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Busman747 17-08-2007 22:39

I am SO Happy
 
I am Sooooo happy, .....and now I realise why.....:D


Men are just simply happier people, and here is why...

Your last name stays the same all your life.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President.

You can never be pregnant.(Phew !)

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car Mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too smelly.

You dont have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress £500. Suit rental- £100.

People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered burp is practically expected.

New shoes dont cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know things about tanks.

A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all of your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is £4.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can "do" your nails with a pen knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier!

BERNADETTE 17-08-2007 23:41

Re: I am SO Happy
 
Yes and so you should be!

shillelagh 17-08-2007 23:43

Re: I am SO Happy
 
I want to know something - Busman do you mind if this goes in over 18s?

cashman 18-08-2007 00:43

Re: I am SO Happy
 
just realised i am happy also.:D

cherokee 18-08-2007 00:44

Re: I am SO Happy
 
so why do men complain of having it tough ????/ ummmmmmm:confused::confused::p:D

LancYorkYankee 18-08-2007 01:26

Re: I am SO Happy
 
Because Cherokee, if we told the lassies how good things are, we'd get an even longer "honey-do list!":p

Brian

Ya think I'd shared the ease of being male with Cindy? Not on your life. She thinks I work wicked hard and am her knight in shining armor! LOL:Banane27::Banane27::Banane27::Banane27::p:Bana ne27::Banane27::Banane27::Banane27::p

cherokee 18-08-2007 01:33

Re: I am SO Happy
 
ummmmm cherokee runs of to get cindy s email addy to let her know shes getting a raw deal ...rofl!!!!!


always said you guys have the easiest side of things lol..

BERNADETTE 18-08-2007 13:00

Re: I am SO Happy
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by cherokee (Post 461839)
ummmmm cherokee runs of to get cindy s email addy to let her know shes getting a raw deal ...rofl!!!!!


always said you guys have the easiest side of things lol..

That's because they do!:(

shillelagh 18-08-2007 15:50

Re: I am SO Happy
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Busman747 (Post 461759)
I am Sooooo happy, .....and now I realise why.....:D


Men are just simply happier people, and here is why...

Your last name stays the same all your life. Men cant change their name they have a hard enough time remembering their first name while drunk can you imagine if they changed their name? Also it does make them feel superior

The garage is all yours. Why should we have all your bits and pieces in OUR kitchen?

Wedding plans take care of themselves. If it was left up to you it would be a pint in the nearest pub

Chocolate is just another snack. Why should we tell you what chocolate does?

You can be President. President of what?

You can never be pregnant.(Phew !) Left up to men - human beings would be extinct

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. That is if you want coke and tomato sauce all down it

You can wear NO shirt to a water park. So can we!

Car Mechanics tell you the truth. They tell you what you want hear - not what is really wrong with the car.

The world is your urinal. And we have to walk in it!

You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too smelly. Men dont have a sense of smell - wonder why?

You dont have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Are you sure about that? We get plenty of practice of that.

Same work, more pay. Who says?

Wrinkles add character. Women have plenty of practice reading maps - no wonder when looking at fellas faces

Wedding dress £500. Suit rental- £100. We pay once - you pay many times for all them times you need a suit - funerals, weddings, christenings,

People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them. Want to really know the reason why we dont - that pattern on your shirt hurts our eyes

The occasional well-rendered burp is practically expected. We still expect a polite 'excuse me' afterwards.

New shoes dont cut, blister, or mangle your feet. Wrong - what happens is you get so drunk when wearing them that you dont feel the blisters etc until the day after and then we get the earache to go with it

One mood all the time. Yeah - grumpy

Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat. Then you ask us what they were going on about

You know things about tanks. What kind of tanks - water, oil or them ones the army uses?

A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase. Then you find you've packed all your dirty washing..........

