For an educated man it was taking quite some time for him to get the message. I could see that I was going to have to be brutal.
'B***** , you need to go out and meet somone else. I am not going to go out with you again......ever.......so go now and take the roses with you'
I can't describe the look of total despair on his face......I can't forget it either.
My Mum came in just as he was leaving and asked what was going on.
' B***** is just leaving......and he isn't coming back'
Mum gave me a withering look. She made it quite clear that she liked B***** and thought my actions were disgraceful and bad mannered.
I think she thought that B***** would take the place of D*** and that I would have a better life.....you know the kind of thing....nice house a couple of kids.....not having to work my fingers to the bone.
How could I make her see that it wasn't the right thing? Not for me anyway!
B***** stopped visiting the factory floor......and a few weeks after we split up I heard that he was dating a girl from the sales office.
My life was devoid of any social interest, unless you count the odd visit to the library.
I spent a lot of time with my dad. Although he worked at another mill, we were on the same shift pattern. So when I got home from a 10pm shift he would come down to the bus station and pick me up. We would have some supper together and then I would go and listen in on his radio conversations. He was a radio amateur and he made contacts all over the world. We used to stay up until the early hours of the morning.
This made my mother angry. I'm not sure if there was an element of jealousy at the time I spent with my dad.......I know that she was mad at me for how I had treated B***** and she saw that as a lost opportunity........I don't know if she was suffering from a bit of menopausal madness too, but she began being horrible with me.
I came home after a 6am shift one day to find all my clothes flung out in a heap in the back yard.......she ranted and she screamed at me......told me to find somewhere else to live as she was sick of my crap. I didn't want to find somewhere else to live.....how miserable would it be in a bedsit.....no social life, no family life.....just work.
I felt totally unworthy of any happiness. The psychic woman that I worked with had told me that things were going to work out........what I really wanted to know was........? WHEN?
I didn't know what I had done to deserve this, truly I didn't.
I always helped out with the youngest three children.....I cooked and a did my share of housework and yet this was how I was treated.
My dad just said to keep a low profile for a bit.
I tried my best to keep out of her way......that did help a bit, but sometimes she would seek me out with the intention of having a row.
I spent more and more time in my room, reading and listening to records.
My life was not very happy.
I would go out for walks just to get out of the house.
I had been working on an early shift, my dad came down to the bus station to pick me up and on the way back home we were driving along Nuttall Street and had just gone under the railway bridge and I spotted a figure that I thought I knew......From the back it looked like D***.
This guy even walked like D***. He turned onto Victoria Street before we drew level with him so I never got to see his face.
I wondered if,because of my unhappy state, I was having hallucinations.
I got into the house and made myself a cup of tea and went upstairs to get changed.
I hadn't been up there for more than 5 minutes when my Dad shouted for me to come down......he said there was someone here to see me.
I thought 'oh no.....if it is that bloody B*****.....I'll scream'
I walked into the kitchen and there was D***.
I could not believe my eyes......he was suntanned and his hair, which had been a dark blonde was really blonde.....he was talking to my Dad.....telling him about his travels and his trip back on the ship.
He glanced my way and smiled......I excused myself and went upstairs.
I sat on the side of the bath and had what I suppose the victorians would call 'a fit of the vapours'
I calmed myself down and splashed my face with cold water and went back downstairs.
Dad had made D*** and himself a drink. Dad excused himself to get changed.
D*** asked me how I was. I told him I was ok. He asked if I was going out with anyone. I told him that I wasn't. He asked if he could take me out that evening.......I said that he could, but that we would have to be back for 10pm. I told him that I was on an early shift next morning and had to be up at 4:30.
He finished his drink and said he would see me later.
I felt weak with surprise, desire, longing.....call it what you like.
I wondered if this meant that we were going to be able to pick up where we had left off....except I was a different person now... but then so was he.
I was not going to take anything for granted. To be continued.
'B***** , you need to go out and meet somone else. I am not going to go out with you again......ever.......so go now and take the roses with you'
I can't describe the look of total despair on his face......I can't forget it either.
My Mum came in just as he was leaving and asked what was going on.
' B***** is just leaving......and he isn't coming back'
Mum gave me a withering look. She made it quite clear that she liked B***** and thought my actions were disgraceful and bad mannered.
I think she thought that B***** would take the place of D*** and that I would have a better life.....you know the kind of thing....nice house a couple of kids.....not having to work my fingers to the bone.
How could I make her see that it wasn't the right thing? Not for me anyway!
B***** stopped visiting the factory floor......and a few weeks after we split up I heard that he was dating a girl from the sales office.
My life was devoid of any social interest, unless you count the odd visit to the library.
I spent a lot of time with my dad. Although he worked at another mill, we were on the same shift pattern. So when I got home from a 10pm shift he would come down to the bus station and pick me up. We would have some supper together and then I would go and listen in on his radio conversations. He was a radio amateur and he made contacts all over the world. We used to stay up until the early hours of the morning.
This made my mother angry. I'm not sure if there was an element of jealousy at the time I spent with my dad.......I know that she was mad at me for how I had treated B***** and she saw that as a lost opportunity........I don't know if she was suffering from a bit of menopausal madness too, but she began being horrible with me.
I came home after a 6am shift one day to find all my clothes flung out in a heap in the back yard.......she ranted and she screamed at me......told me to find somewhere else to live as she was sick of my crap. I didn't want to find somewhere else to live.....how miserable would it be in a bedsit.....no social life, no family life.....just work.
I felt totally unworthy of any happiness. The psychic woman that I worked with had told me that things were going to work out........what I really wanted to know was........? WHEN?
I didn't know what I had done to deserve this, truly I didn't.
I always helped out with the youngest three children.....I cooked and a did my share of housework and yet this was how I was treated.
My dad just said to keep a low profile for a bit.
I tried my best to keep out of her way......that did help a bit, but sometimes she would seek me out with the intention of having a row.
I spent more and more time in my room, reading and listening to records.
My life was not very happy.
I would go out for walks just to get out of the house.
I had been working on an early shift, my dad came down to the bus station to pick me up and on the way back home we were driving along Nuttall Street and had just gone under the railway bridge and I spotted a figure that I thought I knew......From the back it looked like D***.
This guy even walked like D***. He turned onto Victoria Street before we drew level with him so I never got to see his face.
I wondered if,because of my unhappy state, I was having hallucinations.
I got into the house and made myself a cup of tea and went upstairs to get changed.
I hadn't been up there for more than 5 minutes when my Dad shouted for me to come down......he said there was someone here to see me.
I thought 'oh no.....if it is that bloody B*****.....I'll scream'
I walked into the kitchen and there was D***.
I could not believe my eyes......he was suntanned and his hair, which had been a dark blonde was really blonde.....he was talking to my Dad.....telling him about his travels and his trip back on the ship.
He glanced my way and smiled......I excused myself and went upstairs.
I sat on the side of the bath and had what I suppose the victorians would call 'a fit of the vapours'
I calmed myself down and splashed my face with cold water and went back downstairs.
Dad had made D*** and himself a drink. Dad excused himself to get changed.
D*** asked me how I was. I told him I was ok. He asked if I was going out with anyone. I told him that I wasn't. He asked if he could take me out that evening.......I said that he could, but that we would have to be back for 10pm. I told him that I was on an early shift next morning and had to be up at 4:30.
He finished his drink and said he would see me later.
I felt weak with surprise, desire, longing.....call it what you like.
I wondered if this meant that we were going to be able to pick up where we had left off....except I was a different person now... but then so was he.
I was not going to take anything for granted. To be continued.
