[Margaret Pilkington]

Dotti, I think you have hit the nail on the head there.
My father had lung cancer and it was a huge effort for him to breathe let alone talk...and yes, there is the sensitive issue of what to talk about when you know that someone has a life shortening condition.
Not everyone can deal with these issues sensitively. In short we are afraid we will end up with a foot in the mouth.
Then there are those members who have their own plates full of stuff to deal with.(I am pretty sure Mick would not want us to go and talk about our own difficulties...and he would ask about our families because he is that sort of guy. Comparing hospital experiences and the relative merits of consultants, swapping medical histories isn't a cheering event)
It isn't that we don't care, it isn't necessarily that we haven't time. You cannot pour from an empty cup.