Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Ok, we all know the world is going more than a little crazy ... but as I sit here waiting for our first winter storm, all prepared with booze, food, and dope ... and my new snow shovel ... I scanned the news ... and came up with these:

Morning-after pill maker warns of weight limit - Health - CBC News

Doctors encourage 'fist bump' over handshake to prevent illness - Your Community

Tired? Troubled love life? Try banning the gadgets from the bedroom | Amy Fleming | Comment is free | theguardian.com


The first one I found funny for various very politically incorrect reasons ... now, fat chicks don't get laid all that much; so, I didn't at first see much of a problem. But on further thought ... I know, my life must be empty if I give things like this "further thought" ... it occured to me that given the chance of a roll in the hay, a ... let's say ... big-boned lady might just not give all that much thought to protection .... I think I'll leave this to someone else to expand on ... Help me Obi Less:D ... puns welcome.

And the fist bump thing:rolleyes: Time for full-body condoms and surgical masks:eek: How about french kissing, and all the other spit swapping and tonguing folks get into after being introduced and exchanging a sterile fist bump.

And the third ... is this news? Does one need "research" to figure this one out. Great way of having group sex ... you can get it on with your partner while sexting someone else:alright:

Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Nowt wrong with a fat women, just plug your nostrils with a couple of ciggy filters, ( they tend to sweat when excited and can't always afford too much deodorant, (money spent on chocolate)), then, move them slowly at first, get the rhythm going and hey presto, like a 70's waterbed you can't stop them!

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Words of wisdom indeed:alright::D ... you are always to be relied on ... I'll try to keep this in mind next time I'm out drinking ... I'll write the instructions on my beer goggles.

Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Oh, please, don't take it that I approve of sex with anyone that is fat, I have tried it, it was awful, you must always avoid any form of contact with them, they always leave you with far more grease than the effort of having sex deserves.

My Black silk Duvet cover is ruined, even the dry cleaner refused to attempt to clean it. (He really is a dry cleaner, his sarcasm puts me to shame).

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

You should be grateful for fat lasses, they're usually about & single at the end of the night, much like us drunken blokes! Ideal for a case of shared solace (beer befuddled fumble). ;) :D

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

I can honestly say, as GOD is my witness, I have never, ever slept with a fat chick ... never ... in my whole life .... not once.

However ... for some reason, possibly connected to nanotechnology or the Higgs Boson ... I woke woke up with more than a few.

I suppose anyone into mirrors on the ceiling (and pink champagne on ice:D) could use one of those distorting mirrors which make fat people look skinny.:)

Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Well, what a coincidence, I can swear by the same GOD, I've never slept with a lard arse, I have spent several sleepless hours however, thinking, after the deed, 'WAS I REALLY THAT ****ED'?

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Some men prefer BIG women = 'chubby chasers'
Chubby Chaser Documentary Film - Loving Large

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Holidaying here in the home of the brave where there more than enough "buffalos" to sink a ship.
I am minded of Wandering Walters old saying " Tha'd eff to roll her in flour to find t'wet bits"

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Let's use this as a thread of confession?

I have to admit, I have tried to put it behind me, but this brings back the memories in such a shocking way!

There I was an 18 year old lean machine, My brother met this fantastic, body wise and responsive lass, he was willing for it, she was dying for it, the problem was the lump of lard called her friend.

She wouldn't leave them to get on with it, she was always following them to her mates flat complaining about how she didn't have a bloke.

One night, I'm out with them, flabby decides she likes me, well, lets be honest, I didn't like her.

Brotherly love, can you beat it?

Our kid, explained how they couldn't get together because of the blimp.

My brother offers me a tenner to distract old fatty.

A tenner back then? half a wage!

I tried my best to keep her entertained during the evening then went back to her flat.

Like her, it stank, let's be honest, I'd never taken on the role of Gigolo before now and once I felt the promised land she was offering me, I decided it was a career I didn't need.

I wasn't as honest back then, I spent an hour or so trying to be polite and not call her a skank.

I went home, with my gut churning, 15 minutes later my bruv, arrived home, he was busy with the good looking one when a knock, well, a hammering came on the door, fat bitch needed to tell her bestest friend what a swine I was.

Darling brother didn't give me the tenner, so I think that still leaves me pure.

I think, I had a lucky escape, morals, I'm glad they were there to sell, but hey, not at that price.
:D

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Well they don't always go for fat women at the end of the night in this situation. I know, I've been there...

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Hen's teeth Less look what you have gone and done now....
Reports are reaching me.....
K99 is bashing together a Confessional Box together down at the Asda from old packing cases for all you sinners. :D

Somethings are best consigned to that dustbin of the mind called longterm memory ;)

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

What? Roaring drunk & desperate to bag a fatty? :eek: Oh how the mind boggles. :D

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

If I could be bothered to Google, I'm sure I could find Chapter & Verse to contradict you.
;)

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

I knew someone would get hold of the wrong end of the stick. Definitely drunk but I like my men on the slim side - not anorexic but not porky... those who were in that condition 40 or so years ago will be a bit more portly now - I know Richard is... :rolleyes:

The beard is similar - not too bushy or skimpy - he scores on those criteria...