You can open all of your own jars. So can we - its not our fault that the manufacturers tighten them too much

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. Thats what you think

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. And we are the ones who get the earache 'last time he comes round here drinking all MY booze'

Your underwear is £4.95 for a three-pack. They have to be - you only use them once - then they go in the bin

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. Is it? Work shoes, trainers (for them sports you keep saying you are going to take up), Casuals for wearing with jeans, casuals for wearing with black trousers, casuals for wearing with blue trousers, casuals for wearing with brown trousers, Smart shoes for wearing with a black suit, smart shoes for wearing with a grey a suit .....

You never have strap problems in public. Thats what you think

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. We can though

Everything on your face stays its original color. It just gets that weatherbeaten look.........

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades. Then you complain when you say you look old

You only have to shave your face and neck. Really?

You can play with toys all your life. Seeing as you carry your main toy with you day in day out - yes you do - and im not talking about trains either

Your belly usually hides your big hips. Thats what you think!

One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. See above

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. No wonder you get people pointing at you

You can "do" your nails with a pen knife. Only if you want the pen knife being placed somewhere uncomfortable

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You sure about that?

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. Then 95 year old Great Auntie Mabel opens her present on xmas day and finds a DVD on Car Maintenance .........

No wonder men are happier!



Now how many agree with me? :D:D:D

By the way that was the clean version - spug got a different version!!!!

slinky 18-08-2007 16:08

Re: I am SO Happy
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by shillelagh (Post 461982)
Now how many agree with me? :D:D:D

By the way that was the clean version - spug got a different version!!!!


And it all boils down to ' JUST HOW PREDICTABLE MEN REALLY ARE ' :D

Bob on Jen ...... and then men don't think we have them well and truly sussed lmao

shillelagh 18-08-2007 16:38

Re: I am SO Happy
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by slinky (Post 461989)
And it all boils down to ' JUST HOW PREDICTABLE MEN REALLY ARE ' :D

Bob on Jen ...... and then men don't think we have them well and truly sussed lmao


Have you noticed Slinks no blokes have been on to argue their points? lol:D:D:D

BERNADETTE 18-08-2007 16:48

Re: I am SO Happy
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by shillelagh (Post 461996)
Have you noticed Slinks no blokes have been on to argue their points? lol:D:D:D

Enjoyed that, clever replies! You will have to give them a couple of weeks to think of any answers to that!:D:p:):rolleyes:

shillelagh 18-08-2007 16:56

Re: I am SO Happy
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by BERNADETTE (Post 462000)
Enjoyed that, clever replies! You will have to give them a couple of weeks to think of any answers to that!:D:p:):rolleyes:


More like a couple of months bernie!!!! :D:D:D

cherokee 18-08-2007 17:05

Re: I am SO Happy
 
ummmm very good jen . rofl!!!!!

BERNADETTE 18-08-2007 17:12

Re: I am SO Happy
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by shillelagh (Post 462006)
More like a couple of months bernie!!!! :D:D:D

True they aren't as quick as us!!!:);)

SPUGGIE J 18-08-2007 17:22

Re: I am SO Happy
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by BERNADETTE (Post 462009)
True they aren't as quick as us!!!:);)


Me i'm keeping out off it as at the mo will have to catch you women on the break. :p:D

shillelagh 18-08-2007 17:25

Re: I am SO Happy
 
You've had 18 hours to think of that reply spug seeing as you heard the unclean version not long after busman had posted it!!! Now 18 hours to come up with a reply like that .......... says it all!!!! :D:D:D

BERNADETTE 18-08-2007 17:34

Re: I am SO Happy
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by SPUGGIE J (Post 462012)
Me i'm keeping out off it as at the mo will have to catch you women on the break. :p:D

COWARD!!!!:D:p

SPUGGIE J 18-08-2007 17:37

Re: I am SO Happy
 
My take on it. :D


Men are just simply happier people, and here is why...

