A Kibab
 

Where are the instructions?

Whoa hang on, it's not that I'm a complete old fart, I've had them before.

I just think there should be some instructions.

I get it home, unwrap the insulation that protected the environment from the contents, take my first bite...

...then spend an hour cleaning my carpet, computer table, walls etc. of the residue that spurts out of every end, (I'm talking before digestion, not after).
By that time I have put the remains onto a dinner plate to prevent any extra mess.

I'm beginning to understand why most folk wander home eating them straight away, ok they leave a vile trail behind them, the poor old street cleaner has to spend hours scraping the congealed mess off the streets the following day.

Much better he does it out there than I do it in my front room.

:)

Re: A Kibab
 

its KEBAB actually,and the main instructions to eat one are that you must be totally drunk and incapable of walking home,so you get in a taxi and unwrap it in the cab,then you pay 25 pounds for the pleasure of spilling it in his cab,or if you are really lucky you take it home then leave it by your bed and fall asleep and in the morning forget its there and step in it, this is the basic british way we eat and treat kebabs.

Re: A Kibab
 

I think the misspelling is purposeful for the comedic aspect of the thread...

I never get salad on a kebab. Some places put more salad on than meat. Almost everywhere I have been put way too much salad on and pitta bread seems to disintegrate making a kebab hard to eat. If I get a nice large mixed kebab(such as Abduls) I would usually just eat the meat anyway. Too full to eat the bread :D

Re: A Kibab
 

The answer to this puzzle is really quite simple (well for me, anyway).....don't eat foreign muck.
Have a nice bacon butty instead:D

Re: A Kibab
 

But Margaret what takeaway sells Bacon Butty's at 11pm after the pub:p

A kebab should always be on naan bread. The pitta bread ones are for amateurs. They should also be drenched in chilli sauce so they can be enjoyed twice. I am the kebab master so I know these things

Re: A Kibab
 

You could have inadvertently given somebody an idea, just think what a roaring trade a shop selling bacon butties on the way home from the pub would do, :D

Re: A Kibab
 

Don't think you would find many prepared to sell them on Blackburn road though:D:D

Re: A Kibab
 

um you could be right there Mick:rolleyes:

Re: A Kibab
 

I always leave it in the box, eat the meat and some of the salad and leave the bread. And don't have sauce on it - that puts paid to the squirting. Chili sauce seems to be a fairly recent addition anyway - once place I used to go put yogurt on, much more authentic, but can't get that round here.

Re: A Kibab
 

Oh, Mick...How would I know?...I'm home and in bed by 10pm.:)(sometimes even earlier)

Re: A Kibab
 

Can't see any of those guys wanting to cook it either...was in Morrisons last week and the asian check out girl picked up a pack of bacon(which was vacuum packed and already wrapped in plastic) with another plastic carrier bag...and the look on her face was classic.

Re: A Kibab
 

Yes the bad girls often are!
:eek:

Re: A Kibab
 

no-on has asked for their money back so I can't be as bad as all theat Less:D
(and before anyone tells me I'm operating double standards here, after what I said about Dthe P 47...Less is a friend...and has known me - not in a biblical sense - for a long time)

Re: A Kibab
 

I have never eaten one so did some googling to see what I have missed.

Meat scraps (the bits that no-one wants to buy), pounded (ground) into pink paste (the sort of gunge that Jamie Oliver made public knowledge) then hand moulded onto a rod for spitroasting.
Yuk!

Re: A Kibab
 

Only ever had 1, and can safely say, yeh missed beggar all MargaretR, i was well sloshed n still thought it was crap.

Re: A Kibab
 

Yes, this is true, what a shame you have been made to feel you owe an explanation?
Sometimes newbies are good for the site, sometimes they just aren't. I will always welcome the one's that have good intentions.

Re: A Kibab
 

Just thought I would point it out, in case he came back and howled like a girl...can't be having that cane we?

Re: A Kibab
 

i get the kebab delivered to the house .. wi salad and a mixture of chilli and garlic sauce .. wi donner and chicken .. a big plate, towel spread out on the floor .. and i sit in the middle of it wi another towel protecting the jumper .. that chilli sauce stains ...

Re: A Kibab
 

well to me me donna is along the similiar lines of hot dogs...or more so just like Black pudding, haggis, tripe...... who'd want to eat those ewwwww :D

Re: A Kibab
 

not me Rob, I'd rather be shot than poisoned.

Re: A Kibab
 

You eat hotdogs? Chicken Nuggets etc ?

I saw how they was made on a tv prog. Well they wouldn't let them see the actual machine, but I saw the results of the machine.... :sick: Still. Best not to think of these things whilst eating mechanically separated chicken

Re: A Kibab
 

Well, the one I had had some very nice lumps of tender lamb in it, not pounded until my teeth did their job.
Perhaps you're still googling for sensationalism rather than truth?
:D

Re: A Kibab
 

If you eat one bit of dead animal why not others... you've made me hungry Rob, soon be Burns night then haggis will be available oh yum can't wait:eat:

Re: A Kibab
 

Kinda like, pork pies, black puddings, hot dogs, beefburgers, steak canadians and sausages

Mmmm!

Re: A Kibab
 

Me ! :D

Re: A Kibab
 

You can have my share son........ewww!

Re: A Kibab
 

mmmmm i could eat a lamb kebab from omars now, doubt they would deliver to here tho lol

Re: A Kibab
 

im doing a haggis delivery .. if i dont im in trouble ..... true mick? :p:p:p

Re: A Kibab
 

and this is what they were going for on the christmas market on christmas eve ... :D went with german sausage instead ..:D:D:D

Re: A Kibab
 

Oh my. What is Tatties? sounds very suspicious :D

Re: A Kibab
 

Neeps and tatties - mashed swede and mashed spud. Trad accompaniments to haggis - plus a glass of whisky of course...

Re: A Kibab
 

I was starting to wonder/worry if it was the Testicles of banned Accyweb members

:D

Re: A Kibab
 

Oh so True:p:D

Re: A Kibab
 

No they're in the haggis... Funny isn't that it's males who get banned - have there been any female recipients of that particular honour?

Re: A Kibab
 

Yep, but in the main its been Males.

Re: A Kibab
 

I thowt Neeps were turnips

Re: A Kibab
 

Well yes... except turnip is the Scottish name for swede or yellow turnip. And if you look at any pic of haggis neeps and tatties one of the veg is always orange.