[Sparkologist]

Even Mr Tealeaf would have to try hard to offend more folks than this joke in one sitting.

A Scottish Jew who had worked hard all his life in Scotland, decided that he would like to enjoy life a little, so he went to the exclusive St. Andrews Club. He was told on applying that his application would have to be approved by the Membership Board and that he would have their decision in a couple of days.

Two days later he was told that his application was refused. He went there to find out why. He was asked, "You're Jewish, aren't you?"

"Aye," he answered, "but I'm as Scottish as you are, Jock."

"Well, you understand that we wear nothing under our kilts."

"Aye, I know that."

"And being Jewish, you must be circumcised."

"Aye I am that"

"Well, the board have decided that they could not stand a circumcised man parading around with us."

"Och, away with ye man," he cried. "I know I must be a Protestant to march in the Orangeman's parade, and a Catholic to belong to the Knights of Columbus, but this is the first time I've heard that a man had to be a complete Google Page Ranking*ck to be a Scotsman!"

Go on, Mr Tealeaf, Sir. Let's see if you can out perform this.