[flashman]

I don't know why someone didn't figure this out sooner. I
use shampoo in the shower. When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down
my whole body, and printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this
warning:

"FOR EXTRA VOLUME AND BODY."

No wonder I have been gaining so much weight lately. Well,
now I have gotten rid of that shampoo and I am going to start showering
with Dawn dish soap instead. Its label reads:

"DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE."

So now my weight problem should be solved. If I don't
answer the phone, I'll be in the shower.