Accrington Web - View Single Post - One good turn deserves a smack in the mouth.

DtheP47 · 23-03-2014, 10:45

Maybe I should have started a nw thread entitled "A sandwich short of a buffet"

Saturday night in the Forts Arms in full swing, 60th birthday part in the back room and main bar lively celebrating one of the regulars 35th birhday.
9:30 and Linda West brings round from home a birthday buffet as she is wont to do. Great quiches, cheese pies and two massive trays of sarnies.
Me concentrating on what new real ales are on the bar engaged in conversation with landlord Darren... whoosh exit stage right from Darren and the hulabaloo goes up "two scrotes have nicked a tray of sandwiches"
I go out behind 4 or 5 lads who saw it happen and have given hot pursuit to see one of the miscreants pinned to the floor on Grange Street by 2 regulars and an off duty copper who just happened to be driving past. Lots of kicking and screaming from scrote #1 and attempts to bite the copper. Scrote #2 nowhere to be seen.
Now I don't know what is categorised as reasonable force but it looked OK to me with two 15 stone lads sitting on him until the paddy wagon arrived. He'll be flippin' sore this morning, I'm sure I heard his wrist crack during the melee as he tried to bite the PC.
Copper says they lock him up and kick him out of the cells early morning probably with out charge. Two Rishtoners evidently.
Dimship was heard to say "We only did it as a joke" Well the rats and early morning dogs out walking will have had a feast on Linda's butties because the scrotes had thrown them into the bushes alongside Mercer Park.
Ho Hum and fiddle de dee.

23-03-2014, 10:45	#23
DtheP47 I am Banned Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Horsehead Nebula Posts: 1,718 Liked: 772 times Rep Power: 0	Re: One good turn deserves a smack in the mouth. Maybe I should have started a nw thread entitled "A sandwich short of a buffet" Saturday night in the Forts Arms in full swing, 60th birthday part in the back room and main bar lively celebrating one of the regulars 35th birhday. 9:30 and Linda West brings round from home a birthday buffet as she is wont to do. Great quiches, cheese pies and two massive trays of sarnies. Me concentrating on what new real ales are on the bar engaged in conversation with landlord Darren... whoosh exit stage right from Darren and the hulabaloo goes up "two scrotes have nicked a tray of sandwiches" I go out behind 4 or 5 lads who saw it happen and have given hot pursuit to see one of the miscreants pinned to the floor on Grange Street by 2 regulars and an off duty copper who just happened to be driving past. Lots of kicking and screaming from scrote #1 and attempts to bite the copper. Scrote #2 nowhere to be seen. Now I don't know what is categorised as reasonable force but it looked OK to me with two 15 stone lads sitting on him until the paddy wagon arrived. He'll be flippin' sore this morning, I'm sure I heard his wrist crack during the melee as he tried to bite the PC. Copper says they lock him up and kick him out of the cells early morning probably with out charge. Two Rishtoners evidently. Dimship was heard to say "We only did it as a joke" Well the rats and early morning dogs out walking will have had a feast on Linda's butties because the scrotes had thrown them into the bushes alongside Mercer Park. Ho Hum and fiddle de dee.