Advice please
 

This might sound a little crazy and believe me it is.I started talking to a girl on the internet over a year ago, when we first started talking all i wanted was to be friends but after a couple of weeks she wanted more.She told me she had a son who was 2 and that she had come out of a long term relationship with her ex.

After about a month of talking we arranged to meet up and she was going to come and see me and stop at my house for a weekend, but then she said her son was ill and had to go into hospital, i felt upset and said dont worry its ok theres no rush yr sons more important and we can meet up soon.

Anyway this happened five times when she was going to come up that the baby was poorly and she couldnt make it.She would send me texts like I love you so much and my little boy is missing his step daddy, and how much she and her son missed me.

To try and cut a long story short, she eventually told me that she doesnt have a son and that it is her nephew, thing is Ive kept the texts on my phone even tho we still havent met but what hurts me is that she has been saying all this to me when its her brothers child and i have found out her address through a lot of hard work searching.

I just really dont know what to do.If you had a brother or sister that did that to you what would you do and what do you think i should do.Ive found out for definite that it is her brothers child.Its just doing my head in.

Re: Advice please
 

You have been duped - give her the elbow.
Indulging in romantic fantasy isn't healthy.

Just realise that she may be Britain's answer to Quasimodo for all you know :D




(sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind)

Re: Advice please
 

Easy.

She's a liar, and a fantasist.

You'll never be able to trust a word she says.

Run in the opposite direction, as fast as you can, and cut all ties with her.

There are plenty of lovely lasses.

You'll find one when you least expect it.

Re: Advice please
 

If all that is true then ditch her and quick, or the rest of your life will be ruined, if she can lie like that for no apparent reason, what sort of person is she.

Retlaw.

Re: Advice please
 

If 'she' asks for money for any reason - she may even be a Nigerian 'he'

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I know but what i want to do is go down and show her mum and her brother the texts that she has been sending, I dont know what reaction that will get, i find it hard to trust people now tho.

Re: Advice please
 

Yep i think that sums up what most will think...and i think you will know this yourself too, you would not be able to trust her...and without trust...you have nothing!


Best Regards - Taggy

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Nah...dont get involved mate...cut the communications now, and move on!


Best Regards - Taggy

Re: Advice please
 

You might be walking into a dangerous situation - her 'family' may be a bad lot and resent your intrusion.

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Leave it.

Cut all ties.

Change your number.

Why she did what she did, you don't need to know.

I'd just be happy that such an odd person had never actually been to my home.

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Don't do it, it won't achieve anything.
Kick her to the kerb and get on with your life.
Don't rely on the internet to find friends of either sex...go out and meet people in real life.....it is easier to judge people you can see and talk to......and meet their friends.

Re: Advice please
 

I know but she has hurt me with all she has said i just want to show her brother the texts she has sent me about his son he will go mad, i think anyone would.

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I googled 'nigerian dating scam' and got 45,000 results
Nigerian dating scam database with photos of scammers

..you could be being groomed

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her brother might be the type of person to knock you out, don't bother, you could end up in serious danger, didn't you think something was very odd when she said the child was 'missing' its step daddy, when you'd never even met? are you really so nieve?

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itl put my mind at rest if i see her and on a scale of 1 to 10 what damage would showing her brother and mum the texts, il feel happier doing it

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When people you've never met say they love you, along with their 'child', alarm bells should start ringing, that she's a....

N U T T E R !

You're hurt.

Swallow your pride, and just move on.

She really isn't worth spending anymore time worrying about.

Re: Advice please
 

Because bloods thicker than water...they will side with her...and you'll come of worse ..again! Leave it!

Best Regards - Taggy

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I know and I will it would be just nice to humiliate her and make her feel liitle but its just sick really when you think about it.

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There is no guarantee that she will be humiliated - she may just laugh in your face for being such a patsy

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wouldnt go anywhere near ... you dont know nowt about her brother .. what kind of person he is ... shes lied to you all the way through .. so not worth it .... get another sim card change your number, and forget all about her ...

Re: Advice please
 

You asked for advice and you've had it 11 times, all saying the same thing. None of it seems to be persuading you to call it a day, cut your losses and move on. Your pride has been hurt but it could have become a lot worse and may do if you go down the path you seem determined to follow. On a scale of 1 to 10 it could be 10.
Put it another way, on a scale of 1 to 10 what GOOD would it do? Move on!

