Old rhyme
 

Down In the Jungle
Livin' in a Tent
Better than a Pre-fab
No Rent

An old man was saying this rhyme today... I have a vague memory of it from when I was little..

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I remember Charlie Chester on the radio saying that. Go on then, let's hear it, "Who was Charlie Chester then?".

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errrr lost on me:

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I remember Charlie Chester - but only just! Cheeky Chappie! ;)

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i remember a ryhmne like that from school. but it was a rude version..

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must have been same school granny.:D but no our version wasn,t that rude! twas about belly ache? lol

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whos charlie chester??

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We used to say:-

'Down in the jungle, living in a tent
Want to go t'toilet.
(Then you made a raspberry noise) .. too late'

How silly and childish it was ... but G-C considered quite rude then, wasn't it ? and used to make us giggle behind cupped hands.. :D

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Charlie Chester was a comedian who was very popular in the 40s and 50s. He had his own radio show for a long time.

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right, thats why I dont know who he is!
before my time:rolleyes: ;)

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This is a rhyme that my grannie used to tell us kids to make us laugh.
Not last night but the night before
Three tom cats came knocking at the door
One had a trumpet, one had a drum
and one had a pancake stuck to its bum

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We used to say that one Kate.

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us too...........

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got anymore terry?

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Panther. This is the only other one I remember. I don't know its origin, or what it means. To me it's total nonsense, but it was drummed into my head from a young age by my granny:D

Chick araka chew cha
cho chicka lorum
pondi lorum ginny pig nap
pot a go too go isa gisa gasgo
is a by is a by
chinese jew.
Hopefully someone like Willow recognises it and can tell me its origin or otherwise
p.s I like that one of yours Willow

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I remember that too Terry, was an Aunt's party piece, as well as being able to recite the Alphabet backwards .. could only ever get past the first two lines though. Don't remember the last punch line though .. 'chinese jew'.

Funny how we never questioned the origin of these rhymes though, isn't it ?

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How many of you remember this one?

Ching Chang chinaman bought a penny doll...
He washed her and dressed her and called her Pretty Poll.
He sent for the doctor, but the doctor wouldn't come....
'Cos poor Pretty polly had a pimple on her b*m.

Not very PC, but we weren't in those days back yonder.

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Yes, lots of those weren't there ? .. just googled and seems now considered an 'ethnic slur' .. to be honest, never thought of it that way 'til I read it. PC .. wasn't even that sort of expression when we were younger.

Will be getting at the nursery rhymes soon .. e.g. Pease pudding hot .. (warm better word, could end up with claim if too hot). Little Bo-peep .. (sexist) Mary had a little lamb, it's fleece was white as snow (not fair on black sheep), and Humpty Dumpty .. well :rolleyes:

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Don't know if anyone remembers this old one of Soloman Grundy.
Soloman Grunday
born a Monday
kessend o tuesday
wed o wednesday
took bad o Thursday
wuss o Friday
deed o satdy
burried o Sunday
an thad wur th'end o Soloman Grundy


theer was an owd woman fray Accy
who ran owt of her favorite baccy
so she smoked all the tar
from the wheels of her car
and everyone thought she was a ****

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The boy stood on the burning deck
selling peas at a penny a peck
did he wash his dirty neck?
did he heck

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i remember that 1 :D

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I remember one similar Margeret. But it went like this
The boy stood on the burning deck
when allst but he had fled
TWIT.
But I got that from my dad so I don't know if he made it up just to be funny.:D

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The rhyme too long to write here -Albert and the Lion

http://www.users.dircon.co.uk/~bab/ch22/lm_2.htm

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like that one margaret, but can only remember the one from terry:confused:

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Don't eat Veget bread,
It makes you sh1t like lead
And fart like thunder,
And no bloody wonder,
So don't eat Veget bread.

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The boy stood on the burning deck
Eating a bunch of bananas...
Where do you think she shoved the skins?????
Down his best pyjamas!

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With us we substituted Veget for Moseleys...does anyone rmemeber the Moseleys Bakery somewhere off Grange lane??????

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I remember the bakery. I used to love walking past it and being able to smell the fresh bread being baked. I also remember alote of the rhymes as well.

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It was on Jacob Street, as you say, just off Grange Lane. Moseley's bread was Crusta, often called Crusty in Accrington. We used to replace Veget with Crusta.
What about:

Heinz Baked Beans,
Good for your liver and good for your heart
The more you eat the more you fart
The more you fart the better you feel
So lets have beans for every meal.

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Ah Yes......I was racking my brains to remember the name of the street......we used to go there regularly and buy a squashed cake for a penny....we thought that was heaven!
I remember the Heinz Beans rhyme too....used to giggle over that one. How naive we were in those days.

