[West Ender]

Just to cheer you up, or not as the case may be, Accrington is not alone in being dirty.

I work in a government office in Warrington, the North West capital of pub-and-club-land. There are 7 nightclubs and 16 pubs surrounding my office, plus a few take-away food outlets. Every morning our building is surrounded by empty MacDonalds cartons, squashed chips, broken bottles, splatted chewing gum, fag-ends, vomit and other things I hesitate to mention. There is a little motorised wagon that comes round, occasionally, and sweeps up the débris from the pavements and gutters but, otherwise, it's left to the girls in our Enquiry Office to swill the muck off the office steps on a morning.

Makes you wonder what the homes of the creatures who leave such a trail of filth must be like.