Grandparents and Contracts???

dotti34 · 09-08-2018, 09:22

Here we go again. Those pesky child experts (have they got children of their own I wonder, or do they just try to stuff everyone else’s up) are now advising formal childcare agreements be drawn up between grandparents and parents when the grandparents are being used as babysitters.

Apparently common points of tension between parents and grandparents are stated as being too many sugary treats, too much screen time for older children and disrupting sleep and feeding routines for babies.

Doesn’t mention such things as love and caring which is given in abundance by all the grandparents I know, including us. Of course they get ‘grandma treats’ – so does grandma, though we’re not stupid and know the limits to go to AND they also get good healthy food – but as well the children get undivided attention and lots of things to do. I would say the screen time they get is mainly at home. Formal contract indeed! What an insult.

I wish my mother had been here to enjoy my children and them her – no contract needed. They would have benefitted greatly, and she would have loved every minute of it.

cashman · 09-08-2018, 09:26

Experts in the main are pillocks trying to justify their existence, and mainly are to be ignored imho.

Less · 09-08-2018, 10:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by cashman

Experts in the main are pillocks trying to justify their existence, and mainly are to be ignored imho.

Nah, we can't ignore them, they fill our lives with so much joy and humour, I can't stop laughing at them!

Besides if we weren't presented with such gems of expert ignorance we would run out of new threads on here.

hilleluk · 09-08-2018, 10:26

We have looked after our grandson for the past fourteen years, and our 20 month old granddaughter the past 12 months, sharing the care with my grandaughters paternal grandmother. All of us have been happy to do it. My grandson has had continuity in his life coming here every day. has good manners etc. He has been a joy in our lives as is our granddaughter, even though it can be hard work at times. My daughter is grateful for all the input that comes from the grandparents, I can honestly say we have never fallen out over any issue. Grandparents make the best alternative if the parents have to work.

Less · 09-08-2018, 11:02

Decent Grandparents already have contracts with their children so far as grandchildren are concerned, it is a lifetime contract that started the moment their own children were born and is automatically passed on to the next generation to come along, it is called love.

(can't believe I said that, I must be getting to be a sentimental old fart as well as a cynical one!).

Margaret Pilkington · 09-08-2018, 12:05

While I would never admit to being one of those G things....I think that you do your utmost to help your children.
If that means you care for their children, then you do it in a way that suits you.
After all it worked when you were bringing up the parent of this child...so what has changed(apart from us getting older and a bit more wiley)?

As for experts....I always tell people that this is the definition of an expert.
X marks the spot....and a spurt is a drip under pressure.

Common sense, kindness, a sprinkling of fun and silliness and the continuity of someone who loves them is all any child needs.

monkey hanger · 10-08-2018, 08:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by cashman

Experts in the main are pillocks trying to justify their existence, and mainly are to be ignored imho.

earlier in the week the experts came out with exercise is good for you but too much can be bad. bloody hell, a thick northerner like me worked that one out years ago for free.

Margaret Pilkington · 10-08-2018, 08:54

Experts(as soon as I see that term I disregard what they say and vow to do my own thing) are now telling us that we are wrong to avoid salt.

So will all the companies who jumped on the low salt bandwagon now go back to original recipes?
How long will it be before the sugar fascists....(you know those who have forced companies to ditch a natural sweetener in favour of chemical alternatives)will be told that sugar (in moderation) is better than the alternative chemicals?

I will not change my eating habits on the say so of these people.

ferret man · 10-08-2018, 11:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by hilleluk

We have looked after our grandson for the past fourteen years, and our 20 month old granddaughter the past 12 months, sharing the care with my grandaughters paternal grandmother. All of us have been happy to do it. My grandson has had continuity in his life coming here every day. has good manners etc. He has been a joy in our lives as is our granddaughter, even though it can be hard work at times. My daughter is grateful for all the input that comes from the grandparents, I can honestly say we have never fallen out over any issue. Grandparents make the best alternative if the parents have to work.

Grandparents make the best alternative if the parents have and WANT to work

DaveinGermany · 11-08-2018, 07:52

And who or what actually defines these people as experts?

"Experts" .... My Arse!

Margaret Pilkington · 11-08-2018, 07:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaveinGermany

And who or what actually defines these people as experts?

"Experts" .... My Arse!

Son....that is a very good question.
It usually means they have gone to a University and got letters after their name.
Now while they were at university exploring high flown ideas....the likes of me and you were out in the real world dealing with the things that life threw at us.
Getting experience of the 'real world' as opposed to academia.

You and I were graduating from the university of life.....and their degrees are not easily won....they take a lot of work.
The kind of work that puts calluses on your hands rather than your bum.

Less · 11-08-2018, 09:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaveinGermany

And who or what actually defines these people as experts?

"Experts" .... My Arse!

Other experts seem to anoint those they consider divine enough to become experts.

Now, I'm no expert but...
Someone that recognises an expert when he sees one is this guy and I agree with him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by cashman

Experts in the main are pillocks trying to justify their existence, and mainly are to be ignored imho.

Margaret Pilkington · 11-08-2018, 09:23

Me too Less...me too!
You can't put anything past him.

Less · 11-08-2018, 09:40

What we mustn't do is confuse the idea of experts with people that are competent, that is a different kettle of fish, almost anybody can be an expert Grandparent, they have books on the subject and no doubt exams for those that wish to go on and become 'Professional experts' in that area.

To be a competent Grandparent takes time, patience and a large open heart that ensures the needs of parents and grandchildren are seen as a natural consequence of being a Grandparent.

KiTChener · 11-08-2018, 15:17

Quote:

Originally Posted by Less

To be a competent Grandparent takes time, patience and a large open heart that ensures the needs of parents and grandchildren are seen as a natural consequence of being a Grandparent.

So true, Less..... I have the pleasure & absolute privilege to be Grandad to four (two of each), & great-grandad to two boys, one of whom I had the dubious pleasure of changing his nappy yesterday whilst mum nipped out!!