Mother Goose ...
 

I'm hanging around home and my computer because the weather is so DAMNED AWFUL. So, I need some advice, the sillier the better. I looked out of the window this morning and saw that I had guests on my lawn. Two Canada geese have taken up temporary residence ... they will leave to raise their family soon. But as all you bird experts know, these are real pushy birds, quite aggressive (although these two seemed friendly enough after a loaf or two of bread), very noisy, and, how shall I put it, prone to frequent and messy defacation. Advice please, and try not to make too much sense.

Re: Mother Goose ...
 

Exactly what do you require advice on Eric ?

How to get rid of them ?
How to feed them ?
How to clear up their defecations ?
How to cull them ? Now considered vermin over here.

Every year used to get one pair mating and producing at least 5 offspring .. they used my lawn as their second home aside from the water. We learnt to respect each other and definitely on nodding acquaintances.

Yes, they do make a mess don't they ?
.. large dollops so to speak, gets in the blades of your mower.:D
The goslings grow at a fast rate and can look really ugly after about 5 weeks with long legs and still half down feathers.

Never fed them as enough food available from the lodge.
Haven't had any for 3 years and must say am quite disappointed, so send 'em over to me .. miss them. :(

Re: Mother Goose ...
 

Or maybe how to cook them ! :eek:

Re: Mother Goose ...
 

Nice idea ... but the Canada goose is sort of a national symbol, like the gopher, the beaver, and the blood-spattered baby seal. Also, there are silly laws about discahrging firearms in the city limits, unless of course one is robbing a bank. I could wring their necks, but I haven't seen a decent wringer since my gran's time. I do have a baseball bat, but I want to be sure that I come out on the winning side ... maybe I could feed them a couple of Holland's meat pies (if they still exist) and they would s**t themselves to death.:confused:

Re: Mother Goose ...
 

The sillier the better huh......hmm......
Sit on your lawn in just a pair of wellies and sunglasses and preen them whilst listening to classical music.
Tie bows around them and paint there toe nails,encourage them to wolf whistle and lick their beaks seductively.
As for the mess-teach them to use the poo parlour division :D

As for "try not to make too much sense"-I dont.

ooh funny mood alert :eek:

Re: Mother Goose ...
 

Nope, didn't work ... anyway most people in Kingston sit on their lawns in wellies sunglasses and nowt else ... the geese are used to it. Anyway geese don't go for the seductive bs, they mate for life, and are too puritanical for toe nail paint.

Re: Mother Goose ...
 

Have you tried feeding them some books?

Re: Mother Goose ...
 

No .. I don't want them to feel a tome; I want them to leave.

Re: Mother Goose ...
 

Are these the things that you canucks call loonies , or is a loony something else ?
:D :D :D ;)

Re: Mother Goose ...
 

Nice ... a loonie is a one dollar coin so named for the picture of a loon on the back (or if you are anti-monarchy on the front). OR, depending on the spelling, someone from Ossy (but not my gran).:eek:

Re: Mother Goose ...
 

Oh dear-you been exchanging jokes with my dear grandfather ;)

How about borrowing someones camel and chasing them away?

Re: Mother Goose ...
 

Camels come in packs of 20. They have a new ad slogan: "90% of the men who have tried Camels actually prefer women."

If it's a choice between camel dung and goose turds, mmm, I don't know.

But all is well ... the geese left. Now, if only I could get rid of the racoon that attacks my garbage every night .....

Re: Mother Goose ...
 

Now your just pushing your luck

Re: Mother Goose ...
 

I know that ... if the racoon moves out a family of skunks will move in:mad:
Maybe I could send some skunks to Accy ... you guys don't know what you are missing.

Re: Mother Goose ...
 

Believe me theres enough skanks over here already.......oh sorry did u say skunks...my apologies.

Actually theres quite a few nice people but thats off topic.....

Re: Mother Goose ...
 

No I did mean Skunks ... cute little black and white ones ... not skanks, they smell worse.

Just had a thought: do you mean by "skank" what we mean?

Re: Mother Goose ...
 

cos u said they smell worse then yes we mean the same.

Re: Mother Goose ...
 

Mmmm .... still a little obscure. Would it be possible to write: skank=slut? You have to realize that in a lot of ways Canadians and English don't necessarily speak the same lingo ... and it's been a while. One can use a saying of Oscar Wilde: "The English and Canadians have everything in common, but language."

Re: Mother Goose ...
 

No skanks are not...that word you wrote on here that is v rude lol

Re: Mother Goose ...
 

in my area a skank usually refers to a $10 prostitute/hooker, a nasty drug addled disease ridden piece of work,
sometimes used to decribe folks like...... Paris Hilton, Paula Yates and Kate Moss :D :D

Re: Mother Goose ...
 

a skank is a nasty dirty mucky person, i'd refer to some folk on here as being skanky ;)

Re: Mother Goose ...
 

My advice Eric, keep those buggers up your way. They'll be flying down here spreading their fertilizer as they go. We have a hunting season on them as there are so many that congregate in this area. Although I've not had the neccessity nor desire to do such.

Also, correct me if I'm wrong but I've always thought a Canuck was only used for French Canadians. My father-In-Law refers to his loving wife as a "dumb Canuck!" Please clarify Eric of the North Country.

Brian

Oh, another request, could ya keep this stinkin cold weather of yours up there, please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: Mother Goose ...
 

Actually, "Canuck" is used for any Canadian. When Canadian skiers enjoyed success in the 70s, they were called the "Crazy Canucks."

And the weather: Forget it. We send you the cold to reming all Americans that we are here, and that we are THE GREAT WHITE NORTH. A former Prime Minister, Pierre Trudeau, once remarked on the relationship between Canada and the US by saying: "The Americans send us baseball players and acid rain; we send them hockey players and cold fronts."

By the way, how about them Blue Jays!