[Gordon Booth]

A doctor once told me 'Never put anything in your ear smaller than your elbow'- I'd been using cotton wool buds. He said it was very easy to do damage.
Sticking a candle in sounds a bit iffy. What if hot wax goes the wrong way?
Talking cotton wool buds, I heard of one guy who was busy cleaning his ear. The phone rang, he grabbed it, pushed it to his ear- unfortunately he'd left the bud sticking out. That ear's just for holding his glasses on now.