[Guinness]

Just been reading some tweets about stupid lies your parents told you. Some real crackers..

Ducks have extendable legs so they can walk along the bottom of the pond

A little man runs underneath the motorway turning on the cats eyes

My dad told me he went to the gym with Batman, I was 11 before my friends convinced me otherwise

The gunshot wound my dad told me he got while serving in the SAS is in fact the scar from a cyst removal

If you touch the heating wires on the rear windscreen you will be electrocuted

Cows sleep in trees at night that's why you never see them in the fields after dark

My dad told me he was a Uboat commander, he was scottish and born in 1941

Shaking Stevens is a midget who wears built up plimsolls

My dad told me he had black hair because he worked down the mines as a child

If you put your clothes on before drying yourself after a bath you'll catch the dreaded 'kinking cough'

My dad gave me a ball bearing and told me that there was a diamond inside, spent the whole summer trying to open it.

The ice cream man only sounds his chimes when he's run out of ice cream.......



As for me.....Told one of mine that I'd built the starship Enterprise and as proof pointed myself out in one of the films doing a bit of welding in space in full astronaut gear, which, according to her, she boasted to her doubled up with laughter teacher the next day.

So ignoring the obvious ones we all tell about Santa and the tooth fairy etc..

Has anyone else told an absolute whopper to their kids?