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Chat Up Lines
Come on people i'm sure we have all heard some good, and some terrible chat up lines in our times!
So what are they??? I'll go first:- Get you coat you've Pulled! |
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"How do you like your eggs in the morning".....to which the sensible girl answers "unfertilised!" ;)
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Here is one.
My name is dick (Richard). Do you like it? ;) |
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Len, that's terrible. I've heard some corkers over the years, but most of them are largely forgetable.
The worst one has to be "where have you been all my life?" So predictable, I normally reply that I wasn't born most of it.......... Hmmmmmm, wonder why I'm still single??? :confused: |
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Heres 10p ring your mum and tell her your not coming home!
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is god missing an angel?
how sad is that |
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hres 10p go and ring yer mum your not going home 2 night
they get worse |
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my Face will be leaving in 1/4 of an hour i'd like you to be on it!
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your clothes would look better on my floor
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I may not be fred flintstone, but i can sure make your bed rock!!!! ;)
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Is that a ladder in your tights, or a stairway to heaven.
Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Neither do i, but it broke the ice. |
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Your dads a thief, he stole the stars from the skies and put them in your eyes.
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Hey, that's a nice dress. Can I talk you out of it?
Your eyes are like spanners..... every time you look at me my nuts tighten If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. |
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You've not had a silicone implant, have you?
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Sleep with me tonight, and I promise I wont bother you again...
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I've had, ' Have you room in your bag for the keys to my Porsche?' - How cheesy is that!!!!
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Santa's Pick Up Lines
* I know when you`ve been bad or good, so let's skip the small talk, sister! * Hey Babe, when was the last time you did it in a sleigh? * Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip? * Some of my best toys run on batteries... * I see you when you're sleeping - and you don't wear any underwear, do you? * Screw the "nice" list -- I've got you on my "nice AND naughty" list! * Wanna join the "Mile High" club? * That's not a candy cane in my pocket, honey. I'm just glad to see you! |
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To my daughter whilst on holiday in Turkey. (spoken in heavily accented English)
'Where have you been all my life? Her reply 'Where I'll be for the rest of it ...in your dreams!' and 'Darling, you are my dream girl' 'No, my friend, I am your worst F*****g nightmare. Had to chastise her for the last one, but must admit to laughing like a drain when she said it. |
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Drop em blossom Your on Next!
Or God has sent me to you he says you have a nice ass or You look like a virgin, fortunately I specialise in such conditions. All thanks to Wicked Willies Guide to girl chasing. |
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Of course not forgetting the famous Australian line............
You wanna Fu**? No Do you mind laying there while do? |
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I'm going home now..to slip into something nice. And you're nice!!
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Some of the lines are quite funny...some are more pointed....I can remember the lines...but I've forgotten what to do afterwards!! :eek: :eek: AAAhhhhhhhh...a cup of Cocoa and an early night in bed.........ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz And that's not a chat-up line either (I think) I really wanted to be a "dirty old man" ....but the wife keeps washing mi raincoat!! :eek: |
World best chat up lines.
Picture the scene. Across a crowded room you spot someone so gorgeous you can’t help but go over and introduce yourself. But you’re completely tongue-tied, searching for that first thing to say is harder than you’d possibly imagined.
We can now reveal the lines that are winners and the lines that are from Aussie's. From cool to cringeworthy, here are the best and worst chat-up lines in the world! Do you agree or do you know better ones? Smile and say ‘hello’ Do you believe in love at first sight…or shall I walk past again? I seem to have lost my phone number, can I have yours? All those curves, and me with no brakes. You're like a parking ticket. You've got fine written all over you.... That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it? My bed is broken, can I use yours? Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money? I want you almost as much as I want world peace. HIM: "You look just like my first wife" HER: "How many times have you been married?" HIM: "Never". "My friends over there bet that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room. Want to buy some drinks with their money?" "Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?" Help the homeless – take me home with you. If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon. Do I know you? (No.) That's a shame, I'd like to. So, tell me about yourself; your dreams, your ambitions, your phone number. Do you see my friend over there? (Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar). He wants to know if you think I'm cute. What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room? Is it hot in here, or is it just you? Guy: Are your parents terrorists? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because baby you're the BOMB! Are you lost? Because heaven's a long way from here. These are from Australia Those are nice jeans you have on... but you know they'd look even better crumpled up on the floor beside my bed. If I followed you home, would you keep me? I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you "Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!" Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up? Hi I'm Mr Right, I've heard that you've looking for me... "Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend? " What are your measurements? I need them for the lotto as I know you're a winner and I want to be one too... 10 ton polar bear. If that doesn't break the ice, nothing will. Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought they were wings. Hi, my name’s Fred Flintstone, and I’m gonna make your Bedrock! If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d put U and I together. My face is leaving in 10 minutes, you'd better be on it? Was your father a thief? Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes. Legs is the word of the day. Let's go back to your place and spread the word. Is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven? Do you sleep on your stomach? Do you mind if I do? You don't sweat much for a fat lass |
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If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.
Lmao I like this one ^^^^^^ |
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as a BAD one the one that goes "Legs is the word of the day. Let's go back to your place and spread the word." it made me laugh but how would you ladies like to be chatted with that line?????????????????????????????
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Some good ones there Bazf, I don't think the Aussies are blessed with the wit though lol! |
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i always remember the one said every time ,on the goon show on the radio years ago ..
do you come here often.......no only in the mating season... erm..doesnt seem so funny today,but it was very funny then,, |
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