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Can honestly say never, never woke up wi one either, But then i was always a catch.:D:D:D:D

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Geez all you Romeos, you're being a bit harsh in your criticisms of women of the larger size (and no, I'm not one of them). Let's turn this around - there's nothing more off-putting than a man with such a huge beer-belly that he hasn't seen his 'equipment' for a long time. Nor would anyone want to!!!!!!!

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

..and, before any of you say it, no I guess you never fancied a fat bloke either!!!!!!

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

I've always been partial to a bit of wobble.

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Me too ... but let's not get sidetracked into a discussion of breasts ... :cool:

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

By the way, I was only making an observation - not speaking from personal experience...

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

So that's your story ... and you're sticking to it.;)

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

I suppose it is like awaking and deciding to chew your arm off rather than trying to extract it from underneath her and possibly wake her up - been drunk quite a few times but never quite that bad.

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Ah ... that would be Coyote Ugly ... But it can get worse: Double Coyote Ugly .... that is when she is sooooo ugly, you chew off your other arm so that it doesn't happen again;) Reminds one of the Yorkshire woolf who got caught in a leg hold trap ... it chewed off three legs before realizing it was caught by the tail:D

Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Of course worse than the fatties are the unhygienic, (old joke warning), one I was with had her 'intimate area', have you noticed that twee phrase being used for selling female hygiene products these days?
Anyhow, this ladies 'intimate area' was surrounded by half digested carrots, tomatoes and other pieces of food.
When I asked, why? She replied that the last guy to go diving threw up while he was there!

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

That's why having "Women on Top" is not a good idea !

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

grollox to the contradictions Wizz ;) K99 has got a babtising session for all you sinners arranged for this Sunday morning down on the River Stink. It's total immersion so don't forget to keep your mouth shut Less.

p.s any fat birds attending please give K99 advance notice on @washyoursinsaway because they will have to raise the water levels for complete submersion.

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Trying to turn over in bed and finding you still have the plank strapped to your arse you used to prevent yourself falling in the night before is a bummer too !! allegedly ;)

Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

If I take a bag of laundry will he do my smalls while he's at it?

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Nah ... the water's polluted enough as it is.:)

Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

It's a bit harsh on the weighty bitches innit !!

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Not really ... life's a bitch; and then you marry one ... (or, in my case, two. I think it was Johnson who said that a second marriage is "the triumph of hope over experience";) ... or something like that.) Anyway, if the heavy brigade are being made a little fun of, what the heck, eh. This kind of humor has been around for centuries ... check out your well-thumbed copy of "Canterbury Tales" ... and that's going back over 600 years ... and jokes, even politically incorrect ones (which most of them are) probably came into being with language. Maybe even before that.

By the by, this is an interesting read:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Contact_(novelette)

Now here's an idea: Why not make it compulsory for the plus sizes to wear burqas:alright:

Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

I like politically incorrect fun . . And particularly so . . Against God's failed 2nd attempt at creating human perfection.

Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

The only time something is politically incorrect on this site is when Jay & C'mon post in the Tory thread.
:)

Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

I will keep an eye open

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

He got it right on the 1st attempt, could never understand why he bothered having another go.

Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Hehe !!

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

That's not politically incorrect Less, it's just politically inane! :D

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Yet another coffee spitting moment on AccyWeb!:D

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

:rofl38::rofl38:

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Or politically inept ...

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Which, in a roundabout sort of way brings us back to the subject ...... in hand? ;)

Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Indeed, like the old proverb states, two in the hand is better than one in tubbys bush.

Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Unknown . . Happily !!

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

:eek: Big hands?

Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Big body . . . Big bush . . Big growler ( I'm guessing of course ) !!! 😜

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Has anyone also noticed the apparent connection between spatially challenged ladies and the brightest, tightest clothes?

Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Always in black Ive noticed . . . or some similar garment that seems to highlight everything others try to play down. It's like kneecapping yourself I feel . .

Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

I've also noticed that whilst sitting on their own at a table on those specially reinforced stools and eating a family bucket of KFC they always insist on a large diet coke.
Why? If they looked in a mirror they would see it's too late, the damage is done!

Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Actually, I think Id like to try one . . For size . . You never know . . Don't knock it till you've felt the pinch yourself

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Maybe its time to give the oinkers a McD's break ... there is more foolishness around ... like the new face of policing in Canada.:D

http://www.accringtonweb.com/forum/a...1&d=1385669750

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Isn't there a Canadian politician who is into something stronger?

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Oh boy ... Rob Ford ... mayor of Canada's largest city ... and a tory; once the darling of the Federal Conservatives who now respond to questions about him with "Rob who":confused: ... what a goof:D There again, he has put us on the late nite talk show map ... I see a great future for him as a media figure.:alright:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYjwEI4QxI4

Now maybe the world will start taking Canada seriously:D:D

Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Unlikely !!

Re: Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

:alright::alright:My son's best friends dad once gave him some 'manly' advice on big girls. 'just slap the fat and ride the waves'. Clearly, a highly sophisticated and learned man.:alright:

Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Sounds good . YeeHaaaaa !!!

Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...
 

Mind you . . . In the heat of the moment . . . When the inner folds unravel . . . Releasing new flesh and old . . , "you know" . . . Riding the waves becomes a bit too real . . Unless you like water sports that is 😜