BENEFITS hmmmm

[Margaret Pilkington]

Less, having experienced a suicide in my own family I cannot alter my opinion.
The person who commits suicide thinks of no-one but themselves. They do not think of their parents, their siblings or their partner.
Those who are left to pick up the pieces frequently and for many years ask themselves the same questions...with no answers being forthcoming.
To bat on when everything seems against you is the courageous thing to do..not chuck the towel in.

Some people who commit suicide may be mentally ill...and while I accept that Mental health is a poor relation in the NHS stakes, there are helplines available for those who really feel truly alone(Samaritans is one of these organisations).
Being a nurse is not a panacea for all ills...and we (even nurses)have our opinions. Mine is coloured by personal and painful experience.

I have just the tiniest inkling of what this man's family are going through right now.

[Less]

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

Less, having experienced a suicide in my own family I cannot alter my opinion.
The person who commits suicide thinks of no-one but themselves. They do not think of their parents, their siblings or their partner.
Those who are left to pick up the pieces frequently and for many years ask themselves the same questions...with no answers being forthcoming.
To bat on when everything seems against you is the courageous thing to do..not chuck the towel in.

Of course they don't to commit suicide means they are ill, you can't think surely that they are thinking am I being selfish?
They are looking desperately for an end to what they consider an horrific suffering.
Selfish is gaining something, neither the person or family gain anything from suicide, the ones left behind have only feelings of guilt no doubt wrongly because they didn't see it coming.

[Margaret Pilkington]

Of course they are not thinking of anyone else.
And yes, family members will continue to ask themselves why they had not spotted any signs. When someone is mentally ill, there are usually perceptible changes in them.
If someone continues to act 'normally' (whatever that might mean) then there is no suggestion that they are ill.
As a family member you ask yourself why this person could not come to you for help, for advice, for support. It is a very painful experience......and sometimes it is a spur of the moment impulse that takes them away....rather than cogent thought.

[davebtelford]

A suicide doesn't have to leave the survivors in doubt - he/she can leave a letter explaining their choice.

Many of us who believe that we will end our lives in this way never do, and refrain from doing so because of the hurt it would cause to our friends and family - but we live with the thought every day. Others could never contemplate such an act even in the direst circumstances.

I don't believe suicide is a consequence of mental illness. For me it would be an expression that the continuation of life is unacceptable and I do not fear death.

Surely voluntary euthanasia is a form of suicide but not a consequence of mental illness?

[Margaret Pilkington]

Those who do it on impulse may never leave anything....but doubts.
If someone is intent on taking their life then they will do it one way or another...these are the ones that the family know are troubled and still they may not be able to help.

The ones who take tablets are often hoping that they will be found and saved....these are the ones that are demonstrating a 'cry for help'.


I just wonder if the people who commit suicide were told that they had a life limiting disease, would they want help to live...or help to die.

Only when you stare death in the face do you realise how precious life is....and how much there is to live for.

[davebtelford]

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

I just wonder if the people who commit suicide were told that they had a life limiting disease, would they want help to live...or help to die.

For me it would be the help to have an easy death & a way to avoid the pain of suicide.

[Margaret Pilkington]

Isn't that what everyone wants in the end...a good death?

And a good death is different things to different people.

[Accyexplorer]

I don't think suicide is selfish (like I've heard it being called), if someone isn't happy in life, and nothing seems to make them happy then suicide often becomes a cry for help from a broken soul that can't handle anymore pain etc (also I don't think it should be a criminal offence for those that try but fail to take their life).

High rates of suicide in any society should be viewed as a failure of said society and their inability to identify and treat mental illness.Of course nothing would completely eradicate suicide but I feel there should be more help available (especially in colleges,schools).

[Less]

Originally Posted by Accyexplorer

(also I don't think it should be a criminal offence for those that try but fail to take their life).

Suicide hasn't been against the law for about 50 years.

Suicide Act 1961 - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[Accyexplorer]

Originally Posted by Less

Suicide hasn't been against the law for about 50 years.

Suicide Act 1961 - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

My bad
I thought it was still illegal

[Margaret Pilkington]

Why should society be to blame?
Somehow we want someone else to responsible for every aspect of our lives.
Happiness is a very subjective thing.
What makes one person happy could very easily make another miserable.

When people are having problems in their life there should be one person in their circle - either family or friends, that they can confide in. If they choose not to do that, then how are they to be helped...especially if they are not showing any outward signs of being upset, unhappy or in low mood.

We all get fed up with our lot from time to time...and often there is just cause for this...but the majority of us have developed coping strategies from our experiences.

[cashman]

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

Why should society be to blame?
Somehow we want someone else to responsible for every aspect of our lives.
Happiness is a very subjective thing.
What makes one person happy could very easily make another miserable.

When people are having problems in their life there should be one person in their circle - either family or friends, that they can confide in. If they choose not to do that, then how are they to be helped...especially if they are not showing any outward signs of being upset, unhappy or in low mood.

We all get fed up with our lot from time to time...and often there is just cause for this...but the majority of us have developed coping strategies from our experiences.

Blaming society is n easy answer to me.

[Accyexplorer]

I just think we (as a society) could/should take a little more responsibility for making folks lives bearable.We should focus on supporting firmer ways to prevent suicide, like helping people contact professional help, supporting research and treatment of depression.

Saying that though,(I also believe) for a lot of depressed folk telling them things like you should talk to someone can be harmful because being told you need to talk to someone can/will induce emotions like guilt, responsibility etc, often at a time when that person (most likely) will be unable to deal with any added psychological burdens. Sometimes when folk are depressed or suicidal, the last thing they want to do is talk to someone, especially if they are the ones that have to do the reaching out.

My brain hurts

[Margaret Pilkington]

How do firmer ways prevent suicide?

We have become a society that expects someone else to be responsible for the things that WE ourselves should be in control of.
Too uch navel gazing is bad for you.
Perhaps if people actually talked to one another(face to face) instead of relying on mobile phones and devices to communicate.

There has been a whole generation who went to war and fought for this country to be a free democracy.....people who saw and dealt with atrocities as young and impressionable people. Those people came home and rebuilt the country.......if anyone had the right to be traumatised, to be affected and demoralised by the things that went on during that time, then it was these young men and women.

They had built strategies for dealing with the bad/unhappy things in their lives.

Maybe the people of today have expectations which are too high.....we can chase happiness all we want, but sometimes it isn't something external( a new car, a better house, a nice holiday)sometimes happiness is accepting the life we have and making the best of it.
Like Stephen Sutton.

[Lucysgirl]

I'm bracing myself for the next batch of high flyer male youngsters whose suicides will be reported just before or after they've received their uni graduation results and neither their family or friends will know the reason why, especially as he was so cheerful the last time they saw him.

Experts don't know why either, although they acknowledge stress which leads to depression is one factor. The Princes Trust recently did a survey of over 2,000 sixteen to twenty-five year old youngsters and found 9% of long term unemployed felt they had nothing to live for and one fifth of those who were unemployed had contemplated committing suicide.

We all know boys brains are wired differently from the fair sex; a big clue is the bright chatterbox who went to bed last night gets up the next morning and can't string two grunts together. We also know they're not fully developed until they're about 25 years old yet we consider they're fully grown adults capable of riding all the storms life throws at them a full 7 years earlier. Authoratative figures make it plain they should fend for themselves, yet they probably haven't a clue about budgeting or what comprises a balanced diet which is necessary for a healthy body and mind; and in my opinion a meal comprising of a cheap can of baked beans or a beef burger with a tiny piece of lettuce and a slice of tomato isn't a healthy meal, no matter what the advert states.