Accrington Web - 2017/18 Prediction League; Game 25 v Grimsby Town FC (away)

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2017/18 Prediction League; Game 25 v Grimsby Town FC (away)

Grimsby Town

Accrington Stanley

2017/18 Prediction League; Game 25 v Grimsby (away)

This week’s starter for ten; who is currently manager of Bury? And name the three teams whose last manager before the current one was John “I won’t tek me coat off, I’m not stoppin” Sheridan? And whose catch-phrase was that?

So; crisis? What crisis? Everything will be fine; nothing can go wrong; just remember the last words of General Custer at the Battle of Little Bighorn ................ “Indians? They couldn’t hit a barn door at this dist.................”

That said, it is a tad worrying ............Since November 1st we’ve played eleven games; we won 4-0 at Wigan in the EFLTroffy on 7th November, and beat Wycombe 1-0 in the League on the 21st; we also drew with and lost to Guiseley in the Cup, lost at Lincoln in the EFL Cup and in the League, and have five points from seven League games, including losing our last four in a row and dropping from 2nd in the League to 9th ................ Our best result in December was the postponement against Swindon, being the only game where we didn’t give the other side three points .............. and if we were to win our game in hand we’d jump up to at least fifth, and if we won it 8-0 we’d actually go 3rd; I wish!

Coley said this week, “There’s a bit of anxiousness among the players (it’s a scouse word for “anxiety”). Sometimes when you go into a bad run of defeats you can start feeling sorry for yourselves, we’ve got to be positive, lively in training and vibrant in what we do”. I’d think it’d be a fair division of effort if he and the players sort out the “lively” and the fans sort out the vibrators? ........what d’you think? It might have been better, though, if we weren’t visiting Grimsby this week - the side who were the first ones to beat us this season (2-1 at ours, all the goals in five minutes either side of half time, and ours scored by Kayden Jackson) – but, as they say, we are where we are (a saying I’ve never entirely understood ..................... if we weren’t where we are, where would we be?).

Dunces caps to Vegan Greenpeace this week for their one point out of 15 possible; Barnet, Swindon and the Stanley each have one win and four losses in their last five (3 points), and Chesterfield, Morecambe and Stevenage each have four points from 15...... Teacher’s Pets are Luton and Lincoln, each with 13 from a possible 15 (4 wins, 1 draw); Notts County have 2 wins and three draws in 5, and those three are the only sides not to have lost in their last five games.

They brought in eight over the summer, including CB Nathan Clarke from Coventry, MFs Sam Kelly (who used to be in “’Allo Allo”) and Mitch Rose (who didn’t) from Portly V and Newport Isn’tItLookYouEisteddfodTown respectively, striker Harry Cardwell from Reading, and MF Sirike Dembele from the Nike Academy (where presumably they learn how to make sports clothing and football boots); after the season started they added PV’s striker JJ Hooper (so good they named him twice) and Martin Woolford from Fleetwood, a town where they make world famous lozenges (which apparently once led to an exchange between the Judge and Defence Counsel in a Crown Court trial where, after the defendant had a coughing fit, the Judge asked “Would your Client care to suck a Fisherman’s Friend?” to be met with the retort, “Thank you, My Lord, but he believes he’s in enough trouble already” ................ to complete the set, at the end of August they took Blackpool’s Jamille Matt on a season-long loan.

The Mariners’ home League record is W4 D5 L3 GF12 GA12; away, it’s W5 D2 L5 GF14 GA17, giving them overall P24 W9 D7 L8 GF26 GA29 for 34 points and 13th place .........every team in the top 12 has a positive GD; every team from 13th (Grimsby) to 24th has a negative GD; GTFC are level on points with Carlisle, and actually only four points (and a dozen goals) off the playoffs ..................... We haven’t beaten them since they regained their League status at the start of 2016/17, losing 2-0 away last season and drawing the return game 1-1 (Sean McPlayeroftheSeason scoring after 89 to salvage a point)

They were, did you know, the first English club to appoint a foreign manager (Hungarian Elemer Berkessy in 1954); they were formed as Grimsby Pelham, which sounds like the Detective in a very poor Victorian novel; they’ve played at Blundell Park since 1898; former managers include Bill Shankly, Lawrie McMenemy (who’s now 81 – where do the years go?) and Alan Buckley; record appearance holder is one John McDermott (currently Shadow Chancellor of the Exchequer) with 754; their highest scoring home draw is 5-5, which they managed twice in a three month spell back in 1932/33 against PNE and Charlton; their biggest home defeat was on Boxing Day 1899 (0-7 against Man U); and their biggest Cup defeat was in 1882/83, when they lost 9-1 to Phoenix Bessemer ..................Phoenix Who? You may well ask!

Deadline for entries is, as always, scheduled kick-off time, which is 3.00pm on Saturday 30th December ..................... For all the statistical reasons set out above, it would be quite a good idea to win this one, you might think (?) ...........and we’ve only scored one from open play in the last four games, so we might like to address that issue as well (?) – although we’re still the joint fifth highest scorers in League Two, alongside Swindon and Colchester, and behind Luton (58), Notts County and Wycombe (43) and Carlisle (36) ........... and Billy Whizz is third in the list of goal scorers with 13, behind Luton’s Danny Hylton and Notts Co’s Jorge Grant, each with 15 ................and did you see that Santa made a return trip to Carlos Carvalhal’s house this week ..................... having been sacked (or “parted company with”) by Sheff Wed on Christmas Eve, he’s now the new Manager of Swansea ................ he should be able to bank the payoff cheque from the Owls and live off his Swansea salary, I’d expect ............ why do things like that never happen to us?

And – for the record; Bury’s current Manager is Chris Lucketti ................ John Sheridan is currently the innediate-previous manager at Oldham, Plymouth and Notts County .............. and “I won’t tek me coat off ....” was the catch phrase of Ken Platt ........... remember him?

Good luck to everyone! .......... Keep the Faith! .............. Have a Fantastically Happy New Year! ........... And thanks for playing!

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