[Retlaw]

My fathers funeral cost less than £100. He asked me about 5 or 6 years before he died to make him a coffin, asked what kind, he said get some chip board an knock a simple box together ids gonna get burnt anyway. I made hin his box out of mahaogany faced chipboard. it stood in our front room for all that time after, every so of he would stand in it and say thad'l do. When he died in that place across from Accy Vic, got the death cert, went to cem, filled in all the paper work got a date & time of day, hired a white van, went tut crem at Accy Vic, managed wi a struggle tio get him int box, nailed the lid down and drove to crem, put him on the trolly wheeled him inside, and there was a god botherer stood at the lecturn wit back ground music playin, Ignored the lot and pushed fayther ontut conveuor belt, and was puttin the trolley away when mother, sisters, and an aunty came intut foyer, she geet angry an played ell because I hadn't told her, I towd her tu shud up, Im doing what he asked, an youv'e hated fayther for years, and if I had followed his wishes to the letter he would be sliding down tip up Whinney Hill, All the time the god botherer is stood there gob smacked, he didnd know what to do, I just climbed int van and took id back to firm an geet my deposit returned