Accrington Web - Red-coloured glasses !!

As many contributors of our Message Board have asked me by P-M ,and some by ESP !, how I came to own my Super Duper Highly Prophetic Red coloured Spectacles...I have to say that these are not readily available from Opticians, Chemists, or other Ophthalmic Emporia in these days of galloping recession !!..

BUT !!... If any of those desirous to own their very own Rosy Optic Improving Implements, have a few moments to spare in their busy day...or night even..it really doesn't matter !...then I have devised a DIY solution to this matter!!..

*To make your very own ACCRINGTON STANLEY Red-coloured glasses you will need:

- 1 x tin of Quality Street (any size, although the larger the better)
- 1 x pair of spectacles
- 1 x 2 oz. blob of Blu-Tack

METHOD !!…

First, eat the entire tin of Quality Street*. Next cut out two pieces of a Strawberry Delight wrapper of roughly the same size/shape as your spectacle lenses. Finally, simply attach these to the front of your spectacles using the Blu-Tack. Voila !! - now everything that passes through your world will have a delightfully Red ’Stanley’ hue…and life will somehow feel better !!..

* (Alfred.E. claims that it would be quite sufficient at this step for me to simply*unwrap*a Strawberry Delight but this is the worst kind of crazy-talk. I didn't become the man I am today by simply unwrapping*a Strawberry Delight!)* ….

Get some today !…and wear them always…..They solve all problems ..as recent tests of their efficacy will bear witness to !!