Well l slept, not the sleep of the righteous l suppose, but l slept.
I was in here last night but was feeling a little left out again, so pretended l'd taken sleeping tablets, which l hadn't. A fairly early night did me good, perhaps l should try and get more? Even when l don't sleep l could still lie there.
It was great to see Aunt Ros back in situ. At her worst she had this contining thought she had lost her house, so she should at least be able to put that fear to one side. She seemed a little frail but almost normal.
I HAVEN'T HAD ANY DRUGS FOR A WEEK.
It was a stupid thing to do l suppose. l was sick, literally of not sleeping and feeling as if l was going mad, and not feeling l was really me. Well, l still struggled sleeping, but l'm shaking more and my dexteroity is much worse. The suprise there then is that l do need to take them. Seeing Tidswell once every six months seemed an awful long time, when getting the drugs right is so critical to my life now l'm relatively well. In five years time I'll probably be a proper shaking mess. This is not being defeatist, l'm still pinning my hopes on a miracle cure being discovered in the near future.
The outcome of my drug free week is that l will start taking them again, with the knowledge that they are doing me some good. All l knew before was that l'm much worse than l was this time last year, but l'm better than l would be without the drugs. So l better get used to the ups and downs, and not feeling quite myself ever again.
After having had tea with Mum, l returned to find yet again l'd been mentioned in a thread which had nothing to do with me. Like l posted, l love a joke. l tease people all the time. But when l was feeling vunerable l became a bit self defensive. I was accused of stealing ackers, which the person soon realised she'd lost them not from me, but for attempting to steal someone elses. She did inform me though in a pm, that when she thought it had been me, Willow had given her some in return. Obviously reading the thread but feeling unable to comment, a gift to the victim seemed appropriate. Very Christian.
Like l discovered earlier in the week love/ kindness is often shown in small ways. People that make a song and a dance of their piety are not always the most caring. I haven't the foggiest if Willow reads this, or Busman anymore, this isn't an attack on her, just an observation about people in general.
For the people that have shown what l consider true kindness to me thank you, l hope l will one day be able to repay it some how.
Here ends today's ramble, now where are my pills?
I was in here last night but was feeling a little left out again, so pretended l'd taken sleeping tablets, which l hadn't. A fairly early night did me good, perhaps l should try and get more? Even when l don't sleep l could still lie there.
It was great to see Aunt Ros back in situ. At her worst she had this contining thought she had lost her house, so she should at least be able to put that fear to one side. She seemed a little frail but almost normal.
I HAVEN'T HAD ANY DRUGS FOR A WEEK.
It was a stupid thing to do l suppose. l was sick, literally of not sleeping and feeling as if l was going mad, and not feeling l was really me. Well, l still struggled sleeping, but l'm shaking more and my dexteroity is much worse. The suprise there then is that l do need to take them. Seeing Tidswell once every six months seemed an awful long time, when getting the drugs right is so critical to my life now l'm relatively well. In five years time I'll probably be a proper shaking mess. This is not being defeatist, l'm still pinning my hopes on a miracle cure being discovered in the near future.
The outcome of my drug free week is that l will start taking them again, with the knowledge that they are doing me some good. All l knew before was that l'm much worse than l was this time last year, but l'm better than l would be without the drugs. So l better get used to the ups and downs, and not feeling quite myself ever again.
After having had tea with Mum, l returned to find yet again l'd been mentioned in a thread which had nothing to do with me. Like l posted, l love a joke. l tease people all the time. But when l was feeling vunerable l became a bit self defensive. I was accused of stealing ackers, which the person soon realised she'd lost them not from me, but for attempting to steal someone elses. She did inform me though in a pm, that when she thought it had been me, Willow had given her some in return. Obviously reading the thread but feeling unable to comment, a gift to the victim seemed appropriate. Very Christian.
Like l discovered earlier in the week love/ kindness is often shown in small ways. People that make a song and a dance of their piety are not always the most caring. I haven't the foggiest if Willow reads this, or Busman anymore, this isn't an attack on her, just an observation about people in general.
For the people that have shown what l consider true kindness to me thank you, l hope l will one day be able to repay it some how.
Here ends today's ramble, now where are my pills?