When faced with sarky jobsworths or officialdom, I usually apply the following :-
I wanted to do this job once but didn't get in.
Why ? Not clever enough/couldn't pass the tests ?
Nah mate, when I told 'em me parents were married ...........
OR
I'm special me !
Aye, course you are mate, now stop pishing on yer boots & licking the windas there's a good lad ! 
So it's not PC, but it's a damn good put down.