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The Worst Joke In The World
But I still laughed!!:rolleyes::rofl38::rofl38::bangh8:
Last Saturday night; a young chap was walking home from a club. It was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing. Most of the > streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence was only broken by the occasional sound of a stray cat sifting through a dustbin. Then suddenly he heard a strange noise....... > > > > > > > > BUMP........ > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > BUMP........ > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > BUMP........ > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Startled by this, he turned, and to his amazement, through the driving > rain, he saw the faint outline of a large box turning into his road. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > BUMP........ > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > BUMP........ > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > BUMP........ > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > He froze to the spot, he couldn't believe his eyes, as the box > > approached from the shadows, he was able to make out its shape more > > clearly....It was a coffin. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Not wanting anything to do with this, he put his head down and started > > walking briskly home. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > BUMP........ > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > BUMP........ > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > BUMP........ > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > He could feel the coffin gaining on him, he started walking > > faster......... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > BUMP........BUMP...... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > BUMP........BUMP..... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > BUMP........BUMP...... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > The coffin was closing with his every step, he started to jog, but he > > heard the coffin speed up after him...... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > BUMP........BUMP......BUMP...... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > BUMP........BUMP......BUMP...... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > BUMP........BUMP......BUMP...... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > He started to sprint, but so did the coffin . > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP..... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Eventually he made it to his front door, but he knew the coffin was only > > seconds behind. Fumbling around in his pocket, he pulled out his keys, > > His hand trembling, he managed to open the lock, he dived inside > > slamming the front door behind him. He shot into his front room, and > > slumped into his comfy chair. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Suddenly there was a loud crash, as the coffin smashed its way through > > the front door. The force of the impact broke the lock off the coffin > > allowing the lid to swing freely on its rusty hinges as it continued its > > chase..... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > In horror the young lad fled again, as fast as his shaking legs could > > take him he bolted upstairs to the bathroom and locked the door........ > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > The coffin again gave chase up the stairs, across the landing and > > launched itself at the bathroom door. With an almighty smash, the > > bathroom door flew off its hinges.... > > > > > > The coffin stood in the doorway, then started to approach the young > > terrified lad. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > In a last ditch attempt to save his skin, he reached for his bathroom > > cabinet...... > > > > > > He grabbed a bar of Imperial Leather soap and threw it at the > > coffin.......still it came . > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > He grabbed his can of Lynx deodorant and threw it ..... > > > > > > Still it came...... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > He grabbed his first aid kit and threw it .still it came...... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > He grabbed some Benelyn cough mixture and threw it........ > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > The coffin stopped. |
Re: The Worst Joke In The World
*Groans* :rolleyz8:
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Re: The Worst Joke In The World
In the outback of Australia, a young English tourist was left with no option but to walk, after his rental car broke down. It was only a couple of klicks to the nearest village, a one-streeter called Mercy, pop. 14, but in the heat the tourist was in some danger of a serious sun stroke. But this is not a tragedy, and he did make it into the village, and, of course, this being Australia, the largest building in the town was the pub. The tourist, let's call him Lionel, went up to the bartender and ordered a cold beer. "Right out of beer, mate," said the lanky suntanned barkeep. "A nice tall gin and tonic, lots of ice," intoned Lionel. "We're out of most things; waiting for a delivery" offered the tarbender. "Do you have anything?" gasped Lionel, almost begging. The bartender suggested Koala tea: a mixture of dried Koala droppings with warm water, mint and sugar. With intense gratitude, which however did not alleviate the negative feelings he held for all colonials, Lionel accepted and chucked back the tea. "Tastes not bad," said Lionel, "but it is a little lumpy."
"Ah," said the bartender, "that's 'cause the Koala Tea of Mercy is not strained." But I do like the "coffin" joke ... I will use it, and may acknowledge the source. |
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