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The boy stood on the burning deck
His pocket full of crackers
A spark flew off the burning deck
And blew away his knackers.

Or something close to that.

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Farting like thunder may be beneficial. As my grandad used to say

A fart is a gust of wind
That gives the belly ease.
It warms the bed in winter,
And drives away the fleas.

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remember that one willow back to front emyhr

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Once apon a time when the birds **** lime
The monkeys chewed tobacco
The little piggies run
with there fingers up their bum
To see what was the matter ;)

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Oh moonlight flo

• i love you so
• i love you in your nightie
• the moonlight flits
• across your t1ts
• oh jesus christ almighty

:D

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Love may be beautiful,
love may be bliss
But I only slept with you because I was ****ed.:D....lol

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Roses are red,
violets are blue,
sugar is sweet,
and so are you.

But the roses are wilting,
the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl’s empty
and so is your head.

LMAO.....sorry getting carried away:D:D

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Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face...........:D

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ok this is your last..........

Sticks and stones may brake my bones
but whipes and chains excite me

Throw me down and tie me up
and show me that you like me!!!
**********************

sorry cant do anymore they starting to get rude, id do em on over 18 section ...BUT I CANT GET IN!!:D:D

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I wish, I wish almighty...
Your pyjamas were next to my nightie,
But don't get excited and don't be misled,
I mean on the clothes line....not in the bed!

we used to put that rhyme in valentines cards.

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i though it was.....

Dont eat grandmas bread,
makes you **** like lead,
no bloody wonder
you fart like thunder,
dont eat grandmas bread!!.................lol;)

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I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don’t take that paper bag off your face.
LOL

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My Nana used to say this.
Were er you may be let your wind go free.
In church or chapel let the b*gger rattle.

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yep, the Veget bread thing I remember well

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for some reason I allways get "oh Dad why you saying that " from my kids when I recite the following to my grandchilder.....

"Sam Sam dirty old man
washed his face in the frying pan ,
picked his nose with his big toe nail and
combed his hair with a donkeys tail "

:D :D :D

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Here's some old stuff from my maternal grandfather:

Owd Johnny Greencap,
Tha's stown my peaswads,
I'm benna tell thy fayther o'er thee,
I nather ceer for thee nor thi fayther,
Nor thi mother who comes fro' Owdam.

--------

Some of the ghosts were short,
Some of the ghosts were tall,
There they sat in the ghastly light,
On the churchyard wall,
They all gave a loud ha ha,
And they all gave a loud ho ho,
I tried to wish them all goodnight,
But, they would not let me go.

-------

Once upon a time, the birds sh*t lime,
And the monkey chewed tobacca,
And the little pigs run,
With their fingers up their bum,
To see what was the matta.

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Here's one of my favourites, it"s by Marriot Edgar:



I'll tell of the Battle of Hastings,
As happened in days long gone by,
When Duke William became King of England,
And 'Arold got shot in the eye.

It were this way - one day in October
The Duke, who were always a toff,
Having no battles on at the moment,
Had given his lads a day off.

They'd all taken boats to go fishing,
When some chap in t'Conqueror's ear
Said 'Let's go and put breeze up the Saxons;'
Said Bill - 'By gum, that's an idea.'

Then turning around to his soldiers,
He lifted his big Norman voice,
Shouting - 'Hands up who's coming to England.'
That was swank 'cos they hadn't no choice.

They started away about tea-time -
The sea was so calm and so still,
And at quarter to ten the next morning
They arrived at a place called Bexhill.

King 'Arold came up as they landed -
His face full of venom and 'ate -
He said 'If you've come for Regatta
You've got here just six weeks too late.'

At this William rose, cool but 'aughty,
And said - 'Give us none of your cheek;
You'd best have your throne re-upholstered;
I'll be wanting to use it next week.'

When 'Arold heard this 'ere defiance,
With rage he turned purple and blue,
And shouted some rude words in Saxon,
To which William answered - 'And you.'

'Twere a beautiful day for a battle;
The Normans set off with a will,
And when both sides was duly assembled,
They tossed for the top of the hill.

King 'Arold he won the advantage,
On the hill-toop he took up his stand,
With his knaves and his cads all around him,
On his 'orse with his 'awk in his 'and.

The Normans had nowt in their favour,
They chance of a victory seemed small,
For the slope of the field were against them,
And the wind in their faces and all.

The kick-off were sharp at two-thirty,
And soon as the whistle had went
Both sides started banging each other
Till the swineherds could hear them in Kent.

The Saxons had best line of forwards,
Well armed both with buckler and sword -
But the Normans had best combination,
And when half-time came neither had scored.

So the Duke called his cohorts together
And said - 'Let's pretend that we're beat,
Once we get Saxons down on the level
We'll cut off their means of retreat.'

