I would like to but your little one a fashionable outfit. Suprisingly rat costumiers are a bit thin on the ground. However, I've checked the measurments, and your little rodent will fit into any of these Guinea pig designs. Please let me know which he'd like, and I'll send it off to Father Christmas. http://cuddlycavies.homestead.com/costumes.html |
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http://www.creditcard-egg.co.uk/incl...dit%20card.jpg |
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R.I.P. Ratty Got up to make a brew, and there on the kitchen floor was poor old ratty looking very poorly, I dispatched him with a hammer blow to the back of the head. (he's alot bigger close up). I now have a problem of disposal, Friday is refuse day and I need a quick answer, Do I put him in my blue box, blue sack, green bin or white sack? I can't find anything on the council web site about the category he must fit into. Or, perhaps I could try to improve my culinary skills? http://brianromero.com/blog/2006/01_...of_rat_pie.jpg |
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Congratulations Less :):Banane18:
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Put him in the blue box with the tin cans. They will think he got in the box looking for food and died of natural causes. Then you can complain that the recycling scheme is attracting rats to your street. Or you could contact the council directly and speak to some trat from recycling and tell them you found it in your recycling box.
(well you could have until I suggested it on here. We all know half the Councillors in Hyndburn read AccyWeb but don't seem to understand how to actually post, except Cllr Jones) |
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You should be ok, I don't think the elected Councillors and employed Council Officers actually discuss important Council matters. I think they spend all there time trying to avoid each other. They both exist in a strange symbiotic relationship where both sides think they know what is best for Hyndburn when I suspect neither does. When something goes wrong both sides try to blame the other.
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How about rat stew?? in a way you'll be recycling just make sure you cook it thoroughly so the poison dont take effect on you too LOL:D |
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I am safe. I saved some of Slinky's parkin. If Tinks tries to attack me i will stick her hands together LOL.
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(Neil laughs an evil laugh while Gary actually reads a few of the posts above before posts next) |
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OOoohhhhh theres going to be some slaps handed out from Tinks when she sees this so dont say i didnt warn ya's:D Its discrimination of the vertically challenged:eek: :D
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Glad you eradicated the problem Less. Now for disposal, how bout putting it in one of those evil chavs' (NOT OUR Chav1) cars. Or throw it in the backyard of the hoodlums!
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There are some tasty ideas on here for you to try.:D
http://www.cooks.com/rec/search/0,1-0,rat,FF.html Rat ragout, yummmmmmm yum. |
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