Oh dear I been bad
 

As you know from previous threads I have moved when I was transferring my 'phone I asked for a new number and also that they stop all the sales canvassers from ringing me.
Not a problem they said, as a result I still have my old 'phone number and I am still getting people with very strong Indian accents called 'Janet', ringing me.

The latest broken English conversation went something like this:-

Asian Janet Hello Sir, can I ask has any member of your family had an accident or injury in the last three years?

Myself Yes, my son, he went for an operation and the doctor removed his right ankle and replaced it with his left wrist.

Asian Janet Oh dear, and when did this happen?

Myself in about three weeks time.

Asian Janet about three weeks ago, hmmm, and can your son walk?

Myself yes, but only if he stands on his head.

Asian Janet O.K. so it's not life threatening and he can manage to get about but I'm sure this is most upsetting?

Myself Upsetting? we are livid, the doctor was supposed to remove the right ankle and replace it with the right wrist.

Asian Janet Can I ask sir, why this operation was performed?

Myself Well we went to the Doctors and told him that our son was reaching puberty was there anything we could do about it and he suggested the operation.

Asian Janet I see, if you don't mind this case is a little beyond my knowledge, would it be possible for me to get my supervisor to ring you for further details?

Myself Not at all, the more people we involve in this the better I like it.

Asian Janet In the mean time sir has anyone else had an accident or injury? (she's a glutton for punishment isn't she?).

Myself yes, about fifty-five years and nine months ago my parents were upset when the contraceptive they used split and the result was me.

Asian Janet Oh dear, and did they have any witnesses to this event?

Myself Yes there were about five hundred people they had taken a wrong turn on a hiking holiday and ended up at a Roman Orgy.

Asian Janet Where they insured?

At this point I had to admit defeat, the girl had got me, if I had stayed on the 'phone any longer my new carpets would have taken days to dry, I just gently put the receiver back in it's cradle and shook my head in disbelief.:rolleyes:

Re: Oh dear I been bad
 

:rofl38: omg that was sooo funny how on earth did u keep a straight face & speak without laughing at this stupid sales muppet :rofl38:

Shame u couldnt of recorded it for amusement purposes of accyweb :D:rofl38:

Re: Oh dear I been bad
 

LOL im going to employ you to answer my phone in future less-thats soo funny.
I wish i could think stuff up that quickly to say-once i have you poised and ready to go next my phone i wont need to!

Re: Oh dear I been bad
 

well thats us here cleaning up our carpets anyway :eek:

cheers Less!!

Re: Oh dear I been bad
 

next time one calls and askes if you have been in an accident say yes i have i hit a guy with my car last week and his head broke my winscreen and dented my bonnet can you help

they will hang up ;)

mind you one note of caution

i got a number calling my mobile and i answered it thinking it would be one of these telesales things so i immidiatly started taking teh micky with a false accent and even made a lude comment about before we go anywhere could i have a moment to tell her what a sexy voice she had

turned out it was the C.S.A my ex had given them my mobile phone number lol

Re: Oh dear I been bad
 

......... :rofl38:

Pure brilliance as always Less :D

Re: Oh dear I been bad
 

wow i can't stop laughing now ......pure brilliance les

Re: Oh dear I been bad
 

Now this i must try its brillient.my sister got a phone call 0ntuesday telling her she had got 2nd place in aholiday comp, they wanted money up front to process the paper work, she told um that she wanted to see some proof in seconds all you could hear was quackquackkkkkkkkkk
befor icould say anything see hung up i wantedto leave the phone off the hook for a few hours to block theere line. :Banane17:

Re: Oh dear I been bad
 

we just say ,oh can you hang on just a minuet ,then just leave the phone.. they soon hang up

Re: Oh dear I been bad
 

Nice one Less

Re: Oh dear I been bad
 

hahahaha brilliant less...