So they ran - and the Saxons ran after,
Just exactly as William had planned,
Leaving 'Arold alone on the hill-top
On his 'orse, with his 'awk in his 'and.

When the Conqueror saw what had happened,
A bow and an arrow he drew;
He went right up to 'Arold and shot him.
He were offside, but what could they do?

The Normans turned round in a fury,
And gave back both parry and thrust,
Till the fight were all over bar shouting,
And you couldn't see Saxons for dust.

And after the battle were over
They found 'Arold so stately and grand,
Sitting there with an eye-full of arrow
On his 'orse, with his 'awk in his 'and.

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by eck johnW thats a long rhyme.....puts mine to shame:D

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Here's another long un for thi lass, another of my favourites.





http://monologues.co.uk/Illustrations/Jester2.gif
http://monologues.co.uk/Illustrations/divider.gif THE LION AND ALBERT
by
Marriott Edgar

http://monologues.co.uk/Illustrations/Albert_Lion.gif

There's a famous seaside place called Blackpool,
That's noted for fresh-air and fun,
And Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom
Went there with young Albert, their son.

A grand little lad was their Albert
All dressed in his best; quite a swell
'E'd a stick with an 'orse's 'ead 'andle
The finest that Woolworth's could sell.

They didn't think much to the ocean
The waves, they was fiddlin' and small
There was no wrecks... nobody drownded
'Fact, nothing to laugh at, at all.

So, seeking for further amusement
They paid and went into the zoo
Where they'd lions and tigers and cam-els
And old ale and sandwiches too.

There were one great big lion called Wallace
His nose were all covered with scars
He lay in a som-no-lent posture
With the side of his face to the bars.

Now Albert had heard about lions
How they were ferocious and wild
And to see Wallace lying so peaceful
Well... it didn't seem right to the child.

So straight 'way the brave little feller
Not showing a morsel of fear
Took 'is stick with the'orse's 'ead 'andle
And pushed it in Wallace's ear!

You could see that the lion didn't like it
For giving a kind of a roll
He pulled Albert inside the cage with 'im
And swallowed the little lad... whole!

Then Pa, who had seen the occurrence
And didn't know what to do next
Said, "Mother! Yon lions 'et Albert"
And Mother said "Eeh, I am vexed!"

So Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom
Quite rightly, when all's said and done
Complained to the Animal Keeper
That the lion had eaten their son.

The keeper was quite nice about it
He said, "What a nasty mishap
Are you sure that it's your lad he's eaten?"
Pa said, "Am I sure? There's his cap!"

So the manager had to be sent for
He came and he said, "What's to do?"
Pa said, "Yon lion's 'eaten our Albert
And 'im in his Sunday clothes, too."

Then Mother said, "Right's right, young feller
I think it's a shame and a sin
For a lion to go and eat Albert
And after we've paid to come in!"

The manager wanted no trouble
He took out his purse right away
And said, "How much to settle the matter?"
And Pa said "What do you usually pay?"

But Mother had turned a bit awkward
When she thought where her Albert had gone
She said, "No! someone's got to be summonsed"
So that were decided upon.

Round they went to the Police Station
In front of a Magistrate chap
They told 'im what happened to Albert
And proved it by showing his cap.

The Magistrate gave his o-pinion
That no-one was really to blame
He said that he hoped the Ramsbottoms
Would have further sons to their name.

At that Mother got proper blazing
"And thank you, sir, kindly," said she
"What waste all our lives raising children
To feed ruddy lions? Not me!"

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Hollands Pies
made with flies
concrete bottoms
and iron sides

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses and all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs for breakfast again

:D:D

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Just googled for "Ching Ching Chinaman - and blow me down if there wasn`t a post from Margaret Pilkington. Mt grandparents were Pilkingtons from Chesterfield! Mum learned the poem from her and used to sing it to me. (I`m nearly 73 now and it suddenly came into my head just this morning - first time since I was a child).

I wonder if we`re related, Margaret! LOL!

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Pat, we must be somewhere along the line.

My Grandmothers family were from Chesterfield, but that does not explain the link as I am Pilkington by Marriage.

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Odd to a mas old age

My days of youth are over
My light is going out
What used to be my sex appeal, is just a water spout
Time was when, of its own accord would from my trousers spring
Now it is a full time job to find the bloody thing
It used to be emberrassing the way it would behave
When earl every morning it stood and watched me shave,
now I'm getting older it far gives me the blues
now it hangs its little head to watch me clean my shoes
:(:(:(:(:(:(

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Eating a bunch of bananas. and where do you think he put the skin?
Down his best pyjamas.

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Roses are Red.
violets are blue.
god made little boys handsome.
What happened to you.

Roses are red, cabbages are green.
If my mug is funny, then yours is a scream.