Your last name stays the same all your life. and
and it cant be taken
The garage is all yours.
a palce of safty when women are mad at us
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
we just need to turn up
Chocolate is just another snack.
and something to tease women with when we can eat it and they cant
You can be President.
gives women something to moan at
You can never be pregnant.(Phew !)
and why would we want to be its too much hassle and would spoil our fun
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
without embaressment
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
as we aint shy or body concious
Car Mechanics tell you the truth.
because we would slap em if they didnt
The world is your urinal.
handy being able to answer the call behind a wall
You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too smelly.
when we need to go we go
You dont have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
we are more practical
Same work, more pay.
as we are there more than women
Wrinkles add character.
and we do not fear them
Wedding dress £500. Suit rental- £100.
it can be hired and sent back no need for special storage
People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them.
assets can be a hinderace
The occasional well-rendered burp is practically expected.
its a sign of maleness
New shoes dont cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
we wear sensible ones
One mood all the time.
of course no hormonal interference
Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat.
to the point no beating about the bush discussing nowt important
You know things about tanks.
all kinds
A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.
we are not of on a fashion parade just a holiday
You can open all of your own jars.
we are stronger
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
as you asume we are incapable of being thoughtful
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
we aint petty
Your underwear is £4.95 for a three-pack.
ifit does the job
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
whats the point of more
You never have strap problems in public.
we dont wear straps
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
we dont care if there are
Everything on your face stays its original color.
its how it was meant to be
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades.
why pay for something when we lose ours anyway saves money
You only have to shave your face and neck.
no need to be smooth all over
You can play with toys all your life.
we enjoy being big kids it keeps us sane
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
its bought and paid for
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
money saving
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
we dont care about how our pins look
You can "do" your nails with a pen knife.
we dont need pedicures and manicures to look good
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
its a ever present friend if you want it to be
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
we dont see the point of all the discussions its the thought that counts

Al in all its better this way. :D

shillelagh 18-08-2007 18:06

Re: I am SO Happy
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by SPUGGIE J (Post 462023)
My take on it. :D


Men are just simply happier people, and here is why...

Your last name stays the same all your life. and
and it cant be taken do you not realise we have to let you feel superior - even though we know the truth
The garage is all yours.
a palce of safty when women are mad at us I thought that was the pub
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
we just need to turn up like i said you'd just go down the pub
Chocolate is just another snack.
and something to tease women with when we can eat it and they cant If you value your life you wouldnt - by the way want to know what im having for my tea tonight?
You can be President.
gives women something to moan at we know women can do a better job than a bloke but we dont need the hassle that goes with being president of something - mainly we are sorting out the cockups that fellas make of BEING a president
You can never be pregnant.(Phew !)
and why would we want to be its too much hassle and would spoil our fun see - we'd be extinct
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
without embaressment so can we - we just have the brains NOT to wear something that shows all the kids dinner up
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
as we aint shy or body concious wrong you just make us feel sick when you dont
Car Mechanics tell you the truth.
because we would slap em if they didnt so violence solves everything does it - words are mightier than the sword - remember that
The world is your urinal.
handy being able to answer the call behind a wall who would like to flash to a coach load of tourists?
You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too smelly.
when we need to go we go thats why you dont have a sense of smell
You dont have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
we are more practical yeah really?
Same work, more pay.
as we are there more than women who says -
Wrinkles add character.
and we do not fear them oh yes? Whats all the moisturisers for men now?
Wedding dress £500. Suit rental- £100.
it can be hired and sent back no need for special storage and by the time youve paid for rental for all the weddings etc that you go to tis cheaper buying one
People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them.
assets can be a hinderace thats not what you said!
The occasional well-rendered burp is practically expected.
its a sign of maleness its a sign of manners that you say excuse me!!!
New shoes dont cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
we wear sensible ones who couldnt find his shoes?
One mood all the time.
of course no hormonal interference grumpiness IS a sign of hormones
Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat.
to the point no beating about the bush discussing nowt important well why ask us when you want to know something
You know things about tanks.
all kinds the only tanks you know about is them motorised ones
A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.
we are not of on a fashion parade just a holiday who forgot to pack something?
You can open all of your own jars.
we are stronger in brute strength - but in mind we are stronger
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
as you asume we are incapable of being thoughtful you are incapable of being thoughtful
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
we aint petty so hes not coming round drinking MY booze aint petty?
Your underwear is £4.95 for a three-pack.
ifit does the job its throwaway stuff - cant wear them more than once because of s.......s on the back and on the front ...
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
whats the point of more like i said men lie
You never have strap problems in public.
we dont wear straps so jockstraps dont count do they not?
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
we dont care if there are we do - it looks bad on us
Everything on your face stays its original color.
its how it was meant to be thats what you think
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades.
why pay for something when we lose ours anyway saves money until you lose it you should look after it - might keep it for longer
You only have to shave your face and neck.
no need to be smooth all over well when i had a go at shaving you ..... not with a razor either
You can play with toys all your life.
we enjoy being big kids it keeps us sane get it right it keeps US sane
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
its bought and paid for ok but why oh why do you have to flaunt it?
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
money saving boring
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
we dont care about how our pins look we know how bad your legs look we dont need to be made to look at them when we are out and about
You can "do" your nails with a pen knife.
we dont need pedicures and manicures to look good thats what you think
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
its a ever present friend if you want it to be Really - now why do i know that you shaved yours off cos someone asked you to?
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
we dont see the point of all the discussions its the thought that counts and thats why the shops are all busy on the 27th exchanging the pressies that fellas bought!!!

Al in all its better this way. :D


Now hows that?

mallard 18-08-2007 20:17

Re: I am SO Happy
 
Good one busman i like the way you think we should have more things like you on here.

cashman 18-08-2007 23:59

Re: I am SO Happy
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by SPUGGIE J (Post 462023)
My take on it. :D


Men are just simply happier people, and here is why...

Your last name stays the same all your life. and
and it cant be taken
The garage is all yours.
a palce of safty when women are mad at us
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
we just need to turn up
Chocolate is just another snack.
and something to tease women with when we can eat it and they cant
You can be President.
gives women something to moan at
You can never be pregnant.(Phew !)
and why would we want to be its too much hassle and would spoil our fun
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
without embaressment
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
as we aint shy or body concious
Car Mechanics tell you the truth.
because we would slap em if they didnt
The world is your urinal.
handy being able to answer the call behind a wall
You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too smelly.
when we need to go we go
You dont have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
we are more practical
Same work, more pay.
as we are there more than women
Wrinkles add character.
and we do not fear them
Wedding dress £500. Suit rental- £100.
it can be hired and sent back no need for special storage
People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them.
assets can be a hinderace
The occasional well-rendered burp is practically expected.
its a sign of maleness
New shoes dont cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
we wear sensible ones
One mood all the time.
of course no hormonal interference
Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat.
to the point no beating about the bush discussing nowt important
You know things about tanks.
all kinds
A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.
we are not of on a fashion parade just a holiday
You can open all of your own jars.
we are stronger
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
as you asume we are incapable of being thoughtful
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
we aint petty
Your underwear is £4.95 for a three-pack.
ifit does the job
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
whats the point of more
You never have strap problems in public.
we dont wear straps
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
we dont care if there are
Everything on your face stays its original color.
its how it was meant to be
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades.
why pay for something when we lose ours anyway saves money
You only have to shave your face and neck.
no need to be smooth all over
You can play with toys all your life.
we enjoy being big kids it keeps us sane
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
its bought and paid for
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
money saving
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
we dont care about how our pins look
You can "do" your nails with a pen knife.
we dont need pedicures and manicures to look good
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
its a ever present friend if you want it to be
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
we dont see the point of all the discussions its the thought that counts

Al in all its better this way. :D

Many a True Word is Spoken in Jest.:D

shillelagh 19-08-2007 02:00

Re: I am SO Happy
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by cashman (Post 462183)
Many a True Word is Spoken in Jest.:D

Notice you didnt quote mine cashy!!! :D:D:D


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