[flashman]

A Scotsman, an Italian and an Irishman are in a bar. They are having a
good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place.

Then the Scotsman says, "Aye, tis a nice bar, but where I come from,
back in Edinburgh, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, ye buy a drink,
ye buy another drink and MacDougal himself will buy yir third drink!"
The others agree that sounds like a good place.

Then the Italian says, "Yeah, datsa nice bar, but where I comma from,
dere's a better one. Inna Roma, dere's dis place, Vincenzo's. At
Vincenzo's, you buy a drink, Vincenzo buys you a drink. You buy anudda
drink, Vincenzo buys you anudda drink." Everyone agrees that sounds like
a great bar.

Then the Irishman says, "And you think that's great? Where Oi come from
in Dublin, there's this wee pub called Morphy's. At Morphy's, they boy
you your forst drink, they boy you your second drink, they boy you your
tird drink and then they take you in back and get you laid!"

"Wow!" say the other two. "That's fantastic! Did that actually happen to
you?"

"No," says the Irish guy, "The truth is it happen to me wife!