You could have told her in great detail, with a lot of fictional padding, even creating a detailed fictive world ... but remembering all the time to be long-winded and boring ... and just keep going and going and going like the little pink bunny, not allowing her a break. And when she started looking bored, and seeming as if she wished she were anywhere but listening to you, you could have gone on with renewed vigor, untill she cried "enough", or ran screaming to the washroom.
Of course "screw you bitch; it's none of your goddam business" is always an option.
