Accrington Web - 2019/20 Prediction League; Game 14 v Ipswich Town (home)

Accrington Stanley

Ipp’s Witch Town FC

2019/20 Prediction League; Game 12 v The Tractor Boys (home)

The scene is the Chairman’s Office at Mill Farm, Wesham (home of AFC Fylde); the time is 3.30pm on Saturday 12th October; because of travel issues, their game against Sutton Utd has been postponed; so the conversation turned to how the Chairman and President might fill a now boring afternoon

“I know”, one of them must have said; “We’re in the GreasyPole spots, and that Challinor bloke’s been here since November 2011 - almost as long as Jimbo McMorecambe. Why don't we sack the Manager?” ......... So they did.

“We’ve won together, laughed together, lost together and cried together," said a joint statement from Coasters chairman David Haythornthwaite and president Dai Davies. Today it was the latter, as we took this decision to part company with a man who was not just our manager, but someone who became our friend and whom we respect enormously not only as a manager, but as a human being."

But they still sacked him .................. And Barrow won’t let them have Ian Evatt to replace him (why would they?), so watch this space ................. NB the scenario above is a dramatised account, where liberties may or may not have been taken with the real events (Liberties? Moi?).......................... And The Coasters are at home to Peterborough on Saturday in the FA Cup; happily for them (I hope) it’s Peterborough Sports, not Ivan Toney and his cronies ................ And did you see – I missed it - that the self-styled “Fat Lad from Barnsley” (Jon Parkin) retired just before the season started? Another of my all-time favourites gone ................. aged 37, 17 stone in his string vest and undies, 6’4” tall, and a career of 670 games and 225 goals ........... His “epitaph” read;

A typical pre-match meal would include fishcakes, burgers and a fry-up

"It's come to that time in my career where no matter how hard I try, I simply can't run the 100m in under 10 seconds anymore," the self-effacing striker said on Twitter. “I always knew that once my pace went that I could never be the same player so I've decided it's time to hang the boots up."

I think there's only You Fat Bastard left!

And I’ll tell you something else; they’ve got some history, have Ispwych ....... Founded in 1878, they played around the local area amateur circuits until turning professional in 1936, and were elected to the Football League on 30th May 1938 .....so good were they that they remained in Div 3 South until 1954, then winning promotion to Division Two, but GreasyPoling the season after ........ however, when they terminated Manager Scott Duncan and hired The Man With No K (Yet) – one Alfred Ernest Ramsey - in August 1955, things started looking up, and they went back up to Div 2 in 1956/57, up to Division One for the first time ever in 1960/61, and blow me if they didn’t win the League Title in their first year (1961/62 – the year Roger Hunt topped the Div 2 goal scorers’ list with 41, and we were expunged), beating Burnley by three points and Spurs by four ............. They played in the European Cup in 62/63, beating Floriana of Malta 14-1 on a grey gate before AC Milan Did It Unto Them 4-2 (although Milan did win the whole competition) ...... And this week’s starter for ten; what was our season’s playing record as at the date we were expunged?

Sir Ernie Ramsey, as he later became, left to manage England, and did OK, all things considered; his replacement was Wor Jackie (Milburn), who lasted from 1st May 1963 to 8th September 1964; having been promoted in 60/61 and having won the title in 61/62, 63/64 saw them (with Bolton) slide down the GP of Oblivion into Div 2, losing 26 of 42 and conceding 121 goals (one of the highest figures ever, although the record is Darwen’s 141 conceded in the old Second Division in 1898/99)................ Bill McGarry (later of Wolves) came in, and subsequently their Managers included Sir Bobby Robson, Bobby Ferguson, John Lyall, George Burley, Joe Royle, Roy Keane, Mick McCarthy and, for 17 days, Tony Mowbray ......... They also won the FA Cup in 1977/78 (beating Arsenal 1-0), and the UEFA Cup in 1980/81, 4-2 on aggregate (a grey gate) against AZ Alkmaar of Dutch Holland – and they were runners-up in the First Division in 1980/81 and 81/82

I’ve been researching the origins of their nickname (“The Tractor Boys”), and it appears, as best I can tell, to have derived from the period back in the 1870’s when their fans adopted, as their Club Song, “One Man went to Mow” (you remember –

