I want my money back please.
The 'newsletter' was really just a shopping list, written on the back of a betting slip.
The 'full colour photographs' were a strip of passport snaps taken in a photo booth, and I'd rather not say what of.
Lastly, the cuddly Less toy that I received is nothing like the one that was pictured on his television appeal.
Quite franky I feel a tad disappointed, and would like my future direct debits cancelled please.