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There I was enjoying the sunshine and two middle aged monstrosities came prancing towards me.
Both with massive beer bellies, both wearing shorts and Tshirts showing, because of their varracuss veins that they know nothing about healthy living, two of the most ugly blokes I've ever seen, how could they even consider dressing the way they were?

They turned to each other lovingly and the side view allowed me to realise they were female!

They kissed, very friendly females. Then the larger of them stopped in mid stride and pulled a 2litre bottle of coke from her crutch!

I hadn't expected such a spectacle, it hit my funny bone, the owner of the bottle saw my laughing and enquired, have you got a problem pal?

Although I could tell she wasn't amused and just a touch threatening I couldn't avoid answering (and then running away), 'well, it's no wonder you won't get a fella if you can keep your cola that cool where you keep it', the language she came out with, no gentleman has enough imagination to use such.