[Guinness]

The top 5 road users I would willingly don a black hood and hang....

1. 28mph man/woman...no faster, no slower...They'll push it up to 35mph in a 40 zone and toodle along at 60mph in the middle lane on a clear motorway. They take the outside lane at Dill Hall going towards the Dunk and stick to it because their turning right towards Burnley a mile down the road.

2. You ain't overtakin' me....drives with two wheels on the central white lines totally oblivious to anyone behind (this is usually a female), hasn't got the confidence to perform an overtaking manoeuvre but is determined not to let anyone else past either.

3. Wrong lane Charlie.....the guy (ALWAYS a audi/bmw or equivalent male), who ignores the arrows on slip roads or lane closed ahead signs just to get one or two car lengths ahead and forces his way in ignoring the infuriated honks of proper drivers forced to brake and swerve behind him.

4. Cyclists...lycra clad dipsticks who travel two abreast, ignore the highway code, hold everyone up until they manage to get past only to see them weave in and out at the next traffic light to rinse and repeat.

5, Dustbinmen...think its ok to ignore the highway code because they have a sign on the back warning that they may stop suddenly..hello guys..this doesn't mean you can double park for five minutes in rush hour, reverse or do a three point turn on a main highway.

Dishonourable mention for

Taxi drivers...rules of the road don't apply to them..a breed apart...double yellow lines, double parking, indicators, road courtesy, sounding your horn...what are they then?

Drivers who block junctions by driving through traffic lights on green with their exit blocked, knowing full well that they will not get through before the lights change, usually a female.

If I win the lottery this weekend....this is my new ride..