Christian Science - Page 44

K99WARD · 19-03-2014, 20:31

Hi folks! Just checking in to wish you all a happy Easter. Remember it, when Christ died for all our sins. Yes all of them. Now is the time to take advantage of God's generous offer.

DtheP47 · 19-03-2014, 21:01

Welcome back...

Margaret Pilkington · 19-03-2014, 21:07

I really can't say I have missed you!
I certainly have not missed your evangelical posts.

maxthecollie · 19-03-2014, 21:32

Go back and bother your backward dog (god)

DtheP47 · 19-03-2014, 21:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

I really can't say I have missed you!
I certainly have not missed your evangelical posts.

Nay Margaret... he has reminded me Easter is all about chocolate to the vast majority of people.

For that I am truly thankful

Margaret Pilkington · 20-03-2014, 06:36

Easter is a month away.....and I thought that after the hoo-haa about sugar being poison to us that many of these confections will be left on the supermarket shelves.....anyway, I have not eaten my 2 boxes of Christmas Thorntons yet.(both lie unopened)

Restless · 20-03-2014, 06:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by K99WARD

Hi folks! Just checking in to wish you all a happy Easter. Remember it, when Christ died for all our sins. Yes all of them. Now is the time to take advantage of God's generous offer.

Second most important day of the year! Of course I am referring to pancake day. I was so happy with the day of gluttony

Less · 20-03-2014, 07:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by K99WARD

Now is the time to take advantage of God's generous offer.

Why? Is he having a bankruptcy sale.

"Hi my names God, less than a month until the Friday & Monday bank holidays, the first celebration of mammon since we celebrated Mary putting in a paternity claim, anyway we're having a bogof sale, over that time, everything must go, two miracles for the price of one and to add to the deal for that one weekend only, Я souls are us will drown any child of your choice in a baptism special.
We have entertainment on for the whole family, my lad will walk on water, turn water into wine (that's one for the dad's) and for his grande finale, he will show you how to survive 3 metres up a cross with his hands and feet tethered by nails, (eat your heart out David Blain you'll never top this one).
Don't forget to get you free snacks at our, all you can eat bread and fish in the basket all day buffet.
Just call down, and join in.

Can I just remind all you fatties out there of our weight loss programme? Yes, another chance for you to spend 40 days and 40 nights wandering our exclusive desert. Wait there's more for one day only a guest appearance of the Devil himself! Panto time is back, you'll have so much fun shouting out, HE'S BEHIND ME.

So get yourself down here and remember to log in to our facebook page, New Testament, we beat the crap out of you Old Testament. And don't be put off if my son asks you to be his friend while your logged on, after all, we all have a friend in Jesus".

Margaret Pilkington · 20-03-2014, 07:29

Less, your irreverent humour is wicked....this should qualify for post of the year!

Less · 20-03-2014, 07:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

Less, your irreverent humour is wicked....this should qualify for post of the year!

A bit early in the year to be handing out awards Margaret.

Anyway I'm busy working on my 'All Hallow's Eve', free Witch guide.

Not on Sundays though, I'm planning to go to a certain Church Sundays and interrupt the services by shouting out, "denounce Jesus he's the son of a false God", let's see how they like me turning up uninvited the way they do on here?

What are the odds that if I do this I won't get a Christian welcome?

K99WARD · 20-03-2014, 08:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by Less

A bit early in the year to be handing out awards Margaret.

Anyway I'm busy working on my 'All Hallow's Eve', free Witch guide.

Not on Sundays though, I'm planning to go to a certain Church Sundays and interrupt the services by shouting out, "denounce Jesus he's the son of a false God", let's see how they like me turning up uninvited the way they do on here?

What are the odds that if I do this I won't get a Christian welcome?

Good morning Less. How are you this fine day? Rejoicing night and day as you walk the pilgrim way? By the way, Less, don't advertise, will you as it's not allowed in the rules and could get you an infraction. I do suppose the mods apply the rules fairly?

By the way Less, it does say in the left hand corner that I am a full member of this forum. I am grateful for this award but for how long, who knows? :-)

gpick24 · 20-03-2014, 08:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by K99WARD

By the way Less, it does say in the left hand corner that I am a full member of this forum. I am grateful for this award but for how long, who knows? :-)

Not a full shilling though.

Less · 20-03-2014, 08:41

Quote:

Originally Posted by K99WARD

By the way, Less, don't advertise, will you as it's not allowed in the rules and could get you an infraction. I do suppose the mods apply the rules fairly?

I think if you check the rules advertising is permitted with the owners/Mods permission.

I am allowed to advertise because like your God I work in mysterious ways.

The mods bend over backwards to be fair and forgiving, but break the sites Commandments and you will be punished by a wrathful Administrator.

Quote:

Originally Posted by K99WARD

By the way Less, it does say in the left hand corner that I am a full member of this forum. I am grateful for this award but for how long, who knows? :-)

Try to resist temptation for a little while longer and if you actually post enough site friendly, you will see it change again and you will truly become a 'God' member.

Quote:

Tealeaf
God Member

Until then, try your best to resist the temptation to collect souls, I'm playing the free will card, so if I'm wrong You're God will have to forgive me because religion isn't compulsory and he hasn't shown me the light.

gpick24 · 20-03-2014, 08:42

What happens if you get to God Member, will you get kicked out of church for blasphemy.

edit: Damn, Less beat me to it.

K99WARD · 20-03-2014, 08:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by gpick24

What happens if you get to God Member, will you get kicked out of church for blasphemy.

edit: Damn, Less beat me to it.

I am glad you asked this question, gpick. God has decreed that while WE were yet sinners (yes all of us) he sent his son into the world to die for us. He shed his blood for us because that is what God demands as the atonement for sin. We have until we die or when he comes again (whichever comes first) to repent of our sins. After that comes the judgment!

PS. Repent doesn't mean just be sorry for what WE have done but to turn again to the right path.