Accrington Web - Latest Jimmy Bell Revelations!.

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Latest Jimmy Bell Revelations!.

In last night's telegraph Jimmy gives us 'the inside line!'...
(quote) 'at the moment there does not seem to be an abundance of goals from us, APART from Paul Mullin or Ian Craney' (end of quote).
Now I am quite overwhelmed by this analysis, because I always understood 'abundance' to mean 'a great and plentiful amount'.
Have I been in some parallel universe for the last month or two
because I just can't recall either Paul or Ian scoring many goals at all , let alone an abundance !. Or is this just Mr Bell assuming that those who choose to read his column looking for some interesting information regarding 'the Reds' are in the main, a load of morons ?.
From this he arrives at the startling conclusion that ' we need a goalscorer, without a shadow of a doubt. We have missed that'...Then Jimmy goes on to suggest that this is down to the 'passing of Roscoe D'Sane', what perspicacity !, ( I wonder if he's mentioned this fact to John Coleman ?).
As the Headline of his column proclaims 'STRIKER MUST BE TOP OF OUR PRIORITIES', one wonders why then have JC and JB,obviously realising this fact, not done something about it before now instead of applying the ad-hoc and totaly unsuccessful 'strike formations' which we have witnessed over the past month or so ?. So much for 'Priorities!'.
Finally, having noted that since Roscoe left, He ( Paul Mullin) has been left doing much more work ( Poor lad, if he does any more work he'll be disappearing up his own...)....but WE are
looking at ways to CONTAIN his energy levels !!.
Now if I was Paul Mullin I'd be watching my Back, and everything else, because who knows what Machiavellian training methods our forward-thinking Managers have in store for him ? ....Massive doses of PHYLLOSAN ?..because 'a striker must top our list of priorities'!.( any more ideas out there?)
Jimmy's column is an absolute HOOT, and the funniest thing since 'Beachcomber'....if only it wasn't so near the truth!.

STANLEY 1.......BARNET 1.

'WHAT ME WORRY' ?'...'ON STANLEY...ON!!'