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MEN, don't ya just love them!!!
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat-shirt seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?' 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?' He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma .' And they say blondes are dumb.... --------------------------------------------- A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.' The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...' ----------------------------------------------- 'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?' 'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied. ----------------------------------------------- Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumor ------- --------------------------------------- Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN ---------------------------------------------- Q: Why do little boys whine? A: They are practicing to be men ---------------------------------------------- Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough. ---------------------------------------------- Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.' 1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX (because they are plugged into a genius) ---------------------------------------------- 2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX? (they don't have enough time) ----------------------------------------------- 3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG? (they don't stop to ask directions) ----------------------------------------------- 4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS? (because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock) ----------------------------------------------- (You're laughing, aren't you?!?!) ----------------------------------------------- 5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS? (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties) ---------------------------------------------- 6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN? (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy) ----------------------------------------------- 7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN? (don't know.....it never happened) ----------------------------------------------- ( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!) ----------------------------------------------- And the personal favorite: 8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH? (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn) ----------------------------------------------- Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart! |
Re: MEN, don't ya just love them!!!
What have we done to deserve that little lot ???? :)
Ah well if you can't beat em' !! Blonde paint job A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighbourhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari." :D :D Women & Motors Eh !! who says they can't tell one from another :D :D |
Re: MEN, don't ya just love them!!!
excellent lol
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Re: MEN, don't ya just love them!!!
And what do you call an intelligent blonde: A Golden Retriever.
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Re: MEN, don't ya just love them!!!
Adam was sitting bored and lonely in the Garden of Eden. He had named all the animals, explored the lakes and the vales; and was now, well, bored out of his ever lovin' mind. So, he called on God: "Yo, God, Eden is grrrrreat; but I can't really enjoy it by myself. I need a companion: kind, loving, loyal ... a true mate ... a friend and a partner. So, create me one. You are the creation guy."
God responded in his booming voice: "Adam, creation is over. Anything I do from now on has to be paid for. What you want is going to cost you an arm and a leg." "An arm and a leg" mused Adam. "I don't think I can do that. What can I get for a rib"? |
Re: MEN, don't ya just love them!!!
As this is obviously a thread for "Avin' a dig" a quick poke across the border eastwards I think will be in order :D read on :)
Yorkshire Jokes Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet. Even those Tykes on here would've grinned, somewhat strained perhaps but grinned non the less ! :s_aim1: |
Re: MEN, don't ya just love them!!!
And did you hear of the gruesome discovery in Ossy? The police found a skeleton in a tree! DNA testing revealed that it was the mortal remains of the hide and go seek champion of 1932.;)
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Re: MEN, don't ya just love them!!!
I do have one which involves Adam and Eve, carnal knowledge, and the fish in the lake. However, it qualifies for the over 18s; and because I'm entering my second childhood:dummy2:, I'm not allowed in there.:cool:
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Re: MEN, don't ya just love them!!!
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