Re: Advice please
 

How can anyone lie about having a kid tho

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don't even think about humiliating her, it won't help you, or make you feel better.
Humiliating her will achieve nothing. let it go...let her go and find someone who is worthy of you.

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This brings to mind how my narcisstic ex told me the same thing.
Liars 'confide' some things which might tend to be not favourable to them, in order that you will believe the other seemingly credible advantagous things they relate about themselves.
.....a fantasist is a dangerous psychotic
.....'personality disorder' is a gross understatement

Re: Advice please
 

Makes it worse when she told me how hard the birth was

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Sorry to be cruel but
..just get a transfer type tattoo with the word 'PATSY' and wear it for a week on your forehead to amuse your friends and so warn them of the dangers of the internet

Re: Advice please
 

So you never met. How do you know it's not a bloke ? :)

How old are you ? We have to have these conversations with our kids about strangers on the internet :confused:

Re: Advice please
 

OI NUMPTY WI NAE BRAIN!!!

Get your head out of the clouds and face reality!!!! She/he is ripping the urine right out of you and like a bloody twally you cant see the wood for the trees. Listen to the people on here their advice is sound!!! If you want to be taken for a mug and end up with a face that looks like it was in a bear battle then go ahead. If you aint willing to listen to people with all their life experience then of you go try and get revenge and get a cactus in the process. If there is one thing about the web is that there are enough spiders out there to take you for everything.

If you aint going to take advice then why did you ask fotr it and opinions???

Grow a set and walk. If you cant do that then reap the wirlwind and the pain!!!

Re: Advice please
 

I think he has a mild dose of Stockholm Syndrome (google if you need to know).
It is a mental delusion where the abused has sympathy for their abuser.

As a former sufferer I know how he feels.

Re: Advice please
 

You were groomed.

Time to move on, or seek more professional help than we can give.

ChildLine

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Spuggie...that is damn good advice!

Re: Advice please
 

There's an old Lancashire saying.
Least said soonest mended.

Confronting people like her and her relatives may be just what they want, she may not have a brother or a nephew for that matter.

Let it drop and get on with your life and put it down to experience. Are you so daft or what. Do as tha telled & drop it.

Retlaw.

Re: Advice please
 

As a former victim, I have researched the lying phenomenon as part of my 'cure'

I recommend reading this
Chronic Lying

It has been hypothesized that chronic or pathological lying is not a mental disorder of it's own. In fact, it is not recognized in the DSM-IV (The Diagnostic Manual used to describe mental illnesses). Instead, it is viewed as a symptom of another mental disorder that is present, such as delusional thinking, psychopathy, or narcissism.

You have had a lucky escape if you could only realise it.

Re: Advice please
 

Ignore all the good advice you have been given, I'll drive you to meet her/him so long as I can have the exclusive rights to the video of someone kicking ten bells out of you, whether it's her/him or her/his brother.

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Stop being a daft sod, forget about it, book on the coach tomorrow, go to Oxford, back the lads. :)

Re: Advice please
 

Having read through this thread I can imagine, after all we see on the TV about this kind of thing that anybody could be so gullible really, When she failed to trap the second time, the alarm bells should have been saying this is a scam of some sort, take everybody's advice Rob LEAVE WELL ALONE

Re: Advice please
 

either robs a wind up merchant or he is more than wet behind the ears than mr wet from wet street, wet land..
take yer balls out yer handbag mate or learn to grow a set and move on..
I am laughing at this thread at how someone could be such a patsy (such a great word!) as someone else mentioned..
some women are like snakes with..ahem breasts but the majority are lovely to be with - if this woman? is a female she will be sitting with her mates talking about this saddo who she is winding up and showing the texts and laughing their baseball caps off at you..and the last thing you want to be is a real saddo by going to see her but then you must already be a saddo for finding out her address..really..
I am presuming your single? and given your chat up skills aint too silky (by the way - do people not chat other folk up by talking in person to them anymore??) the quickest and easiest fix for you is to have a few beers and then dig deep in your pocket and get a nice lady of the night to help you forget about your text person..
or prepare yourself to get leathered by some guy or have the coppers lift you being some internet, text stalker...as thats what she could easily say..
the choices are yours..now how did that song go again..

..desperado..why dont you come to your senses...

Re: Advice please
 

You are crazy to even think about meeting this woman.

I am going to close this thread now before any other member starts to think its a good idea to do something as stupid and ends up getting physically hurt.