Secret Cat Diary
 

Secret Cat Diary


DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from shredding the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant and cough it up on the carpeting.


DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their
favorite chair...must try this on their bed (again).


DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.


DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan...


DAY 768- I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo". What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth and the tiny bit of flesh under my claws.


DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies". Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.


DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.

Re: Secret Cat Diary
 

Flashy......did you write this?
I think it is hilarious.

Re: Secret Cat Diary
 

no i didnt write it, got it in an email

Re: Secret Cat Diary
 

oh, I thought you were branching out and becoimg a writer.......it is good.

Re: Secret Cat Diary
 

Day 775 - Strung up by the bollocks by Tealeaf and died a slow lingering death. Fini.

Re: Secret Cat Diary
 

Wonder if Less is aware this could be his moggy? Either that or his moggy is considering all that is mentioned. :eek:

Re: Secret Cat Diary
 

Not possible. It is obviously a female cat.....it can think and rationalise.

Re: Secret Cat Diary
 

Not when it's in a pot with carrots & potato's it can't,

I believe the recipe is called 'Mock Rabbit Stew'.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/241/5...dc59acfa77.jpg

Re: Secret Cat Diary
 

Less, How could you!
And you, the servant of a feline too.

Re: Secret Cat Diary
 

Besides,it looks 'orrible.

Re: Secret Cat Diary
 

If it started acting like the females of the human race I would have no choice, it would be a kindness,

(I don't think I've ever heard the terms 'think' and 'rational', in the same sentence when referring to any female whatever the species).

http://www.tiptopglobe.com/skin/smile/s11971.gif

See, he agrees!

Re: Secret Cat Diary
 

then Less, you must have had a sheltered upbringing, and a quiet life(except, I know that isn't true).....perhaps you have a foggy memory.:)

Re: Secret Cat Diary
 

I could have a wife and a quiet life these days my hearing going.

http://www.tiptopglobe.com/skin/smile/s7251.gif

Re: Secret Cat Diary
 

Less, stick with the cat, far less trouble.:)
And if you get fed up you can always make the Mock Rabbit Casserole/pie/stew.

Re: Secret Cat Diary
 

Thanks for brightening my Sunday up Margaret and Less:rofl38::rofl38::rofl38:and all over a little pussy:rolleyes::D

Re: Secret Cat Diary
 

Glad to be of assistance John.....a day without a giggle is wasted. :D

Re: Secret Cat Diary
 

Day 776. Been practicing with my Cat-apult.
Got some ball bearings ready for you know who. :D

Retlaw.