“One Man went to Mow,
Went to Mow a Meadow,
One Man and His Dog and a Bottle of Pop and a Sausage Roll,
Went to Mow a Meadow”

And hence – Tractor Boys..................... And if you believe that you’re dafter than I thought you were! The real story is more mundane; Ipswich acquired their new nickname in their first run out in the Premier League, named Tractor Boys because of the agricultural links to the area. When they played Birmingham, the Brummie fans apparently sang “No noise from the Tractor Boys” (try it to the tune of “You’re sh!t and you know you are”) during a routine win, and the name stuck, so that soon the Suffolk fans began using it to refer to themselves, highlighting the club’s lack of glamour when compared to their more illustrious opponents. ........................ I still prefer my version ...............…

Mind you, there’s better out there; Athletico Madrid is known as Los Colchoneros (the mattress makers) because their shirts resemble a traditional pattern on Spanish mattresses, and FC Koln - founded in one of the working class districts of Cologne (as we call it) – are known as Geissbock (Billy Goats); “Goat” is apparently a derogatory name for the poor, and “Geissbock” stuck ........ and Koln still parade a mascot goat called Hennes – after former coach Hennes Weisweiler – before every home match. Love it!

They’ve had better seasons, to be fair, than last season; 24th of 24, with a record of P46 W5 D16 L25 GF36 GA77 for 31 points (20 at home and 11 on the road) and relegation, one point behind Bolton (why do they keep getting relegated with Bolton?) and 9 plus some goals (-11) behind Rotherham – although Rotherham actually concede more than they did ........... They departed the FA Cup at Our Place in Round 3 (1-0 – Billy Whizz on 76) and the EFL Cup 4-2 on pens at Exeter in Round One after a half-Desmond .........…

Nineteen players left in the summer – mainly, I think, the lower league “didn’t happen” signings of Paul Hurst; 8 went to Nowhere FC, one to Larne, one to Manchester 62, then it’s Colchester, Malmo, Felixstowe and Walton Utd, Charlton (Luka Vega), King’s Lynn, Maidstone, Wigan (LB Patrick Webber), Bolton (RB Josh Emmanuel, who designed Princess Diana’s Wedding Dress, I seem to recall) and Pompeii (striker Ellis Harrison); six came in to replace them; Czech GK Tomas Holy from the Gills; Tranmere’s ex-striker James Norwood; Baggies’ Welsh-born GK Adam Przybek (you’d not have him down as a Taffy with that surname, I suspect); Lincoln CB James Wilson; Colchester RB Kane Vincent-Brown, quoted as costing £500,000; and Hull striker Well Keane - sorry, Will Keane

Leading scorers, as you likely know, are Kayden “Special K” Jackson, with 7 (6 in the League) and James Norwood with 5; Kayden has started every League game, unlike Janoi who’s started 6 times – 4 in the League, 2 EFLTroffy – and Toto Nsiala (0 League starts, 1 Troffy start) ................... they’re unbeaten in the League (so far!) with 8 wins and 3 draws from 11 games, 21 scored, 5 conceded, and 27 points for #TopOfTheTable, 4 points above Wycombe with a game in hand – and Gareth Ainsworth’s announced it will take a very special offer to tempt him away from Adams Park, a day after Sunderland appointed Phil Parkinson and not him as their new Boss............... call me a cynic if you want!

Deadline for entries is of course, as always, scheduled kick-off time, which is twelve noon on Sunday 20th October ............. no one will be there, of course, because they’ll all still be in Church at that time of a Sunday – silly time to arrange a game! Only one competitive fixture ever between us (see “Billy Whizz” above) so we have total bragging rights for another day and a half at least! And an unbeaten run has to stop at some time! And they’ve never even scored a competitive goal against us! And if you look out of your window there’s a flock – or is it a herd? - of Flying Pigs just going past! And our 1961/62 Expunged Record was P33 W5 D8L20 GF19 GA60 Pts18 ............. and that included 19 games where we didn’t score!

Good luck to everyone!......................... Keep the Faith!................... And thanks for playing!

:alright::alright::alright: