Accrington Web - Home Remedies

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The web is full of remedies......but here is a bit more advice :p

If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.
Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your
throat and presto, the blockage will be almost
instantly removed.

Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing
vegetables by getting someone else to hold
them while you chop away.

Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the
toilet seat by simply using the sink.

For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut
yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus
reducing the pressure in your veins.
Remember to use a timer.

A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,
will prevent you from rolling over and going back
to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of
laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a
hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the
rules of life really are:

You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it
doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it
shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember:

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get
another chance.

And finally, be really nice to your family and
friends; you never know when you might need them
to empty your bedpan.

Re: Home Remedies

Haha, I laughed... Loud.

Re: Home Remedies

ha ha ha that was really funny. liked that thanks busman

Re: Home Remedies

Keep posting more funny things! :D

Re: Home Remedies

Glad you put them on busman willbe using some of them in the future...:D

Re: Home Remedies

lol just emailed that to all mi mates, cheers busman :D

Re: Home Remedies

excellent really made me giggle ill see if the mouse trap one works with my boyfriend lol

Re: Home Remedies

another good un thanks busman hahahahaha

Re: Home Remedies

Good un. Busman. Soooo funny.

Re: Home Remedies

i love the ice cube and boiling water one,,,,,i will keep that in mind for xmas.....:):):)

Re: Home Remedies

Quote:

Originally Posted by Busman747 (Post 489331)

You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it
doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it
shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

That explains a